The next page will ask for your address, so it’s probably better if you’re a Texas resident… but even if you’re not I’m sure a letter along the lines of “as a fellow Palahniuk fan I wanted to express my support for…”
I just figured if it all funneled into the same category all of a sudden they may notice the large influx of emails they're about to get on the matter.
The mention of goats has me listening to Lullaby again. The spooky houses for sale reminds me of a story I heard at the new job. We were walking to a site within the newly built court house. I was told the old court house had a gallows in the upstairs from back in the day, and they tore down the building. They covered the spot with sidewalks and a miniature park. Were trying to bury the stories? My knee jerk reaction was to gasp when I heard the word gallows. I need to look up the history of the place. See if there is any good local local lore or ghost stories.
It always spooked me, the idea of being a realtor and meeting strangers in empty houses. I've talked to agents about this, and that seems to be a fear they must live with: Plus being alone at 'Open Houses' when there are no other would-be buyers and one sketchy person walks in and wants a tour. Or, just being alone in certain houses. Most realtors know of places that seem beautiful but are always coming back on the market because something unpleasant keeps anyone from living there very long.
As a proud owner of said screaming goat, he's right on the money. Whenever the stress builds, you just press this thing and it'll do the screaming for you.
That is awesome. lol! We like to hide in weird places in the house and jump out to scare each other for a good laugh. I think the goat will add a whole new level to the game.
Hello Kerri. Your bowling alley sounds much like a homeless shelter where I used to volunteer. The different subcultures of people who'd group together. Among my favorite tables to serve at breakfast was the trans or cross dressing homeless who seemed like troubled Las Vegas showgirls who'd been up all night.
You have got to tell me where you got the screaming goat, I beg you! I need to pick one up for my children. They're 3 and 10 and obsessed with goats (and the game goat simulator.) This sounds like a perfect Easter basket gift! I mean, what fertility diety/bastardized Christian celebration doesn't supply children with screaming goats? I must know! Please :)
My mom told me that censors just tell others what they can and can’t say because they feel an insatiable desire to mask their baby-dick syndrome. I should know, we can smell our own. On a related note, I’m gonna need y’all to cool it with all the profanity. There are children that can probably read this. For fucks sake.
I never heard about the ramen, it’s sounding better and better, this jail. If you like Thai food, the next time you take ambien, if you put in peanut butter and a little saracha, the ramen changes to Pad Thai somewhat.
I like the cups of ramen that say "Very Veggie." They contain a full serving of veggies! So reading that on a package makes me feel less guilty about putting those noodles in my body.
This (sort of) leads me to a question I had actually......
To what extent should someone write 'for' an audience? Especially in these times we hear so much about what authors 'should' or 'shouldn't' do (something that seems particularly prominent now with the "straight actors shouldn't play gay characters" view and the "you need lived experience of something to write about it" attitude.
My natural inclination would be to write whatever I damn well choose......but with an industry seemingly almost hellbent on adhering to these perceived new rules of social behaviour, does a level of practicality have to kick in in order to obtain any sort of audience and appease the gatekeepers?
It's something that bothers me a lot with my writing as I let others read my work and often get "yeah, I like it, but there's no audience whatsoever for this sort of thing".
Honestly, I'm on your side. We've a long history of everyone writing as anyone. Mary Renault, much? So why toss that tradition? That said, I do have enlightened friends who cited something like "own voice" and suggest people only write character the writer has the personal experience of being. This rule would pretty much wipe out all science fiction and fantasy since few among us have been to Mars or Middle Earth.
Agreed. Nothing would be written if we had only had experience of it. Lolita? Forget it!
I am hearing though, albeit fairly anecdotally, that this attitude has taken hold at publishing houses quite strongly.....which creates the conundrum of whether to pander to it in some way to 'get inside the gates'. Like the Trojan horse.
Agreed. Among my friends in publishing, many are retiring to sidestep the turmoil.
In defense of writing as the 'other' it does force the writer to examine a world and try to better understand another person's point of view. Still, my default will always be to drive a story with verbs because most anyone can relate to action and gesture. Verbs don't exclude most readers.
