All my writing these days is guided by the things from Consider This and on here. They are so readily applicable. Best of all, you give them names. It's like we have our own language for categorizing these powerful concepts. "Submerging the I" is still my favorite. Because not only does it improve the work, but it presents a fun challenge. A limitation. It's problem solving! How can you write this story but only use the pronoun...three times, for example. It's not easy. It's something I have to work on during my edits because I'm so used to using the "I".
Also, you encouraged me to pay more attention to tension. Whether or not I'm sustaining it or killing it by either revealing too much info or using Tennis Match Dialogue.
And another thing I love. When you talk about letting the epiphany occur in the reader's mind before it's stated on the page. Oh man, you stated this before, but when a reader figures it out, they feel so smart! When I'm listening to Romance and she pulls out that hot dog bun tied to a string with the ketchup, it feels like an inside joke but we ALL know what's going on. It engages the reader when they have to play detective a little bit.
Oh and last but not least, how can I forget the total annihilation of thought/abstract verbs?! This shifted my mind to find more active verbs.
Anyway, I don't want to drone on forever.
Oh...sorry, one more thing. Dentals. You said during an interview to end sentences with dental consonants. Which to me means words that end with d, n, t, or l. Donut. Nerd. Tent. Dad. Lentil. Honestly I don't know exactly why ending with a dental is a good thing. Doesn't even matter. Whatever you tell me to do, I just do it.
oh yeah, submerging the I has been a big lesson for me too. At first I thought if I just made the narrator nothing like me at all, readers wouldn't think it was me when I used, "I." But now even if the narrator is a big-ass-beetle, if it uses "I" I immediately think, this is just you (the author) in a bug suit, huh?
There are so many lessons to learn in all of these posts - I feel that if I incorporate even ONE of them (though I try for more), I’m a better writer. When you name a thing, you kill it. The porch. Pointillism in general. Building tension, etc. It makes me want to rewrite everything I’ve already created because I have so many “eww, THAT’S not good…” moments, but also sit down and create new stories too; a tough balance.
As a poet and a musician, most of my experience has been in mood and rhythm, telling stories in snapshots of emotion and sensation. I think I do well with burning the tongue, and with maintaining pace. The tools you’ve given me, repetition of a linguistic device, the moving/morphing object, the angel camera, listing more or less than three, have all helped me get closer to the writer I’m trying to be. As you’ve spoken of before, I’m a middle-aged person with a lot of life experience, still trying to learn the subtle art of fiction. It’s harder than I thought it would be, but you’ve thrown so much knowledge and insight out here for us to digest that I can’t help but make better stories. I’ve had to rearrange my mind to get rid of trained ideas of description, and I love how your teaching has led me to search for more visceral, on the body portrayal in my work. I may not have the same things clanging around my brain, but do I want to write like you, like Suzy Vitello, like Tom Spanbaeur, like Amy Hempel? Hell yes. Thank you for everything you do, and I hope to write something one day that makes you say, “Fuck, that’s good!”
I'm obsessed with composers who report how their landmark work coalesced within moments aboard a train or other conveyance. As Gershwin says his Rhapsody in Blue came to him while on a commuter train.
That’s cool, too, because Rhapsody in Blue has always elicited trains in my mind, and I felt the United ad campaign that used it back in the day fell flat because it seemed incongruous.
There really is something to writing on a train. I fell in love with trains many years ago, and havent been on a plane since 2015. Wish we had high speed rails across the country. Supposed to be one in the works from Louisville to Indy to Chicago. I would definitely be more apt to visit Chi if that were the case.
I admit it. With a female narrator, and such an obnoxious male character, I stumbled over the fact that she was driving. And assuming that she was riding shotgun, I stumbled over how her left hand could be outside the window. If we had a second reminder that SHE was driving, her hand shifting gears, say, then we wouldn't be so dependent on the single mention of her as the driver.
I can't say enough how much I've learned from this "residency."
I've been trying to implement many of these tools into my writing for awhile, without knowing exactly why or what I was doing. I was only mimicking from reading. You describing the tools has allowed me to actually access them when I get stuck... instead of flailing.
My big breakthrough was your stack on listening to what people aren't saying. For years, I've been chasing a scene in Robert Gipe's series where a young boy is asking his grandpa about his grandma's illness and the grandpa in return is dusting off CD cases and talking about his favorite musician. I knew that scene made me emotional, but I couldn't put a pin in the fact that it was the avoidance.
