88 Comments
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April 27, 2023
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Accusing someone generously giving away $10K of his own money of "running a scam" is...an interesting take.

He has covered this extensively. If you were engaged with the Substack, not just shamelessly trying to get his money, you would know that.

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April 27, 2023
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I don't know what to say, other than that you had the opportunity to explain that to him when it first came up.

Look, I'm not here to get into an argument with you. And Chuck certainly doesn't need me to fight his battles. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that Chuck set up this contest in good faith. Coming in here and accusing him of running a scam after all the effort and generosity he has put into this is profoundly uncool.

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April 27, 2023
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Not having someone hand you $5,000 for reading a story is "punishment"? I would suggest you check your sense of entitlement. Wow.

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April 27, 2023
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You got him 75 free subscribers? He really owes you huh?! lol

P.S. I'm a free subscriber. And here I am commenting..........

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April 27, 2023
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author

What's funny is I liked your story. I'm not surprised others did too. Why didn't anyone respond? Just trying to keep people happy here.

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April 27, 2023
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Took me a minute to make a profile. Then, to vote for someone for free and left a comment for free, here as well.

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April 27, 2023
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author

A sticky situation. My fix was to ask voters to post comments to validate their votes. According to the Substack stats, almost all of the votes were anonymous, and I wanted the voters to speak out. Almost three weeks went by and ... crickets. No one commented to defend their vote. This seemed like a good compromise, but no one chimed. If even one person had commented, I would've let things stand as they were.

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April 27, 2023
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author

I began as honest as I could make it. When others alleged that technical cheating was taking place, I did the only fix I could think of. No one responded to support you.

People say you came to one Story Night, read your work and immediately left.

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April 27, 2023
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founding

Yes. I second this.

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author

Still waiting for stores and dates, but soon.

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April 27, 2023
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founding

That too!

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author

Workshop is supposed to begin again on May 11th. You're always welcome to join us, just give a heads up so we make sure you can present work.

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April 27, 2023
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author

It is indeed. Meets at 6:30 on Thursdays.

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April 27, 2023
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founding

Preordered!!! Thank you for the discount code. Looking forward to this shiny new hardcover to ship in!

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founding

Pre-ordered. I really hope there is a date near here. I need to see this.

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founding

Pre-ordered!! ♥️🦘😬

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founding

I cannot wait for everything to make sense!

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founding

Fellating Kangaroos

New Punk from Down Under

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I don’t think that’ll hold up in court.

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founding

True. All the Judges are in somebody's pouch.

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A kangaroo court, one might even say.

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founding

Well. That sucks...AND blows.

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I just burst a blood vessel exercising the restraint needed to not make a “your mom” joke in response to this comment.

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founding

Ha! Same here regarding a "your dad" joke.

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author

Of course the nozzle for blowing up the kangaroo is between the two rear legs. Not kidding.

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founding

I can't—won't even go near this.

Someone should have designed a bicycle pump adapter—or a gas station air-hose adapter for this sort of thing by now, no?

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Concealed perversions.

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Roo Fellator, Roofie Later

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Waiting for all the official tour dates so I can pounce like a.... well, like a kangaroo.

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Looking forward for the release with the France shipping option! :)

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author

From your mouth to God's ears.

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Pre-order #4139814414, I hope that's the number of books pre-ordered.......

It's my first pre-order like ever.......

It's would be my first book-signing but I'm planning on getting tickets to Sedaris....... finally so youll only be #2 this time......

I look forward to reading this.......per usual!

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author

For over a decade the pre-order has driven publishing. As I understand it all pre-orders go against first day sales, and that determines if and where the book lands on bestseller lists. Such lists get the book special placement in stores -- especially in airports where few books get featured. And free advertising on best seller lists. It's a horse race.

In publishing and films, I hear this called "market support." As in, "The book is decent, but it will need massive market support." In films I hear the phrase "execution dependent," as in the source material is good, but the film will have to be exceptional in order to depict the same material. All of this is a little soul destroying.

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Dude, fear not, you have an Uber driver spreading the news about your new book all over New England........and people are excited.....I didn't want to name drop but then I realized that's what we writers depend on for success. I think no matter how famous I get, I will put disguises on and still drive Uber. I have a feeling your gonna knock it out of the park with this one...........

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How many pre-order units need ordering before it’s determined that the book makes it to the bestsellers list? Asking for a friend.

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author

I've no idea. This is so political and complicated.

Only "reporting" bookstore sales go toward the lists. And often stores will panic when faced with on-line sales. Smaller stores will sell the book prior to the release date, and while those sales might be strong they don't count toward bestseller-dom.

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Oh, damn. I pre-ordered from the Tattered Cover in order to support them. I hope that also works in your favor.

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author

Hey, I love The Tattered Cover.

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Bought

otherwise I have to hope the library would get it digital and sometimes that takes forever

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When was the last time I bought something from B&N

Like 2010 or something

I can’t believe they exist it’s like KB Toys

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Need some help blowing the Kangaroos?

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author

The sad part is that I must leave them inflated overnight. In the morning I find the ones with leaks have "died" on the floor. THESE I have to submerge in the bathtub so I can find/fix the leaks. As I throttle a kangaroo and hold it under the water I feel like a deranged mother killing her children. Disturbing.

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JOY LUCK CLUB!

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author

I wish I were Amy Tan. You don't see her up late every night blowing kangaroos.

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"I'd rather be of the swineherd and be understood by the swine than be a poet among men and misunderstood by men." Kierkegaard

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The truly sad part is that the kangaroos don't even kick. They accept their fate with little resistance.

That reminds me of when you were reading the chapter about the blow up doll. The narrator submerged it too, right? Gee, you must have an abnormal amount of experience submerging inflatable objects. We're talking 10,000 hours of mastery haha

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Weirdly enough, that's part of my job while testing medical equipment for colonoscopies.

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Update: drizzling soapy water over suspected leaks also works!

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founding

LOLOLOL. Reading this with my coffee this morning. I'm dying!

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founding

"Its not like Mr. Palahniuk were a maniac or a raving thing. He just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes..."

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founding

Hey Chuck, I’ve tried to pre-order but when I go to checkout there’s no UK option. Bummer.

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Argh!

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Hocus Pocus UK shipping-ocus: https://blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/product/Not-Forever-But-for-Now-by-Chuck-Palahniuk/9781668021415

(I think the price for this one is about the same as the discounted B&N one).

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founding

Legend. Done. Thank you so much, man.

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Preordered mine months ago and paid full price. But thats ok, it goes to my tiny town indie bookseller. Happy to pay more to keep Village Lights' lights on.

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author

This year I finally finagled a book event in Oxford, MS.

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Why Oxford? Isnt that where Ole Miss is?

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author

They have a great book store, and I've been promising the owner, Cody, to do an event there for the past twenty years.

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Glad you finally got it sorted!

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Oh, wow! What's the date?

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author

I'll know soon. The Kangaroo Helper costumes came in yesterday. Will post one today. I'll be looking for two in each city, and you get to keep the costume.

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Weird coincidence, driving across Mississippi in a Kangaroo suit is on my bucket list.

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Is private journaling effective for you? I know you burn all of the source material but my fetish is reading over all of the typos and rewrites and marginal notes that built up to the books totality.

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Just like behind the scenes features on movies. Of which THE SHINING is one of the best. Filmed by his daughter. Seeing poor Shelley weeping against the wall and Kubrick muttering, "It doesn't look real Shelley."

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Or is it like there is no outside-text as Derrida famously said. And Spanbauer that everything we . . . is a self-portrait.

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