That's sad to hear. I don't like the thought of anyone being driven out of a creative industry.
Writers, in my view, are as much observers as they are creators. If society as a whole did a bit more observing and understanding other's points of view we'd all be in a better place, and writing should always be a safe refuge for that to happen. In my humble opinion anyway.
It also feels that people are almost eager to be excluded, so will probably look at verbs and find a way anyway. I'm from a big family and there would always be an 'enemy'- one of my siblings who the others all currently had a feud with. The enemy wold rotate of course, but it seemed everyone needed that to unite them. Feeling excluded or incensed by writing maybe unites people together a bit.
The damage though seems to be that 'safe' writing is usually absolutely tediously dull. I keep thinking about your story of the teenager you saw at the gas station reading your book. I'd wager if he was asked why he was reading it he would have said "because it's an interesting story" primarily. Paying attention to anything other than that seems nonsensical to me.
Books banned in prisons is high praise. All books of an author being allowed to reach anyone, is a warning that what's being conveyed in the work might be dishonest.
Silver lining to the situation—the Streisand effect. China’s “contribution” got people talking about ‘Fight Club’ and I’ll definitely bet that overall interest and consumption of the book and film rose quite a bit. Also take for instance how at a school recently they banned ‘Maus’ and the controversy around that shot ‘Maus’ up to no. 1 on Amazon books. Censorship can have the tendency to backfire significantly and when it does—c’est magnifique!
Looks like I won't be getting the chocolates. Sigh. But...Chuck has started something really valuable for writers. If he can gather all the phrases to replace thought verbs, I think all our fiction will elevate. So chocolates or not, we're all getting an even better prize. At least that's how I think about it.
Spot on Joseph. You know there are times when you think a moment is a 'game' changer? Well, those replies ( Library) opened my eyes. It made me think oh, atleast now I know what I need to do to improve, cause before I had no clue.. pushing forward to being one percent less shity as a writer than I was yesterday. Truly everybody wins.
Hi Joseph, we're all here to live and learn, as they say.
Chuck also said there are over 20 prizes up for grabs. It's not over yet! You still have a chance!! The head honcho himself urged me to go for the gold, so I'm more than pleased to acquiesce. This may be my 15 minutes of fame haha
We still have 3 more days (or 2? not clear when he's going to read it on the 10th).
You can do it!!
I'm fine but falling a little behind on my work so I'm ratcheting down the effort here somewhat ;)
It's very heartwarming how supportive everyone is on here. Very inspirational.
I see there's now 700+. My Thursday night at Study Hall is going to be hours of combing through them. But what a great resource that will be for writers who want to avoid abstracts.
Good news: Due to what I'm sure is a technical glitch, some people's posts appear twice. Glad you have a plan. See you Thursday! (or you'll be seeing me in "a few" of the entries ;).
To situate the story in your world, think of Choke. I didn’t enter the contest to win prizes for *me.* First, I threw myself into it wholeheartedly to thank you for your “pep talk.” Then, as a win loomed, I started thinking about what I should do with the prizes (and, of course, help you save on postage expenses ;)).
It was not my intention at all to belittle your extremely generous offerings. Au contraire. And I already made a collage of your moving (and hysteria inducing) replies to my posts and especially the mention in the announcement of the win. Those words will uplift me possibly forever.
Andra is a dear chosen sister who bravely endured my rants about the first gift box you sent me (2005) and the Kansas City reading a year later. Not to put too fine a point on it, but she’s not a picture of health these days, and the picture is inexorably fading to black. I gave her the necklace you made (to share all those positive feelings and energy) when she sprung a surprise visit to these parts around Christmas. Now you gave me this precious opportunity to do something else to show how her much she means to me. In fact, she wrote me this morning to express her deep appreciation for that gesture.
Like some of my role models. I strongly believe in expressing affection through gifts. I learned that custom when I lived in a Malian village for 3 months. People gladly gave you anything they had.
