You know, the similarity of our names might lead someone to think that we might be the same person posting from 2 accounts, but my lips are sealed (hard to grin though while making that expression). Have a great day!
PS You are inspiring me to maybe start my own page on here!
It's all I can do to even *think* about working today (uber overexcitement yesterday), never mind pirate talk. But your curveball post nearly made me as-Pirate my breakfast. Thank ye, land lubber!
Unlike some people, I don't wake up at 6 am to start posting these things. Good thing I have a lifetime supply of Chuck-chkes so I don't need to go out of my way for prizes haha
My prize would be if you would get more than one of my jokes in a row.
And here I didn't even tell you my preferred pronouns ;)(I think I prefer Hit Karen haha)
Some themes ignite my powder keg and some don't (you might have had this experience). Maybe my pirate ship has sailed.
Or I'm too exhausted from the repartee yesterday and from splitting my sides too late in the evening over our PM (leader) possibly donning his blackface makeup (he was caught about 3 times in the act in his university days) when he gave a closing speech at the Black Scientists' Conference today.
PS I prefer the "cannon" ball's in my court, but I'll concede to you, Kuya.
Oli's student is born on speak like a pirate day Sep 19, so thanks for that connection.
Oh aye. Ya evir notice there can be a bit of a, likesay, fine line between doin a pirate voice n a bad scots accent, ken? Some people, man. No self-awareness, likesay.
Hey Chuck, could I hazard a guess as to a connection that might be made in 'Fight Club 4' to the first book, or could you alternatively humour me in hearing out the possible connection that could be made?
Is it how at the house on Paper st if there was a call with no voice, you knew it was for Marla? Is it that but with a connection to certain things that came to light in 'Fight Club 3'?
And lest ye thinks pirate speak was sexist, I'd wager a guess it was birthed by the Geena Davis film 'Cutthroat Island' in 1995. 'Twas a wench who birthed the trend.
Some renaissance fair pirate told me this, and Im sure I butchered it. I ran into the ren faire crew 5 years after I went to their opening weekend and kept yelling FREEDOM like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart during the Scot vs English joust. I told this story to them, 5 years later, and one gal said "Oh my god. Youre the freedom guy." I like being memorable.
Also, thanks for telling me about Jesus' Son. It was amazing. The screaming cotton balls cracked me up.
Back on topic: my martyr is an unstable love interest. Any exercises to getting me to write in her own voice? Should I study the way a female friend speaks in some way?
Arghh! You all be a bunch of land loving scalley wags. I bet ye combined sea counters be less dan a week each for ye land dogs. Every real man worth his salt knows the correct answer be tis the C because we are always longing to be out on her bonny waves.
Pirate hats movin back and forth between C and R amidst this new pirate quandary. "Arrrgggg! Now we must decide between C and Rrrrr." Pirate eyebrows raise. "Can piratezzz have more than one favorite?"
If ye thinks so then maybe you be cracking Jenny's teacup too much and yer fate rests with Davy Jones. Savvy or do ye thinks I am running a rig on you lass?
I have never heard of this pirate craze at all. I shudder to think what I must have been doing to have lived through this phenomena and remained oblivious.....
Thee pirates may still be livin in Portland. Me last visit to those shores during the 2000's led me to pubs of performing pirates still singing their shanties. I wonder if thee singing pirates may be still be around those distant shores.
Aye Aye Captain. Tales from Captain's "Make Something Up" be mighty harrowing indeed. Tales of wasted contestant laid out worse than a sailor who downed the Clap of Thunder. And dear Sour Kraut be way down Davy Jones’ Locker. Ye passage brought a hang of the jib to me face. A tale te keep away from the likes of lads and lassies alike. Ahoy! Do ye laugh or do ye cry as the father watches videos of Red Sultan plundering the booty for hours and hours and there she blows!? Sultan or the lad laid out in the barn? Who's to say. The carouser did have a Yo Ho Ho of an expression to behold on his face. Batten down the hatches, these tales of the Captain are not for ye faint of heart. Scurvy or poetry. I think both Captain. Andy ye tale of Romance. A wench of simple mind take his heart for bounty. She run a rig with great delight. Hoisting her cotton pony with the vigor of a seasoned sea dog hoisting the jolly roger. Hearties, lads, and lassies alike maroon the bus. Abandon ship! Abandon ship!! As the lads abandon ship ye wench laughs and laughs. What a catch. A real bounty to treasure. A real romance story Captain.
