I applaud telling memoir in the third-person. It worked for Isherwood.
Give Karie an A for effort. This is a lesson in organizing your pages. Staples are your friend. And a lesson in summary vs. scene. Everything is summarized until ten minutes in, then we get the fight scene and some dialog to ground us. Please be very careful of the thought verbs and adverbs, the first sign that you might be summarizing.
That said, I am hooked by the question of whether or not the son dies…
Thank you, Karie Anne!