A month ago I went home to see my grandma who is sick, and my mom and her five siblings were yapping on about what color to paint her cement garage while my grandma painfully choked down cottage cheese.
That substack on what people aren't saying, made everything click.
Right? And the emotion occurs when you allow the reader to make the connection you've been hinting at. When the reader's mind "clicks" that final puzzle piece into place, then you have something lasting.
Man, so many things. Off the top of my head, the things I've most enjoyed at least trying to incorporate:
--On-the-body
--Submerging the I
--Staying in a character's POV
--Describing the thing before naming it
--Morphing objects/resolving objects
--NOT resolving dialogue (probably the easiest one to get since it's so literal. Just don't let a character actually answer a question).
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole martyr/murder/witness thing. I recognize it when you point it out -- I love the idea of the phone being the murder victim in this story! -- but I don't think I'm there yet with figuring out how to get that trifecta down in my own fiction. (I'm going to consciously make that a goal going forward and see what I can do.)
As always, thanks. The above represents a weency fraction of what I've learned from you over the last couple years.
Maybe someone here can steer in a better direction as far as "On-the-body" details. Most of the time I resort to using default ways of describing physical sensations. Like...a sharp stabbing pain! I still don't know how to do it in a way that makes the reader feel the sensation.
You could try as an exercise just writing down details of how you experience physical sensations:
For example, the way that your head tilts back when you swallow, the tensing of the muscles in your throat, the wave-like roll of fluid and tension as whatever you swallowed (thick, sharp like not fully chewed potato chips, or thin like spit or water) and the warmth or coldness or fullness as it hits your stomach. Do your eyes shut when you start to swallow? Or just twitch a little?
I’m very much still trying to figure this out as well.
Yes! Thanks for that reminder. I'm trying to include as much texture as I can (drippiness, stickiness, she just ate half a strawberry and put the rest back). But remembering to include smell is key. I'm just getting to the fun part where she goes for it and eats all the different things. I'll make sure smell is included. (And not just food. If I can think of how to describe the smell of opening the fridge door and smelling the cold and the milk cartons...)
Oh my gosh, I am so mad that I couldn’t respond to this the moment I saw the notification come in. To say that I was giddy that you reviewed my story is an understatement.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Chuck! Your feedback and comments were spot on as usual.
As I was reading through your feedback, I felt a pang of frustration/light bulb going off because your suggestions felt so obvious yet revelatory. Bringing back the diamond ring in the flashback that sets up the ending? Brilliant.
As others have mentioned here, this series has taught me so much. Submerging the I, On the Body, Choruses and Horses have influenced my writing deeply. I never know if I’m using the guidance correctly but I keep trying.
From Chicago, a huge, warm thank you for all that you do for this community. Thank you so much, Chuck!
Submerging the “I”, establishing a clock, big vs. little voice. Using less or no thought verbs. Pretty much all the new work I do has the lessons you teach on here at the forefront. It’s beyond helpful and applicable. Plus, it’s fun.
I took a break from the internet for quite some time and am working my way through soooo many lessons you’ve cranked out this past year. Playing catch up. But it gives me something to think about every day.
Thanks for sharing your work Saul, I look forward to seeing how you incorporate Chuck’s suggestions.
Thanks again Chuck. It might seem like you are repeating yourself in an echo chamber, but the more I see of your analysis in context, the more I feel like I understand.
The objects, their transformation, the underlying themes (horses) and how to emphasize these, this all seemed to make sense and I’m excited to apply this in my own work.
When I read Saul’s opening I thought about giving an on the body sense of the narrator driving, the feel of her wedding ring. Then I read your comments about this Chuck and I felt very smart.
I am a published author in Catalan and have been writing for many years now. Despite this, I have read books in English most of my life, including lots of books on the craft. So, I can't say I'm a stranger to most of the concepts and techniques discussed in this wonderful forum.
Yet, the way Mr. Palahniuk analyzes and discusses each of these elements in Plot Spoiler, Consider This, podcasts, and other broadcast media, is so lucid, engaging, and precise that you become a much better writer the instant you read or listen to him.
Whether you choose to use a tool or not, it's essential to know it exists and what it does. And Mr. Palahniuk is the best at explaining this.
