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To be frank, I'm deeply sorry to nix the tour readers. They are fantastic writers. I would not have asked them if I didn't love their work. Some decisions are out of my hands. I apologize completely.

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Eric got fleeced by a business manager back in the 90s.

The vultures who eat creative people are all creative accountants.

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author

Yikes. Just like my Donadio & Olson fiasco.

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EGADS! Is there no end to crooked behavior, no depths to which we might sink?

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Well I hope your book signing today go smoothly and you get some press. Let me know if you need anything like a gallon of Coffee a dozen doughnuts.

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Puree the doughnuts into the coffee and set him up an IV, doc.

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Chuck grabs fistfuls of doughnuts at workshop. He lays them all out on those cheap brown napkins they give you when you buy a box. Then the next time I look up from the current story that is being read, they are all gone.

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I eat two doughnuts. Maybe three.

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Oh that is right because of we use too many gerunds he playfully tosses a doughnut at our head. Getting hit with a powdered one is like the mark of shame.

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Don’t track how many donuts people eat! That’s bully shit.

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You got to be in close quarters with Eddie Fisher and you think you lost? There's a whole book there, an interesting book. Did you ever bone Liz? No, you didn't. And yet you still think you're interesting.

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He was very discrete. I hate that in a memoir. He did bone Liz.

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I’ll miss seeing you today. If anyone sees this and needs a ticket message me and I’ll try to get it transferred.

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There is something in so spiritual about that story. It’s an analogy for something, I don’t know what. Love the ending line. 🫶💛

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I admire your strength of purpose.

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author

Hey, it's what you do to keep writing full time. A small price.

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Those backstages sound like Purgatory’s Waiting Room.

Would be a great setting for one your books Chuck. The details would be rich.

Green Room Hell

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author

I wrote all of this into the "Miss America" short story within 'Haunted.' That's what you do with cringe and pain and shit.

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Ah sweet. Will check it out.

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I think the story is called 'Green Room.'

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Everything is fodder for fiction.

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Haha perfect. Cheers

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Ah, I knew this all sounded eerily familiar. Love it.

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Thanks for the inside scoop! Eat this stuff up like candy. Hope this tour shows you in each location just how many fans you have who really do “hang on your every word”. Let the hawking resume!

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It reminds me of being a band wife. Backstage in a green room, if you’re lucky, being ignored by all the other band wives who hate that you’re there because you might want their man. Either that or stuck at the merch table selling demos no one wants or shirts. Purgatory.

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founding

You reminded me of my merch table story.

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founding

Dammit, now I want a glass bottled orange Crush soda.

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Sep 9, 2023·edited Sep 9, 2023Author

The publicist says audiences are very different since covid. Publishers are just now beginning to tour writers, and readers who show up are much more reserved.

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founding

Idk the crowd at your AZ stop was ready to get hit in the face with spotted dick. Btw you fake peein’ yourself...chef’s kiss. Thank you

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author

This is a small aspect of why the tour readers didn't work.

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The change in how audiences behave is what I'm referring to. Not me pissing myself.

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David Cross has a standup bit about doing tour press for local morning radio shows. He said the hosts are always a duo of men with one going by their first name and the other going by an animal name like “Gator” or “Rooster.”

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Hah! Jonathan Lethem wrote an essay that concluded with the fact that everyone doing morning radio for a book tour was holding in their first day's bowel movement.

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I love hearing part of the inspiration for Haunted.

Any chance you’re still in need of a kangaroo helper in Miami?

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author

I'm pretty sure I do...! Come a bit early.

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Will do, can’t wait!

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