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I posted this early so I could beat Karen to the first pun: Yes, we drove Rick "Fran-tic." The ball's in your court, Miss Karen...

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Oh aye. Ya evir notice there can be a bit of a, likesay, fine line between doin a pirate voice n a bad scots accent, ken? Some people, man. No self-awareness, likesay.

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A quick primer. I'll award prizes to the three people who can post the best sustained pirate-speak comments. https://www.islands.com/40-useful-pirate-phrases-for-national-talk-like-pirate-day/

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Hey Chuck, could I hazard a guess as to a connection that might be made in 'Fight Club 4' to the first book, or could you alternatively humour me in hearing out the possible connection that could be made?

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And lest ye thinks pirate speak was sexist, I'd wager a guess it was birthed by the Geena Davis film 'Cutthroat Island' in 1995. 'Twas a wench who birthed the trend.

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Whats a pirate's favorite letter?

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I have never heard of this pirate craze at all. I shudder to think what I must have been doing to have lived through this phenomena and remained oblivious.....

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aye aye Sir. Challenge accepted. I post me cracker fetish story on yer last post Mr. Palahniuk. I hope ya enjoy a bounty of laughs Captain.

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Rrrrr ye hearties. We're after the booty in the heart of Davy Jones' locker, aye, but ye may 'ave ta win his heart before ye can 'ave the booty.

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Yo ho ho! Gather round all ye seadogs and scallywags, this old salt has a tale about a hoard of sugary booty! T'was All Hallow's Eve, 1992. I was still but a landlubber, adorned in a pirate costume of plastic so unforgiving it would have made anyone hang the jib. I plundered candy from the shores of a housing division subdivided, partaking in my loot as I went as if it were grog from a wench's bosom. Three sheets to the wind on Goobers and GoGurt, a foul brew blasted from my mouth, drenching my attire. Thar she blows! A kraken's length from home, I had to make the return voyage smelling like the shitter in Davy Jones' Locker. To this day, I cannot cast me eyes upon a box of Goobers without me stomach rolling like a stormy sea.

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Avast ye all as I tell yer me tale of woe! There I was, 'ard at work scribblin' away me thoughts with blackened ink on white parchment. Hour by hour, day by day, an' all the while the seven seas was thrasin' 'n' a lashin' at the side a me ship, makin' it soes a couldnae concentrate! I commanded me crew to sing us a wee shanty--sumthin' to put us in the right frame a mind, aye. Eventually, I had it! A booty a me own makin'! 180 pieces a gold? Nae! 180 pages a ink! I took to the deck to celebrate, to consort with me crew 'n' replenish me insides wi' the warm feelin' a rum. No sooner had a left me cabin when disaster struck! I cruel wind snatched me inked parchment from me grip, scatterin' 'em to the heartless sea! All I could dae was watch as me booty was claimed by Davy Jones. All I could dae was scream, "Ya fucker, ye! Give it back!", as me crew restrained me, dragged me back from the brink. I pray to Posiden every day that he might return me my booty. Ye didnae know pain 'till fate, the cruellest wench of all, decides ta rear 'er foul face to yer.

*Uses hook to wipe away tear*

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Aye Chuck. Might I tell you a tale of a ship rat of a manager me once had? Was back perhaps fifteen voyages ago. Paid me gruel in booty. Me worked selling ale at the bottle store. Of me many duties was loading the barrel of the freezer with bottles for ‘build-yar-own-six-pack’ — a task they’d have ye believe to be privilege! That it was not. The ship rat Jeff had believ’d his efforts be worth more than the crew. Indeed, he snickered remarks behind many a back like a sparrow — always aiming to instigate anger between crew members. But alas I hatched a plan among my matees to turn his face as red as an enemy ship deck. Me crew and I scribed bottle price signs with jokes about the ship rat Jeff and placed them by the dozens all around the store. At first we started slow over weeks of time, hiding them amongst them normal signs. Aye the store was as large as five vessels — the largest bottle store in the Midwest, with plenty of space for sign hiding. The ship rat would find them and interrogate I and me mates. Until one day we filled all signs and shelves with jokes about the ship rat Jeff. He accused myself, rightfully must I say, of the act and reduced my schedule to rubble. Other managers explained to me his anger that he only wielded behind the closed doors of the captain’s office. Yar, indeed it was a good day. And wouldn’t you know two weeks later I’s found me a better voyage with a bounty of much greater loot. And the ship rat Jeff toiled in his misery, never to be seen again.

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Ahoy Chuck, just wanted so say thank you so so much for my prize parcel which arrived today! Its amazing & thoughtful & what I really needed today (had an echocardiogram this morning for a heart issue that was just discovered in January, got to wait up to ten days for the results & diagnosis from it so n all honesty was feeling a bit low )

Tallulah loves her sausage rabbit & little bear. She couldn't wait for me to dust the glitter off them 😁

You Sir are one in a gah-zillion. ❤ yo ho ho!

Also, great post! Strong voices are unforgettable.

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Not good a pirate speak but, Oh Gaaad can do Massachusetts all day fucka!

My fatha and motha down ooon the coona were buyin Dunkin’ Donuts caffee cause it’s winta and fackin cold.

Can you see them in their hoodies now?

This is a regional personality type that pervades and bleeds into RI, CT, VT, ME, and NH and the further you go the more different it gets but still with the same elimination or stretching of R’s and A’s.

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