As for the book, I understood from the contest rules that not everyone would get an inscribed one. I thought of Sharon, who had very kindly forwarded me the bookmark, but that did not pan out. That left Andra’s 5-year-old son (or imposing on you unreasonably by insisting that you mail things to 2 different addresses). I gave Dennis Andra's son's name and instructions about the book, but whatever you chose to do is perfect.
WAY TOO LONG POSTSCRIPT EXPLANATION
It’s not as if I will keep deflecting every prize or present. Those things you offered me about 1 month ago (e.g. rhymes with reckless and fertile), I would gladly accept with deep appreciation. But there is something funny and subversive about it being almost “gauche” to accept one’s own prize. ;)
Does it count as regifting if you never received it in the first place?
I can give you my address, phone number, etc. any time. I believe you have my email address (via Dennis).
Regarding the chocolates, you’ve seen me at different weights. These days I’m tending more toward the protagonist of Invisible Monsters, and would prefer not to metamorphose into Madison (Damned). I’m within 10 lbs of when we took “our” wedding picture together in Montreal (and I gave you the wedding invitation).
And since it’s Valentine’s Day, I cannot go without saying Nga Mafini (in the most obscure language in which I have ever learned this phrase haha). Ich Liebe Du, Liebste Chuck.
I learned those German phrases (33 in all, in ‘08 when I got to know mein bruderherz Oli Schroer (yeah him again haha) for the last 6 months of his life. The fact that your birthday (you can expect something… a gift for the man to whom you can’t send anything) falls on Family Day, i.e. the first day I met Oli in person in Toronto, is not lost on me. You happened to write your query on another “character’s” (Howard) birthday, yesterday, which is also the day I first told Oli I love him. So thanks for horning in on that action! Haha It was also my monthly birthday (mine is 2 months from now).
Now you know how I come up with all these strange jokes and ideas. Oli didn’t call me “wacko” for nothing.
Hugs!!! Soon I'll have to hit you up for Ambien because I'm having a little trouble sleeping with all this overexcitement!
PS Jan is a Farsi term of endearment. Kuya is Tagalog for older brother, as is Beli (Balinese)
You might be asking too much of the zodiac killer, but we shall see.
Pppbbtht!!! Ha!! Good one!!!
I'm still boycotting the Olympics.
You are not your mangled edit.
https://www.cruz.senate.gov/contact/write-ted
Last time, I left a voicemail for his North Texas office and tweeted at him. Join me! Civic engagement!
Which issue shall we put it under in the menu? I'll share this with everyone.
Prison reading material policy isn’t an option so I’m choosing “government regulations” - but I don’t know that it matters
The next page will ask for your address, so it’s probably better if you’re a Texas resident… but even if you’re not I’m sure a letter along the lines of “as a fellow Palahniuk fan I wanted to express my support for…”
I just figured if it all funneled into the same category all of a sudden they may notice the large influx of emails they're about to get on the matter.
Smart. Thinking it over, I’m going to write a sincere letter and select CRIME. Seems best fit.
Thank you for the wonderful photos! The three dogs asleep in the chair is my favorite.
Looks like you can write and call Ted's office. Maybe it is time to give him a ring? https://www.cruz.senate.gov/contact
Don't tell your son, but he's getting a screaming goat. You'll love how it screams all day.
Your secret is safe with me! Lucius is 7, so he enjoys anything that makes a lot of noise. lol He will be thrilled to be included! Thank you!
The mention of goats has me listening to Lullaby again. The spooky houses for sale reminds me of a story I heard at the new job. We were walking to a site within the newly built court house. I was told the old court house had a gallows in the upstairs from back in the day, and they tore down the building. They covered the spot with sidewalks and a miniature park. Were trying to bury the stories? My knee jerk reaction was to gasp when I heard the word gallows. I need to look up the history of the place. See if there is any good local local lore or ghost stories.
