We do standing doggy, lying doggy, tilted doggy, all the breeds of doggy, but I still haven’t had a butt orgasm.
I know this because of this program I’m enrolled in: Butt Hole Bliss. Anal play, the spiritual way. My hair stylist and life coach, Ashley, she just started it.
Since getting stopped up, I’ve done everything I can to clean the pipes. Coffee enemas. Pounds of kale.
“Can’t I just fuck you in the vagina?” he said, putting a backpack over his shoulder, grabbing his keys off the counter.
He tosses a Taco Bell bag and Metamucil on the counter and says, “These should help.”
Krissy would like the world to know the following:
Krissy Eliot writes things that are funny, shameless, and satisfyingly disgusting. She's had Gonzo-style sex columns in the San Francisco Bay Guardian and Bay Area Reporter, covered controversial science as an editor at UC Berkeley's California magazine, and has even worked as a writer in the aerospace industry. Krissy believes in living a life worth writing about, which is why she gets nearly trampled in political protests, infiltrates "orgasmic meditation" cults, and spends nights in the woods with Bigfoot hunters. You can find Krissy on History Channel shows talking about cryptids and UFOs. You can also find her doing live fiction readings in Portland, Oregon, telling tales of pumpkin-spiced obsessed vampires and lobotomies delivered via anal beads. Check out her work at www.krissyeliot.com. Oh, and if you're an agent, don't be shy. She wants you too.