Hi Cris! Thank you for sharing "Bela Lugosi’s Not Dead" with us.
Such a cool concept!!!
-I really enjoyed the way you conveyed Lugosi's experience with the "black brick." Haha! That was so neat to have the perspective of not knowing what a cell phone is. And I liked Chuck's suggestions about how to rephrase with the different tenses Lugo…
Hi Cris! Thank you for sharing "Bela Lugosi’s Not Dead" with us.
Such a cool concept!!!
-I really enjoyed the way you conveyed Lugosi's experience with the "black brick." Haha! That was so neat to have the perspective of not knowing what a cell phone is. And I liked Chuck's suggestions about how to rephrase with the different tenses Lugosi's pondering of "is it a bomb?" Like maybe Lugosi lived in a time where people were always worried about bombs, so this is what first comes to mind?
-I love the end, when the man comes to the door and recognizes him as "Eva." Here I was really biting my fingernails.
-I'm curious about what happened to Hope.
-Amp up Lugosi's voice and bringing out things Lugosi would notice because of who he is, and I think this story will go out with a bang!
Chuck--thank you for discussing tension/breaking of tension. For me, this is a concept I'm going to need you to stuff into my ears several thousand more times. I also love how you've pointed to burning the voice in a way that is appropriate to the narrator, and the example of the German sentence structure. And the example showing how switching between first, second, and third person tenses would work really nicely.
Thank you, Megan. I was aware that I needed to express Bela's voice in a different way, but had no idea how to do so without butchering the whole thing... So I wrote it very plain, trying to sort the scene out first and then figuring out the specifics of his voice. And Chuck gave me such clear guidelines in how to do that! I can't believe I'm this lucky to get this kind of insight. I had never felt like a writer as much as I do today... Now to detailing the set-ups, fixing the tension and then breaking it more appropriately, polishing the mirror part (which is a fundamental part of the whole story) and showing Bela what we're up to these days! :)
Hi Cris! Thank you for sharing "Bela Lugosi’s Not Dead" with us.
Such a cool concept!!!
-I really enjoyed the way you conveyed Lugosi's experience with the "black brick." Haha! That was so neat to have the perspective of not knowing what a cell phone is. And I liked Chuck's suggestions about how to rephrase with the different tenses Lugosi's pondering of "is it a bomb?" Like maybe Lugosi lived in a time where people were always worried about bombs, so this is what first comes to mind?
-I love the end, when the man comes to the door and recognizes him as "Eva." Here I was really biting my fingernails.
-I'm curious about what happened to Hope.
-Amp up Lugosi's voice and bringing out things Lugosi would notice because of who he is, and I think this story will go out with a bang!
Chuck--thank you for discussing tension/breaking of tension. For me, this is a concept I'm going to need you to stuff into my ears several thousand more times. I also love how you've pointed to burning the voice in a way that is appropriate to the narrator, and the example of the German sentence structure. And the example showing how switching between first, second, and third person tenses would work really nicely.
Thank you, Megan. I was aware that I needed to express Bela's voice in a different way, but had no idea how to do so without butchering the whole thing... So I wrote it very plain, trying to sort the scene out first and then figuring out the specifics of his voice. And Chuck gave me such clear guidelines in how to do that! I can't believe I'm this lucky to get this kind of insight. I had never felt like a writer as much as I do today... Now to detailing the set-ups, fixing the tension and then breaking it more appropriately, polishing the mirror part (which is a fundamental part of the whole story) and showing Bela what we're up to these days! :)
You can do it!!!
I guess it's a common thing, the fear of pushing it too far.