To me, as a non-native English writer, Mr. Palahniuk's insistence on using active verbs and avoiding emotional tells or thought verbs in a story has been particularly useful. The idea that action carries its own authority. Or that language is not our first language. Man, this is pure gold! Especially for a voluble overthinker like me.
Also, I find the pointillist technique fascinating and useful, especially in the conception or rough draft stage.
For many years, I suffered from a bad case of writer's block because I couldn't refrain from trying to decide beforehand where a given jigsaw piece would go in the puzzle, or which puzzle at that. Even after finding the solution to the deadlock, reading Mr. Palahniuk's ideas and illustrations on the subject has continued to be enormously inspiring and validating.
So, yeah. This forum is a genuine treasure trove for all who love fiction writing and studying the craft.
Thank you. Decades ago, Tom Spanbauer wrote that his MFA program at Columbia taught him years of "hydrology theory" but it was Gordon Lish who finally taught him how to plumb together pipes. Tom hates Gordon, but Tom can't deny the usefulness of Gordon's storytelling advice.
Got it. Yet, let me make this clear: unlike Tom with Gordon Lish, I love you, as I love all the teachers—masters in their craft—who help me grow as a writer.
The first rule of Plot Spoiler is: Submerge the I.
The second rule of Plot Spoiler is: SUBMERGE THE I!
Third rule of Plot Spoiler: Use a gun and a clock.
Fourth rule: Escalate the tension
Fifth rule: Never filter the world through the narrator. Not I heard the bell rang, just the bell rang.
Sixth rule: Consider the narrator's body of knowledge and demonstrate that expertise.
Seventh rule: Is, has, was are boring verbs.
And the eighth and final rule: Just shit out the lump of coal.
I've learned so much here. Thanks to Chuck for all the wisdom and thanks to all those who were lucky enough to have a story selected for critique. One day.
All these blew my mind and demanded time to recover from. I, too, have the "throw out the 500,000 words of novels and work" I've got sitting around. Embarrassed, I'm swimming back through them, a page or two at a time. It's agony, but it's growing, getting better at something. "Learning is healing," today's thought. It's not "bad" to realize I can do better. It's healing a wound, giving a chance to grow.
It took me several years to understand what it meant to give your character’s their own voice and authority.
Once I let go of trying to control the plot and instead focused on writing a specific, authentic, burnt-tongued voice; it all clicked. Well…at least that part clicked.
Without this stack and the people I’ve met through it, I wouldn’t have gotten there.
Thanks for sharing, Saul. I could see the strong foundation in your story as I read. Now comes the fun part of putting up the rest of the walls and decorating!
For me the big one has always been "Big Voice vs Little Voice".
It's about that change of texture that you need without even knowing it. Texture is everywhere. In your food. That apple pie you want to be a bit crunchy on top, but soft and hot on the inside. Those chocolate flakes on your milkshake. Your gelato. You look for texture in music. A nice melody with all those C sharp and F major, lyrics you can relate to. And then ka-boom. The drum hits you in the face. Then a guitar solo that hypnotises you. You look for a different texture also when you ask your partner if she needs anything from the shop, then you take the second turn left and Jane is buzzing you in to give you a messy blowjob. That's a change of texture too.
As a writer, a Big Voice is fun because you can drop in these asides of all kinds. Philosophy in pills. Sarcastic remarks. Side jokes. Anything that might pop into the main character's head addressing the reader directly. And as a reader, you feel closer to the narrator. To the story. Whether you realise it or not, you're more connected to the main character. Because it's You they are talking to, but in such a subtle way. All done walking that eggshell path paved between you and the reader. Big Voice, done right, it's like that genuine conversation that kicks in after a third beer. A bit intimate, a bit funny, a bit heartbreaking. All without losing that writer-reader spell that a story is all about. You know the writer is there, but you don't want to see her in any word. Otherwise the magic is lost, you don't believe anything you're reading anymore, and it was all for nothing.
Also, "Horizontal versus Vertical".
This is a bit hard to grasp, but for me the vertical is always that kick in the ribs you didn't expect. You're bouncing around your story with short snappy sentences, physical sensations and action verbs. You drop in a few asides. You make the reader giggle, you make them laugh. They're looking elsewhere, where you want them to look. But you're slowly planting some thoughts in their head. And they grow. And they grow. While you're holding their hand showing the world around, until you bring them in this dark alley to rip their heart off.
