59 Comments

What kind is it? All I can see is almonds.

Expand full comment

I see paper. You gotta have that fibre!

Expand full comment

Is that a cake or a pie? Looks very pie-like.

Expand full comment

Maybe it's more like a tart. With almonds.

Expand full comment
Comment removed
January 11, 2022
Comment removed
Expand full comment

That is the longest link in all creation.

Expand full comment

It's interesting how a food like pie carries a whole set of associations. I think of truck stops and a waitress named Marge. Cake, more of a celebration. Take a small slice. Probably too sweet. Tarte, something fancy. Never had a bad Tarte. Except Marge. Marge was a bad tarte. But in a good way.

Expand full comment

Proust.

Expand full comment

It’s my sacrifice. You’re welcome! I almost burnt it but then I remembered to do that with tongues, not dessert.

Expand full comment

Haha!

Burn the language, not the food.

That's good writing advice.

Expand full comment

What's in it?

Expand full comment

Hmmm.. an unexpected gift from a rival...I would hesitate before eating it. Does it happen to have a label "Eat Me?"

Expand full comment

Is that why I got huge and my arms and legs stuck out the windows?

Expand full comment

No, that was the steroids.

Expand full comment

So you got my reference and I got yours :) I was actually inspired by the famous novel.. Through the Cooking Class.

Expand full comment

Probably someone else trying to make almonds for a misconstrued joke.

I usually buy my desserts from bakers, but any torte in a storm.

Expand full comment

That made me laugh.

Expand full comment

It had darn well better have , that was the best "mix" I could come up with! (with you, I'll share my baking secrets).

I really thought this