It always spooked me, the idea of being a realtor and meeting strangers in empty houses. I've talked to agents about this, and that seems to be a fear they must live with: Plus being alone at 'Open Houses' when there are no other would-be buyers and one sketchy person walks in and wants a tour. Or, just being alone in certain houses. Most realtors know of places that seem beautiful but are always coming back on the market because something unpleasant keeps anyone from living there very long.
As a proud owner of said screaming goat, he's right on the money. Whenever the stress builds, you just press this thing and it'll do the screaming for you.
That is awesome. lol! We like to hide in weird places in the house and jump out to scare each other for a good laugh. I think the goat will add a whole new level to the game.
I love it! You guys sound like a lot of fun!!!
We are always goofing around. Gotta enjoy those little moments in life. Keeps me going. : )
Hello Kerri. Your bowling alley sounds much like a homeless shelter where I used to volunteer. The different subcultures of people who'd group together. Among my favorite tables to serve at breakfast was the trans or cross dressing homeless who seemed like troubled Las Vegas showgirls who'd been up all night.
You have got to tell me where you got the screaming goat, I beg you! I need to pick one up for my children. They're 3 and 10 and obsessed with goats (and the game goat simulator.) This sounds like a perfect Easter basket gift! I mean, what fertility diety/bastardized Christian celebration doesn't supply children with screaming goats? I must know! Please :)
It's from your neck of the woods. The Archie McFee people in Seattle.
My mom told me that censors just tell others what they can and can’t say because they feel an insatiable desire to mask their baby-dick syndrome. I should know, we can smell our own. On a related note, I’m gonna need y’all to cool it with all the profanity. There are children that can probably read this. For fucks sake.
Grow up
I know, I know. I've tried to not swear. It just feels so coy to write s--t and f--k.
Ted Cruz's career peaked when he played Grandpa Munster.
It's been downhill for him ever since.
Hahaha. Yaaaay for canceling China’s cancel culture!
Have you guys all seen the satire gem of Ted Cruz as an alien pretending to be a human?
https://www.tedcruzforhumanpresident.com/
Hahaha!! That’s some most excellent fodder.
What if the Chinese censors didn’t cave to pressure, but they instead just saw an opportunity to make Cruz look bad?
This is a landmark in literature history, I hope you get to go to jail, to teach!
Wait, did I say 'teach'? Just want to color in coloring books and lift weights and carve chess sets.
Speaking of coloring, I took an apricot Crayola crayon to your face on the card you sent me, Chuck! Haha!
Apricot?
Yeah, the color of an apricot. Peach-colored. It was from a box of 12 crayons and it was the closet to your actual skin lol
"Closet" is that a Freudian slip?
Oh shit...hahaha! You got me. I guess your lessons on misspellings and getting things wrong are working too well.
Hey fair enough. And all your meals will be made for you and you get to have 3 notebooks at a time and a pencil.
A fair number of readers tell me that life in prison includes vast amounts of top ramen. I love top ramen. It's my Ambien-binge go-to food.
I never heard about the ramen, it’s sounding better and better, this jail. If you like Thai food, the next time you take ambien, if you put in peanut butter and a little saracha, the ramen changes to Pad Thai somewhat.
I like the cups of ramen that say "Very Veggie." They contain a full serving of veggies! So reading that on a package makes me feel less guilty about putting those noodles in my body.
This (sort of) leads me to a question I had actually......
To what extent should someone write 'for' an audience? Especially in these times we hear so much about what authors 'should' or 'shouldn't' do (something that seems particularly prominent now with the "straight actors shouldn't play gay characters" view and the "you need lived experience of something to write about it" attitude.
My natural inclination would be to write whatever I damn well choose......but with an industry seemingly almost hellbent on adhering to these perceived new rules of social behaviour, does a level of practicality have to kick in in order to obtain any sort of audience and appease the gatekeepers?
It's something that bothers me a lot with my writing as I let others read my work and often get "yeah, I like it, but there's no audience whatsoever for this sort of thing".
Honestly, I'm on your side. We've a long history of everyone writing as anyone. Mary Renault, much? So why toss that tradition? That said, I do have enlightened friends who cited something like "own voice" and suggest people only write character the writer has the personal experience of being. This rule would pretty much wipe out all science fiction and fantasy since few among us have been to Mars or Middle Earth.
