Said fear being a direct result of an overnight train ride from Lisbon to Madrid where I said to future wife, "We can get water on the train" and said water was only available at the bar - which was closed - and the 4oz water we got in our sleeping cabin was SALTED. Oh and the private cabin had a bathroom with dried shit on the toilet paper holder.
It’s funny this topic came up. My neighbor just died and he and another guy would walk their dogs together all day long. It ends up that his friend took his dog as they had made prior arrangements. But it’s so sad when people pass away and their beloved pets end up being put God knows where. Whenever I see an old dog in a shelter that’s all I can think about. They lost their savior human and now they’re in a lonely and stressful environment where nobody wants them -- especially if they’re old.
True story: I was sitting in my fathers gazebo with a group of friends drinking and smoking weed one night. Something crawled up my leg and I assumed I was hallucinating but nope there was sitting a adorable ferret looking me straight in the eyes. I asked my friend saw it too and started petting it. Good thing it was real! We kept it in the house for a short while but my father said we could not keep it because they stink. So, inevitably we gave it away. We never knew where the goddamn thing came from. It’s not the type of animal that lives indigenously in central Massachusetts.
Oh man that would freak me out if I didn’t see it coming. Yeah like all those invasive pythons in Florida eating cats and dogs! All from people realizing they don’t want to take care of a snake any more and letting it go. Whoops! Maybe ferrets are next.
You know, I heard that the goldfish is the happiest animal on earth because its memory only lasts ten seconds. Which leads me to a selfish unrelated question.
Can you give some insight on how to go about coming up with a transitionary device/phrase similar to “Jump to…” in Invisible Monsters? I really like that concept and need something like that for a story where I’m jumping back and forth a lot between timelines. It also feels like it works as a sort of chorus in some ways too, although “Sorry Mom. Sorry God.” is the true chorus I assume.
The problem is that there are only so many ways I can think of to say -- fast forward, rewind, etc. I’ve been looking at both Invisible Monsters and Slaughterhouse-Five for insights on this. You of course have the repeated phrase, which I like and would like to coin one of my own. Vonnegut seems to be less upfront about it. Instead of saying “now we’re going here” he’ll be telling about Billy Pilgrim getting his photo taken as a war prisoner and then all the sudden transition to him being back in the dentists office via becoming “unstuck” in time.
So, while I love what Vonnegut does with that, I don’t think that is going to work for the story I’m writing. I need something that is simple and on point and isn’t a major distraction. Something easy to digest and easy to remember and recognize as a pattern. I know this might be an odd question to take, but if you have any words of advice that would be stellar! In other words, if you had to come up with a new transitory phrase for a different book how would you come up with it?
Hello Matt -- Consider that a chorus is also a pacing device, something to keep important things from butting together. Often a bit of onomatopoeia works, like the bird's song in 'Slaughterhouse 5.' Or the two-word 'flash-pow' combinations I use in 'Pygmy.' Or the 'Flash' from 'Invisible Monsters.' It's why we (usually men, my female friends say) put sounds effects into the stories we tell aloud. Beside that, consider using the imperative mood, for instance 'Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism' or 'Fight Club's' chorus of 'Deliver me from clever art.' That sudden shift to second-person imperative (instructional or ordering language) gives a good contrast to the narrative it's interrupting.
Besides that, find a chorus that's organic to your narrator's field of knowledge. In 'Survivor' it's 'Testing, testing, one, two, three' because he's using a recording device. Once you find a simple, natural chorus that's in-keeping with your narrator, stick with it but change it up slightly each time you use it.
Chuck, every prompt so far has resulted in me basing a story on something that happened when I worked at a funeral home. Not sure what that says about me but I’m sure it says something.
I will put out a call for links tonight. That way I'll have a centralized place to find them. If I'd like to use one for teaching purposes I'll check with the author.
Wonderful. I’ve been waiting for this. I’ll be sending mine asap. Really looking forward to your feedback if you choose to give any. At the same time, I’m sure you’ll have a lot of stories to look at.
