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October 2, 2021
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What's so disturbing about simple, delicious doughnuts?? Alors!

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October 2, 2021
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Don't try to assimilate concepts and theories. Sit with them. Over some time they'll work on your perception, and you'll suddenly hear some jargon that is perfect for a story you'd no way to approach.

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founding

I’m on meds after surgery so thank you, Chuck, for spelling all this out so clearly for me, the brain fogged. I am already thinking of places in my projects where I can use vaguer language and force the reader to decide!

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Dude! Brilliantly nerdy. My favorite flavor. ✊🏼👏

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Hey Suzy -- Did you know Tony Bourdain was a Lish student? It's how he broke out as a writer. He's a Minimalist! Was, sadly.

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Makes perfect sense. Hope old Gordon didn’t go too crazy on the guy.

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No way! I love Anthony Bourdain! I've read so much of his stuff and, now you mention the minimalist leanings, I totally get it. Gutted when I heard he'd died. I always wanted to meet him.

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Loads to think about in this one. I really do appreciate this stuff coming so regularly. It's a fantastic feeling being challenged or made to think by someone else every day or so.

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October 2, 2021
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And because he deserves the compliments!!!!!!!!!!!

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October 2, 2021
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Yeah, well... I'm rubber and you're glue.

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October 2, 2021
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Mom is that you?

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"Loads" lol

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I caught that.

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“I am Jack’s memory. I will not allow Jack to forget what he has read. No matter how much it may turn him off of doughnuts...”

Chuck (Mr. Palahniuk), the first thing I ever got published happened last year. It was a short story published under a pseudonym. The story itself is, to some degree, I think, written using some of the technique(s) described above, which I believe I vicariously picked up on through reading your work. Having something published was on my bucket list. I achieved that at 19 and I want to express my gratitude for teaching me to create through your own creations. You and your work has a cemented influence in my life for which I’m grateful.

Also, will this story and the upcoming ones which were too hot for Hollywood see a physical publication one day? I mean, I can’t say I (and I’m assuming others) would be averse to these short stories being collected in a single volume.

“Rejected Offerings” - Stories that’ll make you wish you could rinse your brain out.

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My first few published stories were heavily Chuck-sounding, so much so that I became a bit self-conscious about sounding like an imitation vs. finding my own voice. Back then, I'd been reading and re-reading Chuck's series of craft essays from the old Cult website.

Have you read Consider This or Chuck's collection of craft essays? Not sure if they're still available online, if not, maybe they'll be made available here (?).

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October 2, 2021
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I get it. But I think a counter point is that by reading Chuck's craft essays, you see the magician explaining his trick, so to speak, and so you become more conscious of what exactly he's up to and thus be more conscious of your own processes which may lead to imitation.

Just a thought.

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The nice things is... most readers don't ever recognize the trick. How long have orphan stories been around? Forever. And me revealing that trick won't stop the trick from working for the rest of time.

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I think all of us from the cult & early litreactor sounded like chuck 😁

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Don't worry. In Tom's workshop we all began to sound like Tom. Those who kept evolving mixed Tom's devices with new ones and created their own voices.

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LitReactor still has Chuck's collection of craft essays. You have to subscribe to access them but of course it's well worth it.

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I'd wager that there will be a book-book someday. For now it's a blast just to experiment in the short bursts of short stories. The story is where new voices and devices suddenly emerge. An industry secret: Audio book people are expressly looking for short fiction and novellas. Things that can be read in less than two hours. The podcast model has listeners looking for short audio fiction, and that's now driving the market.

So, stories are not a lost cause. They're getting very hot.

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And congratulation on being published! That is such a good feeling.

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Thank you!

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Where can we find your story? I'd love to read it.

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Thank you, Dan. I’m incredibly humbled by this. As opposed to you purchasing the anthology it’s in, I’d be more than happy to send you a PDF copy of the story. If you contact me at jaybaird161@gmail.com, I’ll reply with the PDF. Thank you again.

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"Oh, Sherman, I will be with you forever, and I will love you forever, only not quite yet."

Brilliant line.

Also, Chuck: Why did you decide to pitch this of all stories for the proposed anthology? I'm guessing one of the other stories you planned to include would have gone over better in the boardroom, no?

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First, there has to be one line that breaks MY heart, and the one you cite is it.

Second, I wanted the platforms to get a clear idea of the places I was headed. We did get start-up money from Apple TV, but by then the anthology series was already dead.

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Chuck: as Greener Pastures was originally planned as a young adult, I'm curious if you read any YA authors to prepare?

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I'm a first-chapter finicky reader. I've read the first chapters of many YA novels, and if that doesn't grab me I bail. I did get through "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" because the book had a jazzy subtext of castration. For example Margaret's father moves them to the suburbs because he wants a lawn he can mow. First time he tries to mow it he cuts off his thumb ( clearly his membrum virile ). Mowing duty passes to "Moose" the subhuman neighborhood animal that Margie has the hots for. Thus her affections begin to migrate from her castrated dad to this lumbering man/animal who's able to perform manual labor. Judy Blume hides her own "doughnuts" and will deny doing so.