Agreed. Nothing would be written if we had only had experience of it. Lolita? Forget it!
I am hearing though, albeit fairly anecdotally, that this attitude has taken hold at publishing houses quite strongly.....which creates the conundrum of whether to pander to it in some way to 'get inside the gates'. Like the Trojan horse.
Agreed. Among my friends in publishing, many are retiring to sidestep the turmoil.
In defense of writing as the 'other' it does force the writer to examine a world and try to better understand another person's point of view. Still, my default will always be to drive a story with verbs because most anyone can relate to action and gesture. Verbs don't exclude most readers.
That's sad to hear. I don't like the thought of anyone being driven out of a creative industry.
Writers, in my view, are as much observers as they are creators. If society as a whole did a bit more observing and understanding other's points of view we'd all be in a better place, and writing should always be a safe refuge for that to happen. In my humble opinion anyway.
It also feels that people are almost eager to be excluded, so will probably look at verbs and find a way anyway. I'm from a big family and there would always be an 'enemy'- one of my siblings who the others all currently had a feud with. The enemy wold rotate of course, but it seemed everyone needed that to unite them. Feeling excluded or incensed by writing maybe unites people together a bit.
The damage though seems to be that 'safe' writing is usually absolutely tediously dull. I keep thinking about your story of the teenager you saw at the gas station reading your book. I'd wager if he was asked why he was reading it he would have said "because it's an interesting story" primarily. Paying attention to anything other than that seems nonsensical to me.
Big question is: Would you fight Ted Cruz?
And - Did Putin sing a long to Lennon's Imagine under the opening of the Winter Olympics in Beijing?
I'm holding out for Beto. In a pit. Partially filled with baby oil.
Brutal!
Yeah, that Cruz fight would have been boring anyway. Glad we cancelled that.
1. Love the subtext on that Kidman quote you threw our way: He's a hobbit.
👊💥😂
Yeah, that Kidman quote was a zinger.
Books banned in prisons is high praise. All books of an author being allowed to reach anyone, is a warning that what's being conveyed in the work might be dishonest.
Been planning to read Adjustment Day, once I finish a few I'm currently reading. Might aswell read it simultaneously with The Turner Diaries.
Thanks for your recommendations.
Silver lining to the situation—the Streisand effect. China’s “contribution” got people talking about ‘Fight Club’ and I’ll definitely bet that overall interest and consumption of the book and film rose quite a bit. Also take for instance how at a school recently they banned ‘Maus’ and the controversy around that shot ‘Maus’ up to no. 1 on Amazon books. Censorship can have the tendency to backfire significantly and when it does—c’est magnifique!
Do you know there are well over 500 replies to the contest so far? I'm whistling Dixie.
Looks like I won't be getting the chocolates. Sigh. But...Chuck has started something really valuable for writers. If he can gather all the phrases to replace thought verbs, I think all our fiction will elevate. So chocolates or not, we're all getting an even better prize. At least that's how I think about it.
Hope you're doing well, Karen :D
Spot on Joseph. You know there are times when you think a moment is a 'game' changer? Well, those replies ( Library) opened my eyes. It made me think oh, atleast now I know what I need to do to improve, cause before I had no clue.. pushing forward to being one percent less shity as a writer than I was yesterday. Truly everybody wins.
Hi Joseph, we're all here to live and learn, as they say.
Chuck also said there are over 20 prizes up for grabs. It's not over yet! You still have a chance!! The head honcho himself urged me to go for the gold, so I'm more than pleased to acquiesce. This may be my 15 minutes of fame haha
We still have 3 more days (or 2? not clear when he's going to read it on the 10th).
You can do it!!
I'm fine but falling a little behind on my work so I'm ratcheting down the effort here somewhat ;)
It's very heartwarming how supportive everyone is on here. Very inspirational.
Have a great day!
Hey, you still have two days to submit a good idea.
