60 Comments
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Oh I cant wait! So fun. We are lucky students Mr. Palahniuk!

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Luck? Winning is about hard work here. Being in the world 24/7 as a writer.

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Is the soap for when I finish with your class and the Christian far-right tell me to wash out my dirty-whore-mouth? lol I hope so,

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Chuck, are you going to store these libraries of phrases that you're developing somewhere besides here? Just curious if you're planning on having them on your website or not.

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THAT is an excellent idea. For now they'll be here.

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I’m biting my lip with anticipation.

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Reading the post, one corner of his lip began to curve upwards, resulting in a half crescent moon of a smile.

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Can winners of previous contests compete? (And win?)

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I am weighted by remorse for shrugging off my Heartburn win because I had just got the Valentine’s Day prize. Self-truth learned: Chuck’s packages are the best and I am greedy.

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founding

Wil, I won at Valentine’s and Heartburn and felt guilty that I was not being generous by passing the Hearburn gift along to other contestants as you and other second-time winners did. I did my best attempt at having my cake and eating it too by sharing with my family (Chuck was so awesome with how he did this for me). I LOVE Chuck packages, they are amazing.

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No glitter balls in the Easter packages because those balls look too much like candy.

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Instead you'll get that cellophane "Easter grass" but only if you promise not to drop it into the oceanic garbage vortex.

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A vivid memory is each year when the chocolate was gone, desperately rooting through the grass in hope of finding a jelly bean, which if found, was usually the least favorite flavor.

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author

Actually, those are pretty damned nice memories.

FYI, the Random House book distribution warehouse is a million square feet dubbed "The Death Star" in Maryland. The county is home to swimmer Michael Phelps, who locals tell me was famous in his college years for walking into every bar and shouting, "My name is Michael Phelps, and my major is PUSSY!"

The county also holds an annual art show wherein all artists assemble their work using only Peeps marshmallow candies.

It is called:

https://carrollcountyartscouncil.org/peepshow/

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Say and do what you want but I have no regrets about dining on the sparkly forbidden fruit and will continue to do so!

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author

You've set me up for a perfect gibe at British food. I'll let Karen take it from here...

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A rule of thumb -- the word food must be surrounded by inverted commas when preceded by the word British.

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Uhhh Ok.... I'll let you "get away" with that just because Canada is still ruled by the Queen of England. ;)

My gears are already turning about this contest! It'll take a lot to get me to "change lanes."

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I actually have a minor aversion to Brit humour (and, from what I've seen imported to the "colonies") and cuisine. Not really my cuppa,

unlike the "2 lost souls living in a fishbowl" genre (I was inspired to write about 4 posts in that thread fyi).

But thanks!

Incidentally, I love "exotic" cuisines, except when I've overdone it and not feeling well.

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PS Hate to say, but the Brit "food" theme has gone a bit stale in recent decades. I prefer to break new crust (e.g. tortes). :)

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Great for you! Honestly, because it was unclear a runner-up had risen up to claim in my stead, and mail takes so long to get to me, all this time I’ve been secretly hoping to get another Chuck package anyway. When I told my wife why I kept asking about the mail, she said, “don’t pretend to be a good person when you know you’re not.”

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founding

Haha I love your wife.

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Yep, she’s awesome 😍

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author

Of course, and if you'd like you can specify that the prize goes to a third party.

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Woohoo!

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founding

Ooh! A contest, yay!

Hey Chuck-- going through your old essays in Lit Reactor. Did Tom ever write the “A Hole in The Heart” book about his workshop? From my google search, I’m guessing no...

Hoppy Saturday!

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author

Sadly, he did not. For years I pushed him to write it because it would've been a stable source of income.

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founding

Bummer. Tom seems like a great teacher. And I guess you’re ok too. 😉 Really though, thanks for sharing all your knowledge with us. How lucky I am.

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March 27, 2022
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I understand feeling vulnerable but I like to imagine this as a safe space.

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March 27, 2022
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No, but ok then I shall assume the risk anyway!! And add the movie to my list.

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March 27, 2022
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Lucky in that I was born in a time where I don’t have to drive 2,200 miles west to listen in on Chuck’s lectures. At least the internet is good for something! ☘️

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Yeah, go pandemic! ;)

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I've been wondering about this too. I'd love to have a book full of Tom's wisdom straight from him. We gotta thank Chuck for passing on his wisdom.

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I made white bunny soap once and gave it away at a party where someone else told the hostess “I brought you white chocolate.” Yep.

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These soaps smell so much like chocolate it's uncanny.

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Gonna be tapping my toes waiting to see who wins this one

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founding

How egg-citing! 😄🐰🐣

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I’m in it to win it... for my daughter, whose love and obsession of rabbits and Easter (she’s waiting for them to coincide with her bday which is 4/19) is unparalleled.

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Argh, now I'm rooting for you!

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Oh Mike, now you need to win.

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I'm putting my thinking cap on.

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I missed the last quiz/contest because I wasn't paying attention. With a treasure trove of Easter goodies (that will immediately be confiscated by my Tiny Human) on the line I need to step it up.

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The widow’s hand flew to her heart as she talked about her husband.

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She waved her hands in front of her eyes as if the small wind would cull the tears.

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I will be making a valid effort to not be so writerly this time! 😆😖

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She'd pass through the living room reflexively stroking the top of his head while he was safely in a trance the TV provided

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