67 Comments

Don't Google "Big Ears Teddy shouldn't see this."

Expand full comment
Mar 25, 2022·edited Mar 25, 2022

Being stuck on a plane on a runaway has turned into a big fear. I buy the $37 three gallon jug of water just in case.

Expand full comment
founding

This reminds me of how I always wondered what happened to pugsley, Sarah Connor’s iguana from terminator.

Strange thing to fixate on, but it just always gets me the thought of that poor animal abandoned after the roommate is killed.

Expand full comment

You know, I heard that the goldfish is the happiest animal on earth because its memory only lasts ten seconds. Which leads me to a selfish unrelated question.

Can you give some insight on how to go about coming up with a transitionary device/phrase similar to “Jump to…” in Invisible Monsters? I really like that concept and need something like that for a story where I’m jumping back and forth a lot between timelines. It also feels like it works as a sort of chorus in some ways too, although “Sorry Mom. Sorry God.” is the true chorus I assume.

The problem is that there are only so many ways I can think of to say -- fast forward, rewind, etc. I’ve been looking at both Invisible Monsters and Slaughterhouse-Five for insights on this. You of course have the repeated phrase, which I like and would like to coin one of my own. Vonnegut seems to be less upfront about it. Instead of saying “now we’re going here” he’ll be telling about Billy Pilgrim getting his photo taken as a war prisoner and then all the sudden transition to him being back in the dentists office via becoming “unstuck” in time.

So, while I love what Vonnegut does with that, I don’t think that is going to work for the story I’m writing. I need something that is simple and on point and isn’t a major distraction. Something easy to digest and easy to remember and recognize as a pattern. I know this might be an odd question to take, but if you have any words of advice that would be stellar! In other words, if you had to come up with a new transitory phrase for a different book how would you come up with it?

Expand full comment
founding

Chuck, every prompt so far has resulted in me basing a story on something that happened when I worked at a funeral home. Not sure what that says about me but I’m sure it says something.

Expand full comment
founding

My date had the most amazing fish tank. His fish tank housed two large piranha and one large gold fish. I watch as both piranha would swim near the little castle aquarium. If the piranhas got too close to the gold fish's castle territory they got a hard wack in the gills by Mr. Goldfish. Both piranha would back off quick without a fight. I was floored. Apparently my date bought the gold fish and piranha from the same tank at the local pet shop. The piranha were fed gold fish daily. My date claimed that the pet shop tank held at least 50 large piranha and for some reason this lone gold fish was not eaten and he also ruled the roost at the pet shop too. My date added eel, puffer, and other varieties of fish. No go. Hours after he would add the additions the piranha would leave NOTHING behind. Mr. Goldfish was always there though. Guarding his little castle. I'll always remember that strange little family. lol

Expand full comment
founding

The whole experience happened within seconds but the experience was something I will never forget. I woke up to the feeling of my bed shaking violently. Something large was jumping up and down on the edge of my bed. As I woke up to this feeling I hear a thump go from my bed and then hit my closet wall about three feet away.

I live alone.

I open my eyes.

“Was that a dream?”

“That did not happen! Did it?”

I gather my senses and turn on my bedroom lights. At three in the morning I turn around to see both of my cats on my bed. Their eyes huge and wide. Both with hair on end and reared up and staring into the closet. They were terrified but ready to charge. My little Munchie charged into the tiny closet to look around but we found nothing. My cats were my only witnesses and they were my little angels that night.

Expand full comment

“And the animals I've trapped

Have all become my pets

And I'm living off of grass

And the drippings from my ceiling

It's okay to eat fish

Cause they don't have any feelings

Something in the way”

Unrelated but reminded me of Something in The Way by Nirvana

Expand full comment

This definitely feels like a coincidence. I came up with a little story the other day that’s about a couple cute fluffy cats and the one that is the fluffiest and most innocent looking turns out to be the bad guy… He’s a thief and always stealing food from the other meowzers… But he looks so innocent.

Expand full comment

Definitely worth checking out the comic book Stray Dogs!

Expand full comment

My radioactive counter story was awful. Oooooh. I just came up with a great idea for this. Mooch has seen some shit.

Expand full comment
Mar 25, 2022·edited Mar 25, 2022

There's an episode of black mirror where memories are extracted to solve crimes and press charges and a guinea pig turns out to be the key witness all because they were overlooked when the killer was covering their tracks.

Expand full comment
founding

I love you (but seriously not anything like that)

I signed up cuz I need to put my true story into fiction to avoid as many lawsuits as possible because I have plans to do great things that are bigger and weirder than me...... And I needed to wrap my story into another story, creatively, and that's it.

Since I started, not only have I developed skills that I thought I'd never need but here's this.......I can now look back to all my favorite stories along the way and I feel like I've been let in on that huge secret that's really been sitting there all along.....

Now I've been swilling thoughts in my head. I think I've really got this......know how I know? For the very first time in my life I'm starting something so crazy but I'm not nervous at all.

Thank you, and you and you and everyone who made all this possible. I really just want to save animals and this is all I can think of......... putting my nasty business out there.......I was hungover and tried to sleep through Field of Dreams as a teenager but I still hear "If you build it they will come".

I used to think I was in fact crazy........but now I wonder? Why is it crazy to have ever wanted to be a good person? Imagine the satisfaction, after being socially persecuted for having 5 rescue dogs and 22 wooded acres in Connecticut, when I do complete what I plan to build? Watch out haters o' mine. Shits bout to get liquified!!!!!!

Expand full comment

What if you substituted a live animal with a stuffed animal? It’ll still have the aura of innocence that can be polluted by evil and can pass through multiple hands. What if you tell a story through the eyes of an inmate stuffed teddy bear that is witness to (many) unpleasant things, describing the events in a detached first person like someone who is emotionless and without an actual physical presence — like a camera on a tripod. Then, what if you reveal that the teddy bear is actually one of those spy cameras and that everything that’s been described has been recorded by its camera eyes?

Expand full comment
founding

The best alternate version would have been if Chuck's voice had come over the airplane sound system and he began reading Guts or other riveting stories. The passengers wouldn't even want to deplane when they reached their destination.

There's always a next time. ;)

Expand full comment
founding

And the real reason for the goldfish bowls: So the businessmen (and their guests) will be able to explain away "that fishy smell."

Expand full comment