My date had the most amazing fish tank. His fish tank housed two large piranha and one large gold fish. I watch as both piranha would swim near the little castle aquarium. If the piranhas got too close to the gold fish's castle territory they got a hard wack in the gills by Mr. Goldfish. Both piranha would back off quick without a fight. I was floored. Apparently my date bought the gold fish and piranha from the same tank at the local pet shop. The piranha were fed gold fish daily. My date claimed that the pet shop tank held at least 50 large piranha and for some reason this lone gold fish was not eaten and he also ruled the roost at the pet shop too. My date added eel, puffer, and other varieties of fish. No go. Hours after he would add the additions the piranha would leave NOTHING behind. Mr. Goldfish was always there though. Guarding his little castle. I'll always remember that strange little family. lol
What a badass gold fish!!!!! We had a little bass we caught in college and threw into a tank. We called him Bruce the bass and he would eat ANYTHING. I lived in a large run down house that had about 20 people in it. There were mice. So we set up glue traps and we’d throw the mice in for Bruce. Bass LOVE mice. We also caught a walleye, which is super rare to catch in Kansas since our streams are too hot. We put him in the tank and were really excited. We looked forward to watching the walleye and Bruce the Bass grow up together. But before we could name the walleye Bruce ate it.
If you say so...I hear Kansas City is quite lovely. And my most favorite book of all time starts with "The village of Holcomb stands on the high wheat plans of western Kansas, a lonesome area that other Kansans call 'out there. '"
The whole experience happened within seconds but the experience was something I will never forget. I woke up to the feeling of my bed shaking violently. Something large was jumping up and down on the edge of my bed. As I woke up to this feeling I hear a thump go from my bed and then hit my closet wall about three feet away.
I live alone.
I open my eyes.
“Was that a dream?”
“That did not happen! Did it?”
I gather my senses and turn on my bedroom lights. At three in the morning I turn around to see both of my cats on my bed. Their eyes huge and wide. Both with hair on end and reared up and staring into the closet. They were terrified but ready to charge. My little Munchie charged into the tiny closet to look around but we found nothing. My cats were my only witnesses and they were my little angels that night.
Well I was raised in the south so hopefully my clean, Southern charm will smooth over any of my spontaneous split pea projectile vomiting and head spinning antics. ;/
This definitely feels like a coincidence. I came up with a little story the other day that’s about a couple cute fluffy cats and the one that is the fluffiest and most innocent looking turns out to be the bad guy… He’s a thief and always stealing food from the other meowzers… But he looks so innocent.
There's an episode of black mirror where memories are extracted to solve crimes and press charges and a guinea pig turns out to be the key witness all because they were overlooked when the killer was covering their tracks.
I signed up cuz I need to put my true story into fiction to avoid as many lawsuits as possible because I have plans to do great things that are bigger and weirder than me...... And I needed to wrap my story into another story, creatively, and that's it.
Since I started, not only have I developed skills that I thought I'd never need but here's this.......I can now look back to all my favorite stories along the way and I feel like I've been let in on that huge secret that's really been sitting there all along.....
Now I've been swilling thoughts in my head. I think I've really got this......know how I know? For the very first time in my life I'm starting something so crazy but I'm not nervous at all.
Thank you, and you and you and everyone who made all this possible. I really just want to save animals and this is all I can think of......... putting my nasty business out there.......I was hungover and tried to sleep through Field of Dreams as a teenager but I still hear "If you build it they will come".
I used to think I was in fact crazy........but now I wonder? Why is it crazy to have ever wanted to be a good person? Imagine the satisfaction, after being socially persecuted for having 5 rescue dogs and 22 wooded acres in Connecticut, when I do complete what I plan to build? Watch out haters o' mine. Shits bout to get liquified!!!!!!
After your reply to me about burnt tongue (I think it was on The Mercurian post) I made so many subtle changes to the voicing of my character. The difference is night and day and words flow onto the page now. Now I think of it more as doing an impression of someone than writing. At least that’s what it feels like. There is so much less thinking involved now. Having the voice has made things much easier.
That's why you get paid the big bucks don't you. I just sat there and realized I was about to make a huge time consuming mistake.......... .I'm packing up today deciding what to take...........perfect time for some procrastithunking.......but I think I figured that out while writing this......I'm giving mindself mindfuck now ........ty ty ty
You guys fucking see that? No, it wasn't the heavens parting at all but another genius having an an epiphany.
The voice! I'm going to loosely base it on someone in my life and someone on one of my favorite books (not any of yours) and not a main character at all. I tell you my jaw literally dropped when I got the idea. I'm not saying more cuz you are another February Pisces and it will be the hardest thing I've ever done is not share my enthusiasm about this...........
What if you substituted a live animal with a stuffed animal? It’ll still have the aura of innocence that can be polluted by evil and can pass through multiple hands. What if you tell a story through the eyes of an inmate stuffed teddy bear that is witness to (many) unpleasant things, describing the events in a detached first person like someone who is emotionless and without an actual physical presence — like a camera on a tripod. Then, what if you reveal that the teddy bear is actually one of those spy cameras and that everything that’s been described has been recorded by its camera eyes?
