35 Comments
Comment deleted
November 3, 2021
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
author

I was terrified. And freezing. As I arrived a producer approached and explained that it would be about forty degrees on stage. She said that David Letterman had so feared sweating on camera that he'd demanded extra-extra air conditioning. So despite the lights that stage feels (felt) like a meat locker. Before you're introduced you must stand in total darkness between two layers of heavy black curtains. You hear everything and shiver with the cold. Then the stage-side curtain parts and a giant Conan appears to escort you forward. In the dim light, with his make up, he looks waxen.

Expand full comment

Wow. David Letterman’s influence was huge. Seriously, it’s a good fact to consider if any of us end up on the circuit despite the mix-and-match host aspect of your anecdote. Having caught both those guys live in ‘95, you got on the cooler (sorry) and less creepy show, in my opinion. Plus... ahem... Tarantino is faboo.

Expand full comment
author

Tarantino was sweating and bouncing off the walls.

Expand full comment

When is he not?

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
November 3, 2021
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

I was trying to put my finger on it, yeah he does look like Kerouac.

Expand full comment
author

Geez, thanks! There are worse writers to look like.

Expand full comment

Luckily it was young Kerouac and not middle-aged Kerouac.

Expand full comment
author

With Kerouac, there was only young and old. He looked ancient by 45.

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
November 4, 2021
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Comment deleted
November 4, 2021
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
founding

Yaaaaas! Saaaame!!

Expand full comment
founding

When I lived down in Florida, there were stories of him going into a bookstore in St. Pete where he harassed the booksellers because his books weren’t being featured. He would start throwing books and demand his be placed there. They would either oblige or ask him to leave. College kids would take him out drinking and drop him off at home, too. I have a book from a Floridian author who documented his time down there, was hard to read because it was so emotional for me. Kerouac was one of my first tattoos.

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
November 4, 2021
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
founding

Other arm is all “Twin Peaks.”

Expand full comment
founding

I’d shoot for Bukowski.

Expand full comment

Hank had a face only a fan could love.

Expand full comment
founding

I dunno, the women sure loved him, too.

Expand full comment

Are those the $6000 pants?

Expand full comment

Also, a mustache and aviators would've completed the look.

Expand full comment

OMG, I think I have a new main character for a story...

Expand full comment
author

I fill fess up. I only paid $1500 for those pants, but that's insane enough. It's five times what I paid for my first car.

Expand full comment

Two years ago I sold my old car for scrap and got around $300 for it. The thing still ran and drove fine, but it would never have passed a safety and I finally had the money to replace it. It's crazy how something which still has a ton of utility value can have close to zero cash value, and vice versa. With the current economic outlook I'd almost expect a gradual creep back towards a utilitarian view of consumer goods, and yet this doesn't seem to be the case, at least not yet, although I haven't looked into it much lately.

Expand full comment

I was just listening to you tell Joe Rogan how sticky those pants were!

Expand full comment
author

I'd bet money that's why this clip got "found" and posted. One of my workshop students brought it to my attention. Thank you, Amber.

Expand full comment

The fit gives very Tyler Durden vibes. The textures, the patterns,-- love it.

Expand full comment
founding

Ha! Yes! Passive terrorism at its finest!

Expand full comment

Is the question: “You want Mono?” from A) Chuck’s short story - ‘Prayer’? Or B) Chuck’s 2002 interview with Conan? Please tick one box.

Also, props to the guy in the audience who confessed his inner feelings towards you at the start. Bold move.

Expand full comment

"Guts" is such an _awesome_ story. I can't believe people have passed out from you reading it. A physiological response to a story is a phenomenal compliment to a writer.

Expand full comment
founding

Those pants are the best! You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Almost no one looked cool in 2002. I started to dig through photos to prove it, but a house fire in 2003 has mercifully rid me of that era. But hey, no puka shell necklace -- you're good.

Expand full comment
author

You can take a kid out of the Ukraine, but you can't take the Ukraine out of a kid. In that get-up I could be a low-level dealer selling the flesh-eating drug Krokodil to school kids. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desomorphine

Expand full comment

Very Tyler.

Expand full comment
author

A sad, weird aspect of the Conan show. When you walk the red carpet in Rockefeller Center to the talent entrance, under-employed actors who need work try to press their head shots into your hands. I didn't know not to accept the photos and arrived backstage with an armful of glossies. A producer for the show saw this and said, "Don't put those just anywhere. They must be filthy."

Expand full comment
founding

May I say—- you have the best damn jawline and dimpled chin! Whew! Strong and not taking any shit!

I really loved “Diary,” “Lullaby” and “Rant” so much. The cover jacket on “Rant” was beautiful.

Man, that took me back.

Expand full comment

THE WATER BUFFALO PANTS!!!

Chuck, I’m hoping you see this. After listening to you on Rogan, I’m inspired to write again. I have two questions for you…

1. Do you find that writing in this darker, at times aggressive nature changes your mood? I feel as though when I write well, the work sucks me in and I morph into a storm cloud with a constant dry, pessimistic narrative. It may be that I have just not effectively learned how to manage properly, but I’ve always been so curious if this is a common issue.

2. Would you please, please choose a tattoo for me? You are, without getting weird, my absolute hero. I want to get a tattoo honoring Fight Club, as it was the work that brought me to you and the anti-establishment, anti-consumerist themes make my heart swell. I don’t know what to get tattooed to grasp my appreciation for the book or you. I thought it would be so special if you came up with an idea. I’m open to anything and I’ll use as much space as I need, skin wise.

Wow. I talk too much. If you’re too busy to bother with this I understand. Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving those of us with an edgy, unpolished inner narrative the balls to bring it into the world and force them to acknowledge us. ❤️

(Yes this is a repeat comment. I promise I won’t copy/paste it anymore please don’t ban me lol)

Expand full comment

I think if I ever become known for my writing, I only want to get so big as to have my readers ask " Why have you never been on xx's show?" instead of actually being big enough to have been on xx's show.

Expand full comment

That's so good. I was laughing my ass off. Conan's the best. You've really had a great run at this writing hobby of yours, eh Chuck?

Expand full comment

Chuck Palahniuk and Quentin Tarantino on the same stage. You should talk him into directing Survivor the motion picture. I would literally lose my shit.......

Expand full comment