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And here was me thinking it was all about boobs and periods...

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Courtney Summers writes some great YA books. And while technically not young adult, Lindsay Hunter's Ugly Girls, and Megan Abbott's Dare Me, and, The Fever could well fit the YA mold. (I really wanted to also add Megan Abbott's The End of Everything to that list as it's my favourite of hers, but perhaps it's a little too dark)

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Whahhhhhhh???????

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Footnote #5 brilliantly explains why Meryl Streep is better in "Death Becomes Her" than in "Devil Something Prada"

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Reading anything, ANYTHING, by Mr. P. makes me feel so energized and powerful, somehow. My boyfriend got back to the place just now and, noting my mood, asked if I banged someone while he was out. Noooo, I was catching up on Plot Spoiler.

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Have I taught you NOTHING!! No tennis match dialog! Never lower the tension. You should've asked your boyfriend, "Why do you ask?' And look away evasively as you do so.

Next time....

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Oh the shame...I DO know better. You DID teach me better. Where's the fun in responding directly when I could demure or leap to a maddeningly different topic?

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founding

After reading both of the stories provided and the writing lesson that followed, I’m pretty sure I will continue to see you as a snipet from a Bugs Bunny cartoon— he’s full frame his hands go up, the sides of his mouth curl into an @ sign, then the ears and eyelids lower just slightly— he lets out an elongated, “Mmmmmm—Cooooould be.”

May you never waiver!

Remember when I mentioned I was in the ER on my birthday? If I told you the real reason— and the whole intact story— you would laugh your donut off. I also can’t look at Sassy’s new toy the same. hahahaaa. (Groan)

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I can't imagine the stones it took to ask what their interpretation of a doughnut was (in this situation at least). The tension just ramping up; the self-doubt of an entire room.

Still: PERFECTLY INNOCENT.

And it still turned out kinda sweet. Who says romance is dead?

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Plausible deniability. Or as Ina would say, "I have excellent blaming skills!"

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founding

I have already used Ina’s comment a few times. Purest laughter!!! I usually have to repeat myself— because it comes across as a WTFDSS!! Hahaa.

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Before October started, an internet friend asked for horror recommendations for his one-a-day themed postings. The one I dredged up from my mind was the French 2003 “High Tension” which I remembered feeling had cheated me when I first saw it. Last night I rewatched it with my teen, a non-binary-identifying (female at birth) who loves practical gore and tasty cinematography. The high and low brow collide quite well in Aja’s tribute to American film. As it’s listed as being NC-17, I wonder if our Yankee entertainment execs would have given it a green light. Although it eventually shows its hand, almost like another favorite’s reveal, there’s still a bit of mystery even after the credits roll.

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Do you want me to have my 11yr old read it to see if he gets traumatized? It’s ok we’re saving up for therapy anyway.

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Hey, I finished the book-book "They Shoot Horses, Don't They." Thank you for giving it to me. The story is radically different than the film, and in this case the film is better. In the book the elderly, sweet 'ol lady who sits ringside -- she gets shot in the head! My admiration for the screenwriter knows no bounds.

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Just now realized that there was a story I was supposed to read. The instructions have been plainly stated in thick letters the whole time and I chose to completely ignore them. My explanation is that, up until now, the bold print has been used in this Substack as repetitive text. Since it’s a magazine formatting gimmick that’s kind of annoying to me and breaks up the regular structure of the text, my brain has been just skipping the bold words for a while and, as a result, I didn’t notice that there was suggested/required reading. I just read it and now some of the comments in this thread make much more sense. I figured that the pastries were anuses, though, because what else would they possibly represent? I’m often tired and often a bit daft, but nowhere near oblivious. Good bonus story, though, now that I’ve read it. Are the bold bits your favorites or does someone else help pick them?

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Rob! The style Gods of Substack recommend using the bold bits as excerpts, but I'll keep experimenting. Ignore them at your own risk.

And how can you look at a sugary, frilly French cruller and think it's an anus? Not to mention one of those pillowy, swollen Krispy Kremes. Yum! And those slightly crunchy buttermilk old fashioned doughnuts. Nothing at all anus-like about them!

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That Derrida one is a lot like life; expectations meeting reality. Nice to get a detailed behind the scenes.

These tips are super useful. Also: my friend and I are doing a writing challenge. We amended the rules a little 500-1000 words for 31 days on the theme. Relating to the Greener Pastures manifesto JUST FUCKING WRITE it's a really good prompt. Not being able to ache over every line of prose because work or no work you have to get those words in; will have you writing faster and better in 3 days. And it gets easier to conjure ideas and problem solve the more you do it. I'd advise anyone who struggles to write regularly to jump on it or one that suits your tastes

https://twitter.com/Olovia/status/1440025951887400969

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