Even ye French don't talk about such things Sir. My bounty of tales from me Captain is a booty beyond comparison Captain. One day yer a Chantey an y next ye not. Shiver Me Timbers!
Ahoy. A tale of lads and lassies. Ready to throw all ye cares away with a push of a button. Lads, lassies and landlubbers alike to carry a yo ho ho expression all the days of ye lives. Shiver me timbers! What a delight! "If ye hurt ya self ya hurt me as well ya see." Three sheets to the wind at a push of button. Avast ye! What a tale of great delight Captain! Again Ahoy! A tale of a wee lad. A lad who delights in running a rig at the delight of ye father. The boy found that he was indeed the joke. The lad was the scurvy that delighted his father. Nothing but a a scallywag!
A bounty of tales from the Captain. I hope he finds my Cracker fetish tales as much of a delight as I find me Captain's. A bounty of laughs so I may claim a booty! Do I get a bounty fer me tale Captain? Captain specified a large bounty of words not a word about quality. Have ye seen ye passage in my Urn story Captain? I hope ye enjoys it too Sir...
Yo ho ho! Gather round all ye seadogs and scallywags, this old salt has a tale about a hoard of sugary booty! T'was All Hallow's Eve, 1992. I was still but a landlubber, adorned in a pirate costume of plastic so unforgiving it would have made anyone hang the jib. I plundered candy from the shores of a housing division subdivided, partaking in my loot as I went as if it were grog from a wench's bosom. Three sheets to the wind on Goobers and GoGurt, a foul brew blasted from my mouth, drenching my attire. Thar she blows! A kraken's length from home, I had to make the return voyage smelling like the shitter in Davy Jones' Locker. To this day, I cannot cast me eyes upon a box of Goobers without me stomach rolling like a stormy sea.
Avast ye all as I tell yer me tale of woe! There I was, 'ard at work scribblin' away me thoughts with blackened ink on white parchment. Hour by hour, day by day, an' all the while the seven seas was thrasin' 'n' a lashin' at the side a me ship, makin' it soes a couldnae concentrate! I commanded me crew to sing us a wee shanty--sumthin' to put us in the right frame a mind, aye. Eventually, I had it! A booty a me own makin'! 180 pieces a gold? Nae! 180 pages a ink! I took to the deck to celebrate, to consort with me crew 'n' replenish me insides wi' the warm feelin' a rum. No sooner had a left me cabin when disaster struck! I cruel wind snatched me inked parchment from me grip, scatterin' 'em to the heartless sea! All I could dae was watch as me booty was claimed by Davy Jones. All I could dae was scream, "Ya fucker, ye! Give it back!", as me crew restrained me, dragged me back from the brink. I pray to Posiden every day that he might return me my booty. Ye didnae know pain 'till fate, the cruellest wench of all, decides ta rear 'er foul face to yer.
Aye Chuck. Might I tell you a tale of a ship rat of a manager me once had? Was back perhaps fifteen voyages ago. Paid me gruel in booty. Me worked selling ale at the bottle store. Of me many duties was loading the barrel of the freezer with bottles for ‘build-yar-own-six-pack’ — a task they’d have ye believe to be privilege! That it was not. The ship rat Jeff had believ’d his efforts be worth more than the crew. Indeed, he snickered remarks behind many a back like a sparrow — always aiming to instigate anger between crew members. But alas I hatched a plan among my matees to turn his face as red as an enemy ship deck. Me crew and I scribed bottle price signs with jokes about the ship rat Jeff and placed them by the dozens all around the store. At first we started slow over weeks of time, hiding them amongst them normal signs. Aye the store was as large as five vessels — the largest bottle store in the Midwest, with plenty of space for sign hiding. The ship rat would find them and interrogate I and me mates. Until one day we filled all signs and shelves with jokes about the ship rat Jeff. He accused myself, rightfully must I say, of the act and reduced my schedule to rubble. Other managers explained to me his anger that he only wielded behind the closed doors of the captain’s office. Yar, indeed it was a good day. And wouldn’t you know two weeks later I’s found me a better voyage with a bounty of much greater loot. And the ship rat Jeff toiled in his misery, never to be seen again.