Imagine giving your kid a stuffed animal only to discover later through the footage it recorded with it’s eyes that it was in the presence of something extremely evil. This thing that they snuggle with at night, it was once all but 10 feet away from something atrocious. Maybe when you watch the recording you see some blood hit the lens, so you look at the eye/camera on the stuffed animal and sure enough — a smudge.
The best alternate version would have been if Chuck's voice had come over the airplane sound system and he began reading Guts or other riveting stories. The passengers wouldn't even want to deplane when they reached their destination.
Don't Google "Big Ears Teddy shouldn't see this."
Don’t read the short story “Little Things.”
Being stuck on a plane on a runaway has turned into a big fear. I buy the $37 three gallon jug of water just in case.
Said fear being a direct result of an overnight train ride from Lisbon to Madrid where I said to future wife, "We can get water on the train" and said water was only available at the bar - which was closed - and the 4oz water we got in our sleeping cabin was SALTED. Oh and the private cabin had a bathroom with dried shit on the toilet paper holder.
This reminds me of how I always wondered what happened to pugsley, Sarah Connor’s iguana from terminator.
Strange thing to fixate on, but it just always gets me the thought of that poor animal abandoned after the roommate is killed.
It’s funny this topic came up. My neighbor just died and he and another guy would walk their dogs together all day long. It ends up that his friend took his dog as they had made prior arrangements. But it’s so sad when people pass away and their beloved pets end up being put God knows where. Whenever I see an old dog in a shelter that’s all I can think about. They lost their savior human and now they’re in a lonely and stressful environment where nobody wants them -- especially if they’re old.
Breaks my heart
True story: I was sitting in my fathers gazebo with a group of friends drinking and smoking weed one night. Something crawled up my leg and I assumed I was hallucinating but nope there was sitting a adorable ferret looking me straight in the eyes. I asked my friend saw it too and started petting it. Good thing it was real! We kept it in the house for a short while but my father said we could not keep it because they stink. So, inevitably we gave it away. We never knew where the goddamn thing came from. It’s not the type of animal that lives indigenously in central Massachusetts.
Oh man that would freak me out if I didn’t see it coming. Yeah like all those invasive pythons in Florida eating cats and dogs! All from people realizing they don’t want to take care of a snake any more and letting it go. Whoops! Maybe ferrets are next.
This was about 20 years ago. And I haven’t seen one since.
Those folks who adopt old dogs so that their final years are filled with love and attention are angels.
You know, I heard that the goldfish is the happiest animal on earth because its memory only lasts ten seconds. Which leads me to a selfish unrelated question.
Can you give some insight on how to go about coming up with a transitionary device/phrase similar to “Jump to…” in Invisible Monsters? I really like that concept and need something like that for a story where I’m jumping back and forth a lot between timelines. It also feels like it works as a sort of chorus in some ways too, although “Sorry Mom. Sorry God.” is the true chorus I assume.
The problem is that there are only so many ways I can think of to say -- fast forward, rewind, etc. I’ve been looking at both Invisible Monsters and Slaughterhouse-Five for insights on this. You of course have the repeated phrase, which I like and would like to coin one of my own. Vonnegut seems to be less upfront about it. Instead of saying “now we’re going here” he’ll be telling about Billy Pilgrim getting his photo taken as a war prisoner and then all the sudden transition to him being back in the dentists office via becoming “unstuck” in time.
So, while I love what Vonnegut does with that, I don’t think that is going to work for the story I’m writing. I need something that is simple and on point and isn’t a major distraction. Something easy to digest and easy to remember and recognize as a pattern. I know this might be an odd question to take, but if you have any words of advice that would be stellar! In other words, if you had to come up with a new transitory phrase for a different book how would you come up with it?
Ha dentist’s office. Correction: Optometrist office.
What about a camera shutter? No idea how to verbalize that.
Hah! Every optometrist: "Which is more clear? This? Or This? Now, this? Or this?
Imagine asking that all day for the rest of your life?
No, literature is where life actually works out.
Fast transmission, teleport, Im just spitballing
Thanks! Sometimes you hit brick walls on the simplest thing.
I know the feeling, and I dont know why both suggestions came from comic book knowledge.