I see there's now 700+. My Thursday night at Study Hall is going to be hours of combing through them. But what a great resource that will be for writers who want to avoid abstracts.
Good news: Due to what I'm sure is a technical glitch, some people's posts appear twice. Glad you have a plan. See you Thursday! (or you'll be seeing me in "a few" of the entries ;).
People are really lapping up the contest.
"Andra?" Why'd I send to Andra? Explain, please.
Short explanation/TLDR:
I asked you to send the prize to my dear friend Andra and you did. Huge thanks. She deserves it more than I do.
Longer explanation to follow.
Anything for you, Chuck Jan (Happy Valentine's Day!!)
Longer explanation:
To situate the story in your world, think of Choke. I didn’t enter the contest to win prizes for *me.* First, I threw myself into it wholeheartedly to thank you for your “pep talk.” Then, as a win loomed, I started thinking about what I should do with the prizes (and, of course, help you save on postage expenses ;)).
It was not my intention at all to belittle your extremely generous offerings. Au contraire. And I already made a collage of your moving (and hysteria inducing) replies to my posts and especially the mention in the announcement of the win. Those words will uplift me possibly forever.
Andra is a dear chosen sister who bravely endured my rants about the first gift box you sent me (2005) and the Kansas City reading a year later. Not to put too fine a point on it, but she’s not a picture of health these days, and the picture is inexorably fading to black. I gave her the necklace you made (to share all those positive feelings and energy) when she sprung a surprise visit to these parts around Christmas. Now you gave me this precious opportunity to do something else to show how her much she means to me. In fact, she wrote me this morning to express her deep appreciation for that gesture.
Like some of my role models. I strongly believe in expressing affection through gifts. I learned that custom when I lived in a Malian village for 3 months. People gladly gave you anything they had.
As for the book, I understood from the contest rules that not everyone would get an inscribed one. I thought of Sharon, who had very kindly forwarded me the bookmark, but that did not pan out. That left Andra’s 5-year-old son (or imposing on you unreasonably by insisting that you mail things to 2 different addresses). I gave Dennis Andra's son's name and instructions about the book, but whatever you chose to do is perfect.
WAY TOO LONG POSTSCRIPT EXPLANATION
It’s not as if I will keep deflecting every prize or present. Those things you offered me about 1 month ago (e.g. rhymes with reckless and fertile), I would gladly accept with deep appreciation. But there is something funny and subversive about it being almost “gauche” to accept one’s own prize. ;)
Does it count as regifting if you never received it in the first place?
I can give you my address, phone number, etc. any time. I believe you have my email address (via Dennis).
Regarding the chocolates, you’ve seen me at different weights. These days I’m tending more toward the protagonist of Invisible Monsters, and would prefer not to metamorphose into Madison (Damned). I’m within 10 lbs of when we took “our” wedding picture together in Montreal (and I gave you the wedding invitation).
And since it’s Valentine’s Day, I cannot go without saying Nga Mafini (in the most obscure language in which I have ever learned this phrase haha). Ich Liebe Du, Liebste Chuck.
I learned those German phrases (33 in all, in ‘08 when I got to know mein bruderherz Oli Schroer (yeah him again haha) for the last 6 months of his life. The fact that your birthday (you can expect something… a gift for the man to whom you can’t send anything) falls on Family Day, i.e. the first day I met Oli in person in Toronto, is not lost on me. You happened to write your query on another “character’s” (Howard) birthday, yesterday, which is also the day I first told Oli I love him. So thanks for horning in on that action! Haha It was also my monthly birthday (mine is 2 months from now).
Now you know how I come up with all these strange jokes and ideas. Oli didn’t call me “wacko” for nothing.
Hugs!!! Soon I'll have to hit you up for Ambien because I'm having a little trouble sleeping with all this overexcitement!
PS Jan is a Farsi term of endearment. Kuya is Tagalog for older brother, as is Beli (Balinese)
PS If you were really asking about the S/Andra business, I wanted to thinly disguise her name to protect her anonymity. Thanks again!