Ahoy Chuck, just wanted so say thank you so so much for my prize parcel which arrived today! Its amazing & thoughtful & what I really needed today (had an echocardiogram this morning for a heart issue that was just discovered in January, got to wait up to ten days for the results & diagnosis from it so n all honesty was feeling a bit low )
Tallulah loves her sausage rabbit & little bear. She couldn't wait for me to dust the glitter off them 😁
You Sir are one in a gah-zillion. ❤ yo ho ho!
Also, great post! Strong voices are unforgettable.
Also I have bought a smallish magnetic board so hope to be creating magnetic poetry very soon! I may even transfer it word by word to the fridge if I'm feeling bold 😀
Not good a pirate speak but, Oh Gaaad can do Massachusetts all day fucka!
My fatha and motha down ooon the coona were buyin Dunkin’ Donuts caffee cause it’s winta and fackin cold.
Can you see them in their hoodies now?
This is a regional personality type that pervades and bleeds into RI, CT, VT, ME, and NH and the further you go the more different it gets but still with the same elimination or stretching of R’s and A’s.
Regional dialect is always fascinating. When I'm back home in Indiana for a prolonged period of time I end up warshing my clothes, re-shingling the ruff, and fishin' in the crick. Don't even get me started on coloring with crans.
In high school I worked at the local hardware store. Guy came in with the thickest Kentucky drawl I'd ever heard. Asked to help him find a "lat for the hinge of the cross swing of his house." I was young, but new every inch of that store and had no idea what he was asking for. So I snaked him down each aisle hoping he'd find it himself. Finally, in Electrical, he stopped and snagged a package from a peg. "Here it is!" he was holding a tiny light bulb. He'd been looking for a "LIGHT for the HOOD of the GAS RANGE of his house."
Tis a fun thread indeed!
I posted this early so I could beat Karen to the first pun: Yes, we drove Rick "Fran-tic." The ball's in your court, Miss Karen...
Okay, Fran-tic should be "Fran-talk."
I like Fran-tic better. If you deign to disagree, see you in Torte!
Karen is frantastic!
Thanks very much!
You know, the similarity of our names might lead someone to think that we might be the same person posting from 2 accounts, but my lips are sealed (hard to grin though while making that expression). Have a great day!
PS You are inspiring me to maybe start my own page on here!
That's hilarious (I said non-ironically, if very sleepily). Meanwhile I was taking the day off. Chuck 1, me 0.
PS Ms. K
PPS OK there's no rule saying the joke has to be on the same topic, right?
Glad your grandfather urged you to seek out Greener Pasteurs1 (we peons don't get superscript)
1 Louis Pasteur is renowned for inventing Pasteurized milk ;)
It's all I can do to even *think* about working today (uber overexcitement yesterday), never mind pirate talk. But your curveball post nearly made me as-Pirate my breakfast. Thank ye, land lubber!
Unlike some people, I don't wake up at 6 am to start posting these things. Good thing I have a lifetime supply of Chuck-chkes so I don't need to go out of my way for prizes haha
My prize would be if you would get more than one of my jokes in a row.
And here I didn't even tell you my preferred pronouns ;)(I think I prefer Hit Karen haha)
Some themes ignite my powder keg and some don't (you might have had this experience). Maybe my pirate ship has sailed.
Or I'm too exhausted from the repartee yesterday and from splitting my sides too late in the evening over our PM (leader) possibly donning his blackface makeup (he was caught about 3 times in the act in his university days) when he gave a closing speech at the Black Scientists' Conference today.
PS I prefer the "cannon" ball's in my court, but I'll concede to you, Kuya.
Oli's student is born on speak like a pirate day Sep 19, so thanks for that connection.
So you do speak Fran-say after all. What's with the Googling then?
Everyone at work went Fran-boy over Rick.
I almost wrote a similar line but I finally admitted I have an overposting problem 😜
I guess I'm an "also-Fran"
Oh aye. Ya evir notice there can be a bit of a, likesay, fine line between doin a pirate voice n a bad scots accent, ken? Some people, man. No self-awareness, likesay.
Okay, Brandan is the man to beat. I suspect he's got a genetic edge on many of us.
Too bad its been 6 months since I read Filth. Entirely written in a cartoonishly thick Scot accent.
A great challenger on these waters. All hands on deck maties!!!