Hello Matt -- Consider that a chorus is also a pacing device, something to keep important things from butting together. Often a bit of onomatopoeia works, like the bird's song in 'Slaughterhouse 5.' Or the two-word 'flash-pow' combinations I use in 'Pygmy.' Or the 'Flash' from 'Invisible Monsters.' It's why we (usually men, my female friends say) put sounds effects into the stories we tell aloud. Beside that, consider using the imperative mood, for instance 'Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism' or 'Fight Club's' chorus of 'Deliver me from clever art.' That sudden shift to second-person imperative (instructional or ordering language) gives a good contrast to the narrative it's interrupting.
Besides that, find a chorus that's organic to your narrator's field of knowledge. In 'Survivor' it's 'Testing, testing, one, two, three' because he's using a recording device. Once you find a simple, natural chorus that's in-keeping with your narrator, stick with it but change it up slightly each time you use it.
Bang. Thanks a ton!
Chuck, every prompt so far has resulted in me basing a story on something that happened when I worked at a funeral home. Not sure what that says about me but I’m sure it says something.
Okay, now you've got to send a link so we can read one!
I will put out a call for links tonight. That way I'll have a centralized place to find them. If I'd like to use one for teaching purposes I'll check with the author.
Wonderful. I’ve been waiting for this. I’ll be sending mine asap. Really looking forward to your feedback if you choose to give any. At the same time, I’m sure you’ll have a lot of stories to look at.
I am working on revisions for one tonight and will have a link to post next week.
My date had the most amazing fish tank. His fish tank housed two large piranha and one large gold fish. I watch as both piranha would swim near the little castle aquarium. If the piranhas got too close to the gold fish's castle territory they got a hard wack in the gills by Mr. Goldfish. Both piranha would back off quick without a fight. I was floored. Apparently my date bought the gold fish and piranha from the same tank at the local pet shop. The piranha were fed gold fish daily. My date claimed that the pet shop tank held at least 50 large piranha and for some reason this lone gold fish was not eaten and he also ruled the roost at the pet shop too. My date added eel, puffer, and other varieties of fish. No go. Hours after he would add the additions the piranha would leave NOTHING behind. Mr. Goldfish was always there though. Guarding his little castle. I'll always remember that strange little family. lol
What a badass gold fish!!!!! We had a little bass we caught in college and threw into a tank. We called him Bruce the bass and he would eat ANYTHING. I lived in a large run down house that had about 20 people in it. There were mice. So we set up glue traps and we’d throw the mice in for Bruce. Bass LOVE mice. We also caught a walleye, which is super rare to catch in Kansas since our streams are too hot. We put him in the tank and were really excited. We looked forward to watching the walleye and Bruce the Bass grow up together. But before we could name the walleye Bruce ate it.
OOOh! That is bad ass! I love it!
Going fishing to catch dinner with house mice. Now that's country livin'! Cheers! I grew up in Tennessee.
Oh nice! I have family in Lexington. I love Tennessee. My God it’s gorgeous. Much better than Kansas. Too flat!
If you say so...I hear Kansas City is quite lovely. And my most favorite book of all time starts with "The village of Holcomb stands on the high wheat plans of western Kansas, a lonesome area that other Kansans call 'out there. '"
Yes, KC is great -- which is where I’m at. And I do love Missouri. Gotta love In Cold Blood. Can’t go wrong with that one.
That is really cool.
The whole experience happened within seconds but the experience was something I will never forget. I woke up to the feeling of my bed shaking violently. Something large was jumping up and down on the edge of my bed. As I woke up to this feeling I hear a thump go from my bed and then hit my closet wall about three feet away.
I live alone.
I open my eyes.
“Was that a dream?”
“That did not happen! Did it?”
I gather my senses and turn on my bedroom lights. At three in the morning I turn around to see both of my cats on my bed. Their eyes huge and wide. Both with hair on end and reared up and staring into the closet. They were terrified but ready to charge. My little Munchie charged into the tiny closet to look around but we found nothing. My cats were my only witnesses and they were my little angels that night.
What you describe is very, very common in accounts of how demonic possession begins. Don't shoot the messenger.
Well I was raised in the south so hopefully my clean, Southern charm will smooth over any of my spontaneous split pea projectile vomiting and head spinning antics. ;/
“And the animals I've trapped
Have all become my pets
And I'm living off of grass
And the drippings from my ceiling
It's okay to eat fish
Cause they don't have any feelings
Something in the way”
Unrelated but reminded me of Something in The Way by Nirvana
This definitely feels like a coincidence. I came up with a little story the other day that’s about a couple cute fluffy cats and the one that is the fluffiest and most innocent looking turns out to be the bad guy… He’s a thief and always stealing food from the other meowzers… But he looks so innocent.
