100 Comments
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Craig Father Of Kittens's avatar

You never know when life experience will kick in and help you out.

Here’s hoping I can still put together a masterpiece even though I’m a decade late...

Matt Andersen's avatar

I’ve seen it with my own eyes

Craig Father Of Kittens's avatar

Now you’re either talking about your own works in progress, or buttering me up

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

I've always found that it's less likely someone will get the masterpiece before 31. After 31 it's always possible, but before it's tough.

Craig Father Of Kittens's avatar

Well I’ve got a few witnesses who can vouch for my stubbornness

DeepArcher's avatar

Was Wallace 33 during I J?

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

DFW and I share the same birthday 2/21/62 so he was about that age.

Ian Armitage Matson's avatar

I’m coming up on my 31st bday this month! Hot diggity!

Nathan Slake's avatar

I'm coming in nine years too late, but here's to those legs!

Rob Armstrong's avatar

Almost like the buddhist idea of letting go. don’t think too much; just write.

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

It's thinking, but not with your brain-brains. Right?

Jake Gardner's avatar

Thanks, Chuck. I’m the old guy with lots of life experience still trying to hone that storytelling skill. But I’m not giving up. I enjoy it too much. I enjoy it more every time I learn and implement new knowledge and techniques. Thank you for that, too.

Colton Merris's avatar

Grass is always greener. As a workshop baby, most of my writing problems involve spinning around in my chair wondering, "What am I going to write about?"

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

You and Sunshine are my poster children for Tons of Skill But Still Need Life writers.

Jake Gardner's avatar

You’re a killer, homey. Your insight and skill bely your years. You got this.

Krissy Eliot's avatar

I've got the cure. Get a sex column, Colton. Take two fingers in the ass and call me in the morning.

Joe G's avatar

If Krissy says it, you gotta do it. Notice she didn't specify whose fingers. So a friend could help. A very special friend.

John Raisor's avatar

Hoping to have hit the tail end of the median. Nearly 40.

Also, I know its hard, but please don't minimize your intelligence. Anyone who has a problem with it wasn't going to be into whatever you had to say either way. I think Im more telling this to myself. Being agreeable, and likeable is a curse at times.

Craig Father Of Kittens's avatar

I’d say that being too agreeable can be problematic, but I’m usually too socially clueless to be agreeable on purpose.

John Raisor's avatar

Its a problem for me sometimes.

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

Secretly I thrilled when really gifted people give up. Who needs the competition?

DeepArcher's avatar

You're as bad as that quote by Gore Vidal. "It's not enough to succeed. You have to see others fail."

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

Wah? In every fail I've seen the person went on to succeed lavishly at another career. It's a not a binary.

DeepArcher's avatar

"Why you gotta go and get all smart on us, Donnie?"

Christopher Cosma's avatar

C'mon, man! Competition makes you stronger..... but you already know that,.. so that means... sarcasm makes me....? Old?

Paul D'Arcy's avatar

“Years ago the writer Doug Coupland told me about a study that supported the theory that the final major development in a human brain occurred around the age of thirty-one.”

There’s a similar study from criminology that pegs the same time frame.

Career criminals have an opportunity to choose the trajectory for the rest of their lives around this time.

Go straight, or stay crooked.

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

I wonder if that's because formal education end a few years earlier. Then it takes people a decade to realize the "rules" are only going to get them so far, at the same time they recognize their mortality.

Paul D'Arcy's avatar

I don't know.

I do know I witnessed it inside.

Even lifers.

They get to that age….and even knowing they're never going home…. it's like a switch.

They just.…turn.

Get involved in all sorts of programs, mentoring the younger guys, trustee status.

I've raised 3 daughters…

Ask any of them— they'll tell you:

“Daddy says no man's worth a damn till he's at least 35…. and even then it's a 50/50 position.”

Paul D'Arcy's avatar

Of course….that’s not true for all of ‘em.

Some guys never straighten themselves out 🙄

Cheap & Crass's avatar

Thank goodness for your writing lessons and homework. I didn't even know I was a writer until I joined this substack group. I know I'm gushing away but golly. Sue me. I just worry about writing when I have to write or my heart isn't in it...what then?

Cheap & Crass's avatar

LOL Im a writer at 41 years old. Hilarious. Nobody clued me in. Dr. Peterson steered me in the right/write direction. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfDOoADCfkg

Joe G's avatar

Jordan talked about a book called A Billion Wicked Thoughts. A book about what kind of porn people search. And he pointed out the top sexiest professions in romance novels: billionaire, doctor, werewolf, vampire, and surgeon, just to name a few. That's one of my favorite Peterson clips.

