22 Comments
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June 4, 2023
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You've gotta read THE ART OF LIVING ABSENTLY from Alexi Kukuljevic. She explains it, there.

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Very clever idea and thank you for sharing! I do wish more people would use humane deterrents [such as your method] rather than resorting to hurting the animals.

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Message sent. My dog is the sweetest beast on Earth (after Egg of course) but she won't stay out of the garden and neither do all the ferel cats (I've tried rocks wrapped in tinfoil, citrus, etc and it never worked. This is brilliant!) Then I can set the humane traps right before the deterrent line to take them to the TNR program. Thank you for offering this gift even if they're already spoken for ❤️

Silk flowers are so pricey here at the big name chain stores I don't know if I could afford to go and clip my own ends. These new ones look perfect for in between the cucumber plants and carrots. Absolutely brilliant. We're teaching the children how to can food this year and they asked for pickles, hoping at least a few plants survive 🙏

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Interesting timing. For the last two weeks or so, I’ve had a trespassing cat. But he’s more an honoured guest if truth be told. He comes around breakfast and/lunch time, gets petted, gets fed, then leaves. An enviable existence.

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My semi-feral cat Freedia likes to chew on the stems of fake flowers, and spit the plastic shards all over the living room. Good luck to anyone trying this with a Freedia in their life

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Ooh, that's great! There are so many free range cats in this neighborhood. I've been releasing the cairn terrier as deterrent. He gets so proud.

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When I see a cat taking a piss in my back garden I usually gargle like a boiling kettle. With the only result that they look at me with a long intense squint and take a dump instead.

“Chuck Palahniuk’s Garden Spoiler”

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Does the same thing work on dogs? I have this horrible dog shit and weird piss smell outside the entrance to my condo building stairwell and it's not homeless people. It's just fairly more evident because the 4am sprinklers keep it wet enough under the bushes that the smell is heavy all day. Since.we won't get rain again till around Halloween it's not going away anytime soon.

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Some people in the building are too lazy to take their dogs past the entrance to piss?

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Great, guess I am moving to the country.

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June 4, 2023
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Especially if he can’t get fast internet in the sticks

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Hah, I get 50mbs up and downstream fiberoptic where I live. I just need to sell a book or two so I can afford that starlink dish. Then I can move out into a cabin in the woods.

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Best you could do in rural Canada is buy black market fibre optic cable and train a horde of raccoons to install it for you.

Satellite dishes were banned to stop us from watching American College Football.

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It could be a shrub that smells like cat urine...

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Yeah it could be a boxwood plant. Great having a sensitive nose is great for cooking but horrible for having to be around plants chosen for their curb appeal.

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I hate them but it's that time of year and I've been hearing a lot of people complain but I only know this fun fact because of my Godmother who had 20 plus cats growing up who swore her house never stunk...and had shrubs.

If my Godmother could put me up for adoption she would. And I could care less. I've never felt freer......

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Sending a message now! My planters are covered in chicken wire and old dried up blackberry vines to keep the cats from digging up my potatoes and watermelons. These would be great!

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Well I'm m definitely late to the party, but it would be great essentials for crafting!

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For everyone else that's late to the punch, you can also use human hair to deter animals. A heavy smokers hair is your best option to keep animals away...

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I have little Billy the house cat to take care of now a days. I'm the regulator for Billy. He's not very affectionate but he does not hesitate to march into my room at 3AM and sound the alarm. I know what time that is! Time to regulate on some Mother Fuckin' raccoons and possums eating Billy's food outside! STEP OFF! We try to bring the food inside but Billy is so O.G. ...

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My wife brought a cat when she moved in with me, but I'm having a tough time understanding the fun of it all. This piece of work doesn't even use a litterbox, because honestly: who'd shit in a box when there's perfectly agreeable grapevines in the garden. Thanks for the tip, at least now I'll be less annoyed with the accumulating shit everywhere. I hope he moves on to destroy my neighbor's white roses.

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Dearest Friend, if you were closer it would be you I'd pick to go see Snoop with..........I decided to wear my glitter boots and not much else.......Im going to get noticed.......

I only wanna smoke a blunt with da man......

I'm so hoping this makes for an awesome chapter!

Gringa Loca

P.S. Karie Anne, Karie Grace, Kane and Ducky are absolutely not invited to smoke with Snoop..... especially not Karie Grace!

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