Vertical for me is about proximity to your heart. Think about it, you read the news, "A man in Guadalajara got hit by a bus." And your first thought is, "Should I get dumplings for dinner?"
A friend tells you that a guy in your town got hit by a bus. And you find yourself wondering, "Maybe I know him. Who was he?"
Then you get a phone call. It's the teacher from your kid's nursery. She's chewing words and swallowing her own tongue. Then she says, "I'm so sorry." She says someone left the gate open. Your daughter ran outside. No one had noticed. Until they heard the van hitting the brakes. Long streaks on the asphalt. She says, "I'm sorry, your daughter got hit by a bus." And you find yourself throwing up in the loo.
So yeah, Vertical is to make sure the one hit by a bus is not a man in Guadalajara but your daughter.
Also, for me is when I write a story, and I find myself sobbing like an idiot. It's my own story, I wrote it, I created it, but I still sob. That's pathetic but no one is watching anyway, so all good.
Try on the term "mouth feel." Even if I love the flavor of something, and the scent, if the mouth feel is wrong, I won't eat it. Like drinking milk and having a clump of something solid hit my lips. Instant revulsion.
All my writing these days is guided by the things from Consider This and on here. They are so readily applicable. Best of all, you give them names. It's like we have our own language for categorizing these powerful concepts. "Submerging the I" is still my favorite. Because not only does it improve the work, but it presents a fun challenge. A limitation. It's problem solving! How can you write this story but only use the pronoun...three times, for example. It's not easy. It's something I have to work on during my edits because I'm so used to using the "I".
Also, you encouraged me to pay more attention to tension. Whether or not I'm sustaining it or killing it by either revealing too much info or using Tennis Match Dialogue.
And another thing I love. When you talk about letting the epiphany occur in the reader's mind before it's stated on the page. Oh man, you stated this before, but when a reader figures it out, they feel so smart! When I'm listening to Romance and she pulls out that hot dog bun tied to a string with the ketchup, it feels like an inside joke but we ALL know what's going on. It engages the reader when they have to play detective a little bit.
Oh and last but not least, how can I forget the total annihilation of thought/abstract verbs?! This shifted my mind to find more active verbs.
Anyway, I don't want to drone on forever.
Oh...sorry, one more thing. Dentals. You said during an interview to end sentences with dental consonants. Which to me means words that end with d, n, t, or l. Donut. Nerd. Tent. Dad. Lentil. Honestly I don't know exactly why ending with a dental is a good thing. Doesn't even matter. Whatever you tell me to do, I just do it.
I'm like a sad lemming rushing off a cliff.
YOLO.
Wow! Thank you! You made my day.
oh yeah, submerging the I has been a big lesson for me too. At first I thought if I just made the narrator nothing like me at all, readers wouldn't think it was me when I used, "I." But now even if the narrator is a big-ass-beetle, if it uses "I" I immediately think, this is just you (the author) in a bug suit, huh?
ha.
There are so many lessons to learn in all of these posts - I feel that if I incorporate even ONE of them (though I try for more), I’m a better writer. When you name a thing, you kill it. The porch. Pointillism in general. Building tension, etc. It makes me want to rewrite everything I’ve already created because I have so many “eww, THAT’S not good…” moments, but also sit down and create new stories too; a tough balance.
Same
As a poet and a musician, most of my experience has been in mood and rhythm, telling stories in snapshots of emotion and sensation. I think I do well with burning the tongue, and with maintaining pace. The tools you’ve given me, repetition of a linguistic device, the moving/morphing object, the angel camera, listing more or less than three, have all helped me get closer to the writer I’m trying to be. As you’ve spoken of before, I’m a middle-aged person with a lot of life experience, still trying to learn the subtle art of fiction. It’s harder than I thought it would be, but you’ve thrown so much knowledge and insight out here for us to digest that I can’t help but make better stories. I’ve had to rearrange my mind to get rid of trained ideas of description, and I love how your teaching has led me to search for more visceral, on the body portrayal in my work. I may not have the same things clanging around my brain, but do I want to write like you, like Suzy Vitello, like Tom Spanbaeur, like Amy Hempel? Hell yes. Thank you for everything you do, and I hope to write something one day that makes you say, “Fuck, that’s good!”