Definitely worth checking out the comic book Stray Dogs!
My radioactive counter story was awful. Oooooh. I just came up with a great idea for this. Mooch has seen some shit.
There's an episode of black mirror where memories are extracted to solve crimes and press charges and a guinea pig turns out to be the key witness all because they were overlooked when the killer was covering their tracks.
I LOVE Black Mirror. And I remember this episode!! :)
Make that loveLoveloveLovelove...
I love you (but seriously not anything like that)
I signed up cuz I need to put my true story into fiction to avoid as many lawsuits as possible because I have plans to do great things that are bigger and weirder than me...... And I needed to wrap my story into another story, creatively, and that's it.
Since I started, not only have I developed skills that I thought I'd never need but here's this.......I can now look back to all my favorite stories along the way and I feel like I've been let in on that huge secret that's really been sitting there all along.....
Now I've been swilling thoughts in my head. I think I've really got this......know how I know? For the very first time in my life I'm starting something so crazy but I'm not nervous at all.
Thank you, and you and you and everyone who made all this possible. I really just want to save animals and this is all I can think of......... putting my nasty business out there.......I was hungover and tried to sleep through Field of Dreams as a teenager but I still hear "If you build it they will come".
I used to think I was in fact crazy........but now I wonder? Why is it crazy to have ever wanted to be a good person? Imagine the satisfaction, after being socially persecuted for having 5 rescue dogs and 22 wooded acres in Connecticut, when I do complete what I plan to build? Watch out haters o' mine. Shits bout to get liquified!!!!!!
Ty. I'm literally shitting giggles these days....
Did you hit on the right voice? Once you shift to someone else's voice, the crazy goes on the page so easily. Like automatic writing.
After your reply to me about burnt tongue (I think it was on The Mercurian post) I made so many subtle changes to the voicing of my character. The difference is night and day and words flow onto the page now. Now I think of it more as doing an impression of someone than writing. At least that’s what it feels like. There is so much less thinking involved now. Having the voice has made things much easier.
That's why you get paid the big bucks don't you. I just sat there and realized I was about to make a huge time consuming mistake.......... .I'm packing up today deciding what to take...........perfect time for some procrastithunking.......but I think I figured that out while writing this......I'm giving mindself mindfuck now ........ty ty ty
You guys fucking see that? No, it wasn't the heavens parting at all but another genius having an an epiphany.
The voice! I'm going to loosely base it on someone in my life and someone on one of my favorite books (not any of yours) and not a main character at all. I tell you my jaw literally dropped when I got the idea. I'm not saying more cuz you are another February Pisces and it will be the hardest thing I've ever done is not share my enthusiasm about this...........
A couple of days away ..... April 1.............
What if you substituted a live animal with a stuffed animal? It’ll still have the aura of innocence that can be polluted by evil and can pass through multiple hands. What if you tell a story through the eyes of an inmate stuffed teddy bear that is witness to (many) unpleasant things, describing the events in a detached first person like someone who is emotionless and without an actual physical presence — like a camera on a tripod. Then, what if you reveal that the teddy bear is actually one of those spy cameras and that everything that’s been described has been recorded by its camera eyes?
Imagine giving your kid a stuffed animal only to discover later through the footage it recorded with it’s eyes that it was in the presence of something extremely evil. This thing that they snuggle with at night, it was once all but 10 feet away from something atrocious. Maybe when you watch the recording you see some blood hit the lens, so you look at the eye/camera on the stuffed animal and sure enough — a smudge.
Hmmmm... be careful of the security camera POV trope. Paranormal Phenomena ran that into the ground.
Noted. The setup would probably work better not as a POV device but if one had a character (say a parent) react to the discovery of the footage.
P.S. anyone ever seen ‘Grave Encounters’? A decent found-footage paranormal movie.
The best alternate version would have been if Chuck's voice had come over the airplane sound system and he began reading Guts or other riveting stories. The passengers wouldn't even want to deplane when they reached their destination.
There's always a next time. ;)
That's what those little bags in the seat pocket are for. Do they still put barf bags on planes? That seems to quaint.
I thought the bags are for the goldfish! ;)
You probably heard all kinds of stories about what "meshugas" (mischief) people got up to with those bags! ;)
PS I'm no paramedic, but isn't that what the oxygen masks are for? (to revive people who faint during shocking stories)
And the real reason for the goldfish bowls: So the businessmen (and their guests) will be able to explain away "that fishy smell."