This method painted a better picture in my mind. I can see loads of things to improve at in my writing. Notes taken, thanks Chuck. And well done to Kerri.
This method is essentially the same as the way in which my lecturers mark my essays. Seeing a typo highlighted never fails to give me a smile. A how-did-you-not-notice-that-dumbass kind of smile.
Chuck, would it be alright if I -- or anyone else who may be in the same boat -- post a link to the story that’s in the current/soon to be old call for stories in the upcoming call?
…that’s all such incredible feedback. Where can one go to get this kind of breakdown for their stuff? Any suggestions, guys? I’ve been researching “clarity” since Saturday, and I feel more lost than ever. Ty in advance.
Erik, I haven’t done it in awhile, but I used to subscribe to Litreactor.com, where you could critique others’ work, earn points, and then submit your own work for a critique. The critiques I received were very detailed, many line-by-line notes similar to what Chuck has provided here, some even more detailed.
In Tom's workshop I learned all of these tricks just by watching other people's work be critiqued by Tom. Too often when it was my own work I couldn't apply the advice. It's a longish process, to see the distinctions applied, and to internalize them. Give yourself some slack, things will jell. We've only begun this new process. Relax.
Thank you for changing the way you critique on here. The play-by-play is way less work on my part and I appreciate that very much. Before, it was harder for me to balance the story and feedback by switching tabs back and forth. Might just be me lol
And good on Kerri for submitting this! It inspired a lot of lessons and reinforced some great storytelling strategies. We're all gonna become better writers!
A question about short sentences. I love my punchy lines. Even fragments are a delight to read. In Consider This, you mention one of your friends, think his name was Bob, tell you to not use a lot of commas. Readers love short sentences. My question is...how do you know you have an effective short sentence without sacrificing the meaning? Because I often worry that my sentences aren't doing enough. I want to retain the conciseness but not lose clarity. Any thoughts?
It takes some practice, but you'll get a feel for how short sentences can lure a reader along. Or create tension. And long, run-on sentences can imply chaos and fast, continuous action. The larger trick is to stay aware of your sentence length and learning how to vary length to create different effects.
That’s what I’m attempting to balance writing for the paper. The Lifestyles section has me interviewing people and writing about their journeys to get there.
Also, being a spoken word poet and writing for that type of performance is different. I tried to write “on the body.” It has some good elements and gets messy. I am in agreement with what Chuck wrote. Especially about changing voices—- letting the reader make up their mind how to feel about the people in the story.
I’m beyond grateful for being one of the selected. I have so much to learn and look forward trying again. What an unbelievable honor! Chuck Palahniuk read my story and is teaching me to be a better writer. Damn, man. How friggin’ cool is that. Hope this helped other writers, too. I’m still battling with hiding the “I.” I’m gonna win and do it!! Thanks everyone and especially, Chuck!
I really liked this format! I did read the whole story first, though, and then once again with your suggestions. That way the story had its own flow on first encounter before I thought of what could change for the better.
Maybe I’ll try it as posted next time- thanks, Chuck!
same shit
https://finogenatius.substack.com/p/trying-to-tie-shoes?s=w
ty for your candor as always
This is very helpful. Examples of student writing and then Chuck's critique. Thanks!
Love this new format. Really easy to digest and understand the notes. Also, great job, Kerri!
Great! I'll post several this way. Then we can get a consensus. Thanks.
Yes, this format is great.
I like this method. The interjected notes helped me zero in on what you were explaining. Thanks again.
This method painted a better picture in my mind. I can see loads of things to improve at in my writing. Notes taken, thanks Chuck. And well done to Kerri.
This method is essentially the same as the way in which my lecturers mark my essays. Seeing a typo highlighted never fails to give me a smile. A how-did-you-not-notice-that-dumbass kind of smile.
Chuck, would it be alright if I -- or anyone else who may be in the same boat -- post a link to the story that’s in the current/soon to be old call for stories in the upcoming call?
Do you mean here? Or on the upcoming Call for Stories?
The upcoming call.
Love, love, love the new format. It's immediate and specific and actionable. I hope you keep doing it this way!
Thanks for sharing, Kerri! I read this a month or so ago and found it very gripping.
Chuck, I love the new format.
Hey hey, how goes it…
…that’s all such incredible feedback. Where can one go to get this kind of breakdown for their stuff? Any suggestions, guys? I’ve been researching “clarity” since Saturday, and I feel more lost than ever. Ty in advance.
Erik, I haven’t done it in awhile, but I used to subscribe to Litreactor.com, where you could critique others’ work, earn points, and then submit your own work for a critique. The critiques I received were very detailed, many line-by-line notes similar to what Chuck has provided here, some even more detailed.
In Tom's workshop I learned all of these tricks just by watching other people's work be critiqued by Tom. Too often when it was my own work I couldn't apply the advice. It's a longish process, to see the distinctions applied, and to internalize them. Give yourself some slack, things will jell. We've only begun this new process. Relax.
I like the new format of weaving in the story text. Your reading / commenting on pieces is valuable for us newbies. thanks.
Loved the new format. Learned so much today, thank you
Thank you for changing the way you critique on here. The play-by-play is way less work on my part and I appreciate that very much. Before, it was harder for me to balance the story and feedback by switching tabs back and forth. Might just be me lol
And good on Kerri for submitting this! It inspired a lot of lessons and reinforced some great storytelling strategies. We're all gonna become better writers!
A question about short sentences. I love my punchy lines. Even fragments are a delight to read. In Consider This, you mention one of your friends, think his name was Bob, tell you to not use a lot of commas. Readers love short sentences. My question is...how do you know you have an effective short sentence without sacrificing the meaning? Because I often worry that my sentences aren't doing enough. I want to retain the conciseness but not lose clarity. Any thoughts?
Thanks!
It takes some practice, but you'll get a feel for how short sentences can lure a reader along. Or create tension. And long, run-on sentences can imply chaos and fast, continuous action. The larger trick is to stay aware of your sentence length and learning how to vary length to create different effects.
That’s what I’m attempting to balance writing for the paper. The Lifestyles section has me interviewing people and writing about their journeys to get there.
Also, being a spoken word poet and writing for that type of performance is different. I tried to write “on the body.” It has some good elements and gets messy. I am in agreement with what Chuck wrote. Especially about changing voices—- letting the reader make up their mind how to feel about the people in the story.
I’m beyond grateful for being one of the selected. I have so much to learn and look forward trying again. What an unbelievable honor! Chuck Palahniuk read my story and is teaching me to be a better writer. Damn, man. How friggin’ cool is that. Hope this helped other writers, too. I’m still battling with hiding the “I.” I’m gonna win and do it!! Thanks everyone and especially, Chuck!
I really liked this format! I did read the whole story first, though, and then once again with your suggestions. That way the story had its own flow on first encounter before I thought of what could change for the better.
Maybe I’ll try it as posted next time- thanks, Chuck!
Love this format too!
RIght on! Really like this approach. Keep on, keeping on.
C.P.—> the bestest ❤️
🤣