Ah, your songwriting should give you such a good angle on fiction writing. Here's a link for a future discussion:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RmWDbcaYV4
I'm obsessed with composers who report how their landmark work coalesced within moments aboard a train or other conveyance. As Gershwin says his Rhapsody in Blue came to him while on a commuter train.
Let us not forget the shower. Blessed tabernacle of free thought.
That’s cool, too, because Rhapsody in Blue has always elicited trains in my mind, and I felt the United ad campaign that used it back in the day fell flat because it seemed incongruous.
There really is something to writing on a train. I fell in love with trains many years ago, and havent been on a plane since 2015. Wish we had high speed rails across the country. Supposed to be one in the works from Louisville to Indy to Chicago. I would definitely be more apt to visit Chi if that were the case.
“Sexist pig that I am…” hahaha
I admit it. With a female narrator, and such an obnoxious male character, I stumbled over the fact that she was driving. And assuming that she was riding shotgun, I stumbled over how her left hand could be outside the window. If we had a second reminder that SHE was driving, her hand shifting gears, say, then we wouldn't be so dependent on the single mention of her as the driver.
I see what you’re saying.
Pig.
Hahaha
I can't say enough how much I've learned from this "residency."
I've been trying to implement many of these tools into my writing for awhile, without knowing exactly why or what I was doing. I was only mimicking from reading. You describing the tools has allowed me to actually access them when I get stuck... instead of flailing.
My big breakthrough was your stack on listening to what people aren't saying. For years, I've been chasing a scene in Robert Gipe's series where a young boy is asking his grandpa about his grandma's illness and the grandpa in return is dusting off CD cases and talking about his favorite musician. I knew that scene made me emotional, but I couldn't put a pin in the fact that it was the avoidance.
A month ago I went home to see my grandma who is sick, and my mom and her five siblings were yapping on about what color to paint her cement garage while my grandma painfully choked down cottage cheese.
That substack on what people aren't saying, made everything click.
Right? And the emotion occurs when you allow the reader to make the connection you've been hinting at. When the reader's mind "clicks" that final puzzle piece into place, then you have something lasting.
Pumped to dive into this latest round of feedback!
And for future Gloves Off consideration: https://bryanwiler.substack.com/p/swimmers
Oh, and if it’s too long…please let me know so I don’t continue to bludgeon the comments with future requests for feedback on the same story?
Okay, you're in. I'll go long this time... but if Substack complaints it's on your head.
I’ll gladly give them my home address if they want to stop in to chat about it.
And thank you for agreeing to dig into Swimmers! Not sure I’ve ever been more excited.
Man, so many things. Off the top of my head, the things I've most enjoyed at least trying to incorporate:
--On-the-body
--Submerging the I
--Staying in a character's POV
--Describing the thing before naming it
--Morphing objects/resolving objects
--NOT resolving dialogue (probably the easiest one to get since it's so literal. Just don't let a character actually answer a question).
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole martyr/murder/witness thing. I recognize it when you point it out -- I love the idea of the phone being the murder victim in this story! -- but I don't think I'm there yet with figuring out how to get that trifecta down in my own fiction. (I'm going to consciously make that a goal going forward and see what I can do.)
As always, thanks. The above represents a weency fraction of what I've learned from you over the last couple years.
Maybe someone here can steer in a better direction as far as "On-the-body" details. Most of the time I resort to using default ways of describing physical sensations. Like...a sharp stabbing pain! I still don't know how to do it in a way that makes the reader feel the sensation.
You could try as an exercise just writing down details of how you experience physical sensations:
For example, the way that your head tilts back when you swallow, the tensing of the muscles in your throat, the wave-like roll of fluid and tension as whatever you swallowed (thick, sharp like not fully chewed potato chips, or thin like spit or water) and the warmth or coldness or fullness as it hits your stomach. Do your eyes shut when you start to swallow? Or just twitch a little?
I’m very much still trying to figure this out as well.
Please tell me you're still working on your doll story. With the dead milk carton kids.
I am. I got a little stuck on it for a while, but I just re-wrote the beginning last night. So now I feel like I have the momentum to finish it.
Consider the haunting quality of scent. It sneaks into our awareness and hits us with so many associations. Sight unseen, scent ambushes us.
