59 Comments

Why does everyone always break the first two rules?

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April 28, 2022
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Its only just begun..... remember these words lol.

Now, I'm home I'll try to hack into all my emails and go searching for one from you from an address I don't know but you could make this so easy on both of us by emailing me again at karieannewatson@gmail.com and include the heading I'm sorry your a spaz in the subject line.....

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Husband just put our car into a tree the other day. Does that count?

(He’s fine.)

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But did he travel through time?

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Technically he was moving closer to the speed of light than at rest so in a way yes. Yes, he did.

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Until the the tree of course.

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I hope they exchanged insurance information.

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If he did that I’d be at 8E Umass memorial hospital sorting out psych meds.

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Trees never leaf a car crash scene without doing so.

*cough heard from audience followed by silence.

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That joke made me bark with laughter XD

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Thanks. I’m always concerned that my standup routines aren’t nature enough for some people.

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I can see that. It's always a risk when you branch off into other topics. You gotta get back to your roots.

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True, true. I don’t wanna to be a sap; don’t want the content of my standup to be paper thin. I’ve got bundles of jokes that just don’t strike a cord -- It’s a constant thorn in my side. But hay, thanks for extending an olive branch! I’ll work on my stuff and see what blossoms from it.

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Ever see a combine or school bus derby?

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A combine derby, in Ritzville, WA. I wrote it up for the 50th anniversary of Playboy and got invited to Hef's mansion. A treat wasted on the likes of me.

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Wait. I think I read that, and thats how I found out about combine derbies out west. 2003ish? Yeah, thats definitely what happened. Its ringing all the bells now. Strange.

Ha! There may have been some great stories to hear there.

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I also recall an amazing story in Playboy during that time about a teacher who hung out with an old friend, smoked a little weed, then became a junkie teaching children shortly after.

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I wrote a film that shot in Thailand; a prison actually....A24 released it. Pretty intense place. Here's the trailer if interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mp88Nuci68c

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The trailer looks great. Congrats on the Cannes Festival selection.

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Thank you…Check it out if you can; enjoy!

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You lured me in with Thailand, but all I see is Tire-land.

Happy spring(s)!

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Pun-tastic!

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Yes, the link worked. But you have me salivating over the world's tastiest food, and regretting not having bought more of the cheapest most enduring bras in the known universe.

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Colour me curious, but are only the bras IN Thailand enduring and cheap - or would one be able to find the same durability and low cost in those “made in Thailand”?

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That is a good question. And the bras IN Thailand (to which I was referring) did not say where they were made. Maybe there's another Shangri La entirely! ;)

Sadly, we don't have many Thailand made products here on Planet Canada (apart from the obvious crafts). Based on my bra experience I would buy them all! :)

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Those events are real "crash cows"

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Wish I'd known about this place when I was there...But what would I have done? Hurled movie/ song/book quotes at my opponent?

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founding

Of course there's a Facebook group. 🤣

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"Partly" inspired?

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founding

I've been boxing since I was at Uni. Punching in the ring and with gloves on though, it always feels a bit like cheating.

Last week had this intro meeting at work. I said, "I'm a boxer because I love getting punched in the face." I said, "It's a spiritual awakening, if you know what I mean."

And no. No one got what I meant by "spiritual awakening".

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Clearly those people have never been punched in the face.

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May I introduce you to one of Britain’s oldest and somewhat violent traditions -- The Atherstone Ball game. It’s been going since 1199.

For more info: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atherstone_Ball_Game

A short demonstration vid: https://youtu.be/KmoUaIT44Mc

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Wow! When I was little, the community swimming pool would do something like that for us little kids. But it was a watermelon covered in sunscreen. My trick was to push it towards the deep end and then pull it under and swim away, then you’re just fighting against the few kids who are good at holding their breath and swimming underwater.

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Of course, you risk there being a kid who realizes they can swim above and push you back down under when you try to surface until you release the watermelon!

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Your comments immediately put me in mind of this scene from ‘It’s Always Sunny” -- https://youtu.be/ERYfyHUQEiQ

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Wtf? Made me think of that "run downhill chasing a rolling cheese" event in the Uk

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Love using vivid verbs. But sometimes it can clash with voice, right? Like if you're writing from within a character who might not use interesting verbs a writer would, it feels jarring. You could always write in third to avoid it.

I never went to a Demolition Derby but I agree. It's a lot more fun than watching cars just drive around in a circle. My dad took me to see monster trucks YEARS ago when I was kid. They made these huge jumps off a ramp and they revved their engines so loud, your whole chest vibrated.

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Suggestion.

How about a contest where we all send in our best verbs.

Might be worthwhile.

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The branding will not die but it will certainly Thai.

(Chuck, just so you won't miss me...) ;)

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I am trying too but people would have to put themselves out there and be open to adaptation.

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Ain't that what Nascar is about????

I nominate the word Keiko as a verb. He lures me in every single time with his sweetness and then wigs out of nowhere. To Keiko is to bite the hand that feeds you and still look cute.

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