285 Comments
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Atticus Blake's avatar

This guy looks too much like my grandpa, but I’ll try.

“Could be marriage material.”

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Brandan's avatar

Founder of Reddit

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Tiffany Mathias's avatar

Fuck around and find out

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Comment deleted
Sep 17, 2023
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Tiffany Mathias's avatar

Head East past yellow pub and down the hill to the green church. Knock four times on wooden door.

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Brandan's avatar

Al Kaput

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Atticus Blake's avatar

“Loved his liquid morphine.”

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Andy Cosma's avatar

Gotta love that quicksilver.

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Brandan's avatar

The hat hides the tumor well

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Atticus Blake's avatar

“Smelled like mothballs.”

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Roy's avatar

Dad's "friend" Edgar

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John Raisor's avatar

Wanted: Buggery

Suspect has siamese twin head protruding from scalp, but had cap sewn on permanently.

Wanted for walking with an ice cream cone in his back pocket.

This is a real law. It was a method for stealing horses and saying "It just followed me home."

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Brandan's avatar

Wanted for photographing women’s feet

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Atticus Blake's avatar

Had mirrors on his shoes so he could see up their dresses.

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Jen's avatar

Shined the tops of his shoes a little too well, didn’t he? Lol

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Andy Cosma's avatar

How perverse Lol

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Atticus Blake's avatar

“Uncle touchy.”

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Grubby's avatar

Wanted for the serious crime of DOGMURDER

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Grubby's avatar

Don't ask what he did in the war.

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Brandan's avatar

Till we meet again, Tuts x

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Noah's avatar

“It wasn’t enough. It never is.”

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Nick Michalak's avatar

Never trusted a lizard-lipped man again

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