Yes! Thanks for that reminder. I'm trying to include as much texture as I can (drippiness, stickiness, she just ate half a strawberry and put the rest back). But remembering to include smell is key. I'm just getting to the fun part where she goes for it and eats all the different things. I'll make sure smell is included. (And not just food. If I can think of how to describe the smell of opening the fridge door and smelling the cold and the milk cartons...)
Oh my gosh, I am so mad that I couldn’t respond to this the moment I saw the notification come in. To say that I was giddy that you reviewed my story is an understatement.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Chuck! Your feedback and comments were spot on as usual.
As I was reading through your feedback, I felt a pang of frustration/light bulb going off because your suggestions felt so obvious yet revelatory. Bringing back the diamond ring in the flashback that sets up the ending? Brilliant.
As others have mentioned here, this series has taught me so much. Submerging the I, On the Body, Choruses and Horses have influenced my writing deeply. I never know if I’m using the guidance correctly but I keep trying.
From Chicago, a huge, warm thank you for all that you do for this community. Thank you so much, Chuck!
Well done on the story mate. Very well written, I really enjoyed it. With the few tweaks Chuck suggested is gonna get even better. Nice one.
Thank you so much, Benjamin! Really appreciate you taking the time to read through it.
Aw, you're welcome. And you do have a gift for structure.
Submerging the “I”, establishing a clock, big vs. little voice. Using less or no thought verbs. Pretty much all the new work I do has the lessons you teach on here at the forefront. It’s beyond helpful and applicable. Plus, it’s fun.
I took a break from the internet for quite some time and am working my way through soooo many lessons you’ve cranked out this past year. Playing catch up. But it gives me something to think about every day.
Saul, I really like the story. I like the hashtag system, and the non linear approach. Well done.
Thank you so much, Erik! Admittedly I wrote this back when hashtags were barely taking off. They seem so ubiquitous now haha. Thank you for reading!
Thanks for sharing your work Saul, I look forward to seeing how you incorporate Chuck’s suggestions.
Thanks again Chuck. It might seem like you are repeating yourself in an echo chamber, but the more I see of your analysis in context, the more I feel like I understand.
The objects, their transformation, the underlying themes (horses) and how to emphasize these, this all seemed to make sense and I’m excited to apply this in my own work.
When I read Saul’s opening I thought about giving an on the body sense of the narrator driving, the feel of her wedding ring. Then I read your comments about this Chuck and I felt very smart.
I am a published author in Catalan and have been writing for many years now. Despite this, I have read books in English most of my life, including lots of books on the craft. So, I can't say I'm a stranger to most of the concepts and techniques discussed in this wonderful forum.
Yet, the way Mr. Palahniuk analyzes and discusses each of these elements in Plot Spoiler, Consider This, podcasts, and other broadcast media, is so lucid, engaging, and precise that you become a much better writer the instant you read or listen to him.
Whether you choose to use a tool or not, it's essential to know it exists and what it does. And Mr. Palahniuk is the best at explaining this.
To me, as a non-native English writer, Mr. Palahniuk's insistence on using active verbs and avoiding emotional tells or thought verbs in a story has been particularly useful. The idea that action carries its own authority. Or that language is not our first language. Man, this is pure gold! Especially for a voluble overthinker like me.
Also, I find the pointillist technique fascinating and useful, especially in the conception or rough draft stage.
For many years, I suffered from a bad case of writer's block because I couldn't refrain from trying to decide beforehand where a given jigsaw piece would go in the puzzle, or which puzzle at that. Even after finding the solution to the deadlock, reading Mr. Palahniuk's ideas and illustrations on the subject has continued to be enormously inspiring and validating.
So, yeah. This forum is a genuine treasure trove for all who love fiction writing and studying the craft.
Thank you. Decades ago, Tom Spanbauer wrote that his MFA program at Columbia taught him years of "hydrology theory" but it was Gordon Lish who finally taught him how to plumb together pipes. Tom hates Gordon, but Tom can't deny the usefulness of Gordon's storytelling advice.
Got it. Yet, let me make this clear: unlike Tom with Gordon Lish, I love you, as I love all the teachers—masters in their craft—who help me grow as a writer.
The first rule of Plot Spoiler is: Submerge the I.
The second rule of Plot Spoiler is: SUBMERGE THE I!
Third rule of Plot Spoiler: Use a gun and a clock.
