13 Comments

How do you know when your specificity is serving a purpose for the story rather than being specific for the sake of it? Cause I always feel like I'm doing the latter.

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Also, does a story have to open immediately with action and physicality? The story I'm working on, the second paragraph goes into a scene with action. But the first paragraph hints at a long-standing problem with a promise of something new.

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Thanks for sharing this piece Pam. It’s always awesome to see different styles here and what Chuck and others have to say as far as input and questions. This story topic is strong for sure. It got me looking back at all the crazy parties I’ve been to.

I like the idea of considering the dark side of a “crazy” party. The story people take away is always the wild and fun stuff, but you dig into what people want to look away from. I like that you’re putting horrible behavior out in the open. It can make readers totally rehash the past in a new way. It can seriously stir up a major emotional response.

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Thanks for sharing Pam. The more Gloves Off I read, the more I think I will someday understand writing.

I definitely want to see something from the flame bartending dwarves, the piss, maybe extending the scene in Wayne’s room and the fight after.

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Thank you so much, Chuck. Your comments were so helpful. I’m going to read them over again and again. This story is actually a fleshed-out, fictionalized (not enough, I know) version of a true story my friend told me.

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founding

Hi Pam! Thanks for putting your story out there.

I love the tension you created during the party where Samples and Jessie get "interrupted."

I like the dialogue to action ratio you've got going on as well. Kept me interested throughout.

I wonder if you could start right in scene and weave in the information about the nicknames. I did get a kick out of the Samples nickname and backstory. And how it ties in to that last paragraph--to those pens that Samples wanted to collect but couldn't due to the purse full of pee.

Along with Chuck's suggestion about setting up the pee earlier, I might suggest having the narrator notice the gold Playboy pens at the party earlier and wanting them at this earlier point, so that the reader will recall the pens at the very end.

I love the line, "He chuckled, then sighed like he did when I asked him for more promotional items."

Nice work! Keep it up!

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