Boots thud across zee ship and mates prepare water canons and shanty music on zee boom box for this here battle of the pirate bardzzz!
A quick primer. I'll award prizes to the three people who can post the best sustained pirate-speak comments. https://www.islands.com/40-useful-pirate-phrases-for-national-talk-like-pirate-day/
A contest ye say....yaaaarg!
Hey Chuck, could I hazard a guess as to a connection that might be made in 'Fight Club 4' to the first book, or could you alternatively humour me in hearing out the possible connection that could be made?
Just so long as you don't ruin the surprise for others, please.
Oooo... does the connection involve Marla and a phone?
In a word... yes.
Is it how at the house on Paper st if there was a call with no voice, you knew it was for Marla? Is it that but with a connection to certain things that came to light in 'Fight Club 3'?
If I'm on spoiler territory with this just give the word and I'll purge the thread.
Maybe it's not in the speaking. Maybe it's in the listening.
And lest ye thinks pirate speak was sexist, I'd wager a guess it was birthed by the Geena Davis film 'Cutthroat Island' in 1995. 'Twas a wench who birthed the trend.
Whats a pirate's favorite letter?
Aye?
This SHOULD be the correct answer, but the punchline is: Q, its like an R but with a peg leg.
Some renaissance fair pirate told me this, and Im sure I butchered it. I ran into the ren faire crew 5 years after I went to their opening weekend and kept yelling FREEDOM like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart during the Scot vs English joust. I told this story to them, 5 years later, and one gal said "Oh my god. Youre the freedom guy." I like being memorable.
Okay, now I have a new way to annoy Irvine Welsh. Thank you.
Read Filth earlier this year. I need to consume more of his work. Recommend anything?
Check out his story collection 'The Acid House.'
Also, thanks for telling me about Jesus' Son. It was amazing. The screaming cotton balls cracked me up.
Back on topic: my martyr is an unstable love interest. Any exercises to getting me to write in her own voice? Should I study the way a female friend speaks in some way?
His book 'Crime' is actually somewhat of a sequel to 'Filth'--Bruce's partner, Ray Lennox, is the main character.
Ooooooh. I wasnt really into filth until he finally explained why Bruce was mental. I needed him to be humanized a bit.
TIS "R"!
Damn. My next guess...!
Should be "Damned" My next guess.
Q, its like an R but with a peg leg.
Rrrrrrr!
Arghh! You all be a bunch of land loving scalley wags. I bet ye combined sea counters be less dan a week each for ye land dogs. Every real man worth his salt knows the correct answer be tis the C because we are always longing to be out on her bonny waves.
Pirate hats movin back and forth between C and R amidst this new pirate quandary. "Arrrgggg! Now we must decide between C and Rrrrr." Pirate eyebrows raise. "Can piratezzz have more than one favorite?"
If ye thinks so then maybe you be cracking Jenny's teacup too much and yer fate rests with Davy Jones. Savvy or do ye thinks I am running a rig on you lass?
Davy Jones be up to his old tricks again. Time to fill our tankards. Bardz be playing music starboard.
You had me at "land dogs."
I have never heard of this pirate craze at all. I shudder to think what I must have been doing to have lived through this phenomena and remained oblivious.....
......I doubt it was doing something exciting like getting Briny Deep in the Booty of some Carouser though. No Fire In The Hole for this Jolly Roger.
Apologies.
Thee pirates may still be livin in Portland. Me last visit to those shores during the 2000's led me to pubs of performing pirates still singing their shanties. I wonder if thee singing pirates may be still be around those distant shores.
aye aye Sir. Challenge accepted. I post me cracker fetish story on yer last post Mr. Palahniuk. I hope ya enjoy a bounty of laughs Captain.
'Twill look fer it, soon! A great tanks to ye.
Aye, ahoy! I burst out in tears with laughter when Red Sultan's Big Boy goes after them booties.