Fourth rule: Escalate the tension
Fifth rule: Never filter the world through the narrator. Not I heard the bell rang, just the bell rang.
Sixth rule: Consider the narrator's body of knowledge and demonstrate that expertise.
Seventh rule: Is, has, was are boring verbs.
And the eighth and final rule: Just shit out the lump of coal.
I've learned so much here. Thanks to Chuck for all the wisdom and thanks to all those who were lucky enough to have a story selected for critique. One day.
All these blew my mind and demanded time to recover from. I, too, have the "throw out the 500,000 words of novels and work" I've got sitting around. Embarrassed, I'm swimming back through them, a page or two at a time. It's agony, but it's growing, getting better at something. "Learning is healing," today's thought. It's not "bad" to realize I can do better. It's healing a wound, giving a chance to grow.
It took me several years to understand what it meant to give your character’s their own voice and authority.
Once I let go of trying to control the plot and instead focused on writing a specific, authentic, burnt-tongued voice; it all clicked. Well…at least that part clicked.
Without this stack and the people I’ve met through it, I wouldn’t have gotten there.
Thanks for sharing, Saul. I could see the strong foundation in your story as I read. Now comes the fun part of putting up the rest of the walls and decorating!
Thank you, Matt! I agree, next step is to implement feedback. 😬
For me the big one has always been "Big Voice vs Little Voice".
It's about that change of texture that you need without even knowing it. Texture is everywhere. In your food. That apple pie you want to be a bit crunchy on top, but soft and hot on the inside. Those chocolate flakes on your milkshake. Your gelato. You look for texture in music. A nice melody with all those C sharp and F major, lyrics you can relate to. And then ka-boom. The drum hits you in the face. Then a guitar solo that hypnotises you. You look for a different texture also when you ask your partner if she needs anything from the shop, then you take the second turn left and Jane is buzzing you in to give you a messy blowjob. That's a change of texture too.
As a writer, a Big Voice is fun because you can drop in these asides of all kinds. Philosophy in pills. Sarcastic remarks. Side jokes. Anything that might pop into the main character's head addressing the reader directly. And as a reader, you feel closer to the narrator. To the story. Whether you realise it or not, you're more connected to the main character. Because it's You they are talking to, but in such a subtle way. All done walking that eggshell path paved between you and the reader. Big Voice, done right, it's like that genuine conversation that kicks in after a third beer. A bit intimate, a bit funny, a bit heartbreaking. All without losing that writer-reader spell that a story is all about. You know the writer is there, but you don't want to see her in any word. Otherwise the magic is lost, you don't believe anything you're reading anymore, and it was all for nothing.
Also, "Horizontal versus Vertical".
This is a bit hard to grasp, but for me the vertical is always that kick in the ribs you didn't expect. You're bouncing around your story with short snappy sentences, physical sensations and action verbs. You drop in a few asides. You make the reader giggle, you make them laugh. They're looking elsewhere, where you want them to look. But you're slowly planting some thoughts in their head. And they grow. And they grow. While you're holding their hand showing the world around, until you bring them in this dark alley to rip their heart off.
Vertical for me is about proximity to your heart. Think about it, you read the news, "A man in Guadalajara got hit by a bus." And your first thought is, "Should I get dumplings for dinner?"
A friend tells you that a guy in your town got hit by a bus. And you find yourself wondering, "Maybe I know him. Who was he?"
Then you get a phone call. It's the teacher from your kid's nursery. She's chewing words and swallowing her own tongue. Then she says, "I'm so sorry." She says someone left the gate open. Your daughter ran outside. No one had noticed. Until they heard the van hitting the brakes. Long streaks on the asphalt. She says, "I'm sorry, your daughter got hit by a bus." And you find yourself throwing up in the loo.
So yeah, Vertical is to make sure the one hit by a bus is not a man in Guadalajara but your daughter.
Also, for me is when I write a story, and I find myself sobbing like an idiot. It's my own story, I wrote it, I created it, but I still sob. That's pathetic but no one is watching anyway, so all good.
Thanks for everything, as always, Chuck.
Try on the term "mouth feel." Even if I love the flavor of something, and the scent, if the mouth feel is wrong, I won't eat it. Like drinking milk and having a clump of something solid hit my lips. Instant revulsion.
Perfect title for a next book: "Milk Revulsion".