Cheap & Crass's avatar

LOL. That's freakin' epic! I had such a horrible horrible day. Thank you for putting a smile on my face. Im so upset at the Temple it's hard for me to think right now.

Miguel Santos's avatar

Billionaire, doctor, werewolf, vampire, surgeon and pirate, matey! Argh!

Colton Merris's avatar

Thank god for the caviat at the end about people lacking either experience, or tech skill, can eventually grow.

Right now, at Weiden + Kennedy, I'm one of the older members of my cohort, and somehow they make the difference between 23 and 27 feel like a gulf. Maybe it's just the nature of the internet, and how much more they use it than me. They are technically some of the best makers I've ever met, but there isn't a lot of life insight, and - maybe it's just because the biz is advertising - but some of them only speak in slogans.

With hope and a little bit of juice, fingers crossed I have tree trunks for legs by the fall.

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

No worries. Most of the whiz kids die around 27.

Colton Merris's avatar

Hey Chuck,

What color were Kurt Cobain's eyes?

Blue!

One blue this way, one blue that way.

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

In 1986 that joke was about Christa McAuliffe.

David Something's avatar

I was in 7th grade when the shuttle exploded. I was shocked at how quickly the “What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts” joke came around.

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

"You feed the dog. I'll feed the fishes."

Brandan's avatar

Guess I got a decade to get my shit together. No pressure.

Renee Leonard Kennedy's avatar

This is fantastic. Thanks.

Atticus Blake's avatar

Funny, you’ve triggered a memory that every new position I take as a CNA/PCA always has an inevitable body mechanics quickie class. A couple of hours or so. The class is merely a show so later when you’re injured they can blame you and the insurance won’t pay out. Tough luck. This is because the methods they teach are ineffective at stopping long term damage or preventing any one of us from diving to save a falling patient. The class is usually comprised of people with already spurred bones and worn knees and destroyed spines and pinched static nerves but also new aides and nurses who ignore the warning signs all around them. They don’t bat an eye at the old people who should have retired years ago but grind all day leaning over desks, and pace the halls, and lean over and lift people with brute strength. Kids: You don’t ever want to get punched by a 30 year vet nurse. Candice may have smoked since 1984 and have a hump on her back but she’ll knock you on your ass and type a sonnet nurses note about it. She’ll save your life and whip you into shape to go home safe. That’s her masterpiece. My point being after all that, I agree.

Also, anything I wrote before 31 would make you cry in a corner that I’m your fan.

Jeffrey Owens's avatar

Not to be too much of a hippie-dippy type, as I know this sort of stuff is often frowned upon in more intelligent circles, but thirty years is also roughly the length of Saturn’s orbit around the sun, known as the “Saturn Return”.

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

My first writing teacher, Andrea Carlisle, called it the "Saturn cycle." When I turned 28 she said, "Now everything will start to happen for you."

Jeffrey Owens's avatar

I think we should give more coverage to that 114-118 age group.

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

A job for you. Pace yourself.

Joe G's avatar

Hey, don't put yourself down! This was a treat to read, thank you. At this point, ANYTHING you post is way more precious now.

When a young writer writes about something they don't have much experience in, can they still produce good work? I always have a slight fear of producing something I'm not well-versed in but I try to do the story justice. Ultimately, I feel kinda like a fraud, an imposter. If I'm being honest.

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

A younger writer can write well, but she seldom can write about a wider range of ideas. But technically speaking, young people are wonders. They just need more life.

DeepArcher's avatar

Cheers on the entire body being an aspect of the writing process. I also heard this from Paul Auster. With less examples though. You are King Example. Zizek talks a lot about how philosophical ideas are nothing without an example/joke to back them up. They don't really have a chance to "click" otherwise.

Steve Cardoso's avatar

This took me too long to figure out. No one wants to be lectured, but plenty of people will gladly listen to a story. When you give the idea life through story, people have a chance to engage with it, whereas a naked philosophical idea can too easily fly right past them. Chuck is superb at hammering a point through story, and we’re all better for it.

Chuck Palahniuk's avatar

That's my biggest beef with most web content. I'm looking for a story, but it's opinion right from word one. More reason to have a decent hook at the start.

Logan the Lobotomizer's avatar

Interesting. I never heard of that theory.

Will JS.'s avatar

This is a great post, and actually inspirational to anyone entering or remaining within their thirties that wants to write. Hopefully the skills can still be learnt for those who thought it too late!