Aye Aye Captain. Tales from Captain's "Make Something Up" be mighty harrowing indeed. Tales of wasted contestant laid out worse than a sailor who downed the Clap of Thunder. And dear Sour Kraut be way down Davy Jones’ Locker. Ye passage brought a hang of the jib to me face. A tale te keep away from the likes of lads and lassies alike. Ahoy! Do ye laugh or do ye cry as the father watches videos of Red Sultan plundering the booty for hours and hours and there she blows!? Sultan or the lad laid out in the barn? Who's to say. The carouser did have a Yo Ho Ho of an expression to behold on his face. Batten down the hatches, these tales of the Captain are not for ye faint of heart. Scurvy or poetry. I think both Captain. Andy ye tale of Romance. A wench of simple mind take his heart for bounty. She run a rig with great delight. Hoisting her cotton pony with the vigor of a seasoned sea dog hoisting the jolly roger. Hearties, lads, and lassies alike maroon the bus. Abandon ship! Abandon ship!! As the lads abandon ship ye wench laughs and laughs. What a catch. A real bounty to treasure. A real romance story Captain.
Even ye French don't talk about such things Sir. My bounty of tales from me Captain is a booty beyond comparison Captain. One day yer a Chantey an y next ye not. Shiver Me Timbers!
Ahoy. A tale of lads and lassies. Ready to throw all ye cares away with a push of a button. Lads, lassies and landlubbers alike to carry a yo ho ho expression all the days of ye lives. Shiver me timbers! What a delight! "If ye hurt ya self ya hurt me as well ya see." Three sheets to the wind at a push of button. Avast ye! What a tale of great delight Captain! Again Ahoy! A tale of a wee lad. A lad who delights in running a rig at the delight of ye father. The boy found that he was indeed the joke. The lad was the scurvy that delighted his father. Nothing but a a scallywag!
A bounty of tales from the Captain. I hope he finds my Cracker fetish tales as much of a delight as I find me Captain's. A bounty of laughs so I may claim a booty! Do I get a bounty fer me tale Captain? Captain specified a large bounty of words not a word about quality. Have ye seen ye passage in my Urn story Captain? I hope ye enjoys it too Sir...
https://candice372.substack.com/p/uber-for-urns
Fuck! I wrote this out three times and it deletes half after I post. UI GODS! WAR YE BASTARDS!
Ye Bastards have no shame! I will raise ye demons and reek havoc on ye Substack gods. AYE!
Aye. Thank ye Captain! I hope I win ye contest with a scurvy of a tale and ye summaries of delight Sir.
Rrrrr ye hearties. We're after the booty in the heart of Davy Jones' locker, aye, but ye may 'ave ta win his heart before ye can 'ave the booty.
Aye... er. Wait, what kind a booty r we talkin' 'bout 'ere?
Me wonders what we have to do if thee pirate loot is in captain Durdenzzzz locker? Yarg!!!
Yo ho ho! Gather round all ye seadogs and scallywags, this old salt has a tale about a hoard of sugary booty! T'was All Hallow's Eve, 1992. I was still but a landlubber, adorned in a pirate costume of plastic so unforgiving it would have made anyone hang the jib. I plundered candy from the shores of a housing division subdivided, partaking in my loot as I went as if it were grog from a wench's bosom. Three sheets to the wind on Goobers and GoGurt, a foul brew blasted from my mouth, drenching my attire. Thar she blows! A kraken's length from home, I had to make the return voyage smelling like the shitter in Davy Jones' Locker. To this day, I cannot cast me eyes upon a box of Goobers without me stomach rolling like a stormy sea.
Consider "T'was All Hallow's Eve..." But you're the front runner, dude.
Aye, t'was a scallywag's mistake. Thank ye.
Avast ye all as I tell yer me tale of woe! There I was, 'ard at work scribblin' away me thoughts with blackened ink on white parchment. Hour by hour, day by day, an' all the while the seven seas was thrasin' 'n' a lashin' at the side a me ship, makin' it soes a couldnae concentrate! I commanded me crew to sing us a wee shanty--sumthin' to put us in the right frame a mind, aye. Eventually, I had it! A booty a me own makin'! 180 pieces a gold? Nae! 180 pages a ink! I took to the deck to celebrate, to consort with me crew 'n' replenish me insides wi' the warm feelin' a rum. No sooner had a left me cabin when disaster struck! I cruel wind snatched me inked parchment from me grip, scatterin' 'em to the heartless sea! All I could dae was watch as me booty was claimed by Davy Jones. All I could dae was scream, "Ya fucker, ye! Give it back!", as me crew restrained me, dragged me back from the brink. I pray to Posiden every day that he might return me my booty. Ye didnae know pain 'till fate, the cruellest wench of all, decides ta rear 'er foul face to yer.
*Uses hook to wipe away tear*
Aye Chuck. Might I tell you a tale of a ship rat of a manager me once had? Was back perhaps fifteen voyages ago. Paid me gruel in booty. Me worked selling ale at the bottle store. Of me many duties was loading the barrel of the freezer with bottles for ‘build-yar-own-six-pack’ — a task they’d have ye believe to be privilege! That it was not. The ship rat Jeff had believ’d his efforts be worth more than the crew. Indeed, he snickered remarks behind many a back like a sparrow — always aiming to instigate anger between crew members. But alas I hatched a plan among my matees to turn his face as red as an enemy ship deck. Me crew and I scribed bottle price signs with jokes about the ship rat Jeff and placed them by the dozens all around the store. At first we started slow over weeks of time, hiding them amongst them normal signs. Aye the store was as large as five vessels — the largest bottle store in the Midwest, with plenty of space for sign hiding. The ship rat would find them and interrogate I and me mates. Until one day we filled all signs and shelves with jokes about the ship rat Jeff. He accused myself, rightfully must I say, of the act and reduced my schedule to rubble. Other managers explained to me his anger that he only wielded behind the closed doors of the captain’s office. Yar, indeed it was a good day. And wouldn’t you know two weeks later I’s found me a better voyage with a bounty of much greater loot. And the ship rat Jeff toiled in his misery, never to be seen again.
All of this makes me 'tink a pirate anthology should be in the making.
Modern Ethiopian pirates that were in the news all the time 10 years ago?
Ahoy Chuck, just wanted so say thank you so so much for my prize parcel which arrived today! Its amazing & thoughtful & what I really needed today (had an echocardiogram this morning for a heart issue that was just discovered in January, got to wait up to ten days for the results & diagnosis from it so n all honesty was feeling a bit low )
Tallulah loves her sausage rabbit & little bear. She couldn't wait for me to dust the glitter off them 😁
You Sir are one in a gah-zillion. ❤ yo ho ho!
Also, great post! Strong voices are unforgettable.
Hope the results are better than expected.
Thank you 😊
Isn't the rabbit a little scary? Those teeth! I do hope your heart gets better.
Yes! I don't think I've ever seen such a scary dog toy, oh but she loves it 😄. And thank you, me too. ☹
Also I have bought a smallish magnetic board so hope to be creating magnetic poetry very soon! I may even transfer it word by word to the fridge if I'm feeling bold 😀
Huh
Not good a pirate speak but, Oh Gaaad can do Massachusetts all day fucka!
My fatha and motha down ooon the coona were buyin Dunkin’ Donuts caffee cause it’s winta and fackin cold.
Can you see them in their hoodies now?
This is a regional personality type that pervades and bleeds into RI, CT, VT, ME, and NH and the further you go the more different it gets but still with the same elimination or stretching of R’s and A’s.
Regional dialect is always fascinating. When I'm back home in Indiana for a prolonged period of time I end up warshing my clothes, re-shingling the ruff, and fishin' in the crick. Don't even get me started on coloring with crans.
I was shocked and confused when I heard a person from Wisconsin say, “what a douche-beeg.”
For a full minute I was like what’s a douche-beeg?
In high school I worked at the local hardware store. Guy came in with the thickest Kentucky drawl I'd ever heard. Asked to help him find a "lat for the hinge of the cross swing of his house." I was young, but new every inch of that store and had no idea what he was asking for. So I snaked him down each aisle hoping he'd find it himself. Finally, in Electrical, he stopped and snagged a package from a peg. "Here it is!" he was holding a tiny light bulb. He'd been looking for a "LIGHT for the HOOD of the GAS RANGE of his house."
What I wouldn’t give for a universal translator when talking to my friends from Scotland. Love asking them to say, purple burglar.
Puhpl bugla
My People.
Me inscribing books in Glasgow. Reader: "Is Sarah wid a hetch." Me:?? (It's Sarah with an 'h')
"Itsuruh wudn aich" -Glasgow, KY
They pronounce their Os similarly to a a short U sound.
Definitely not from southern Indiana, or you'd sound like me.
Central Indiana, born and raised.
Spent a lot of time in Indy last year.
We went cruoss country in an ah vee
Now you sound like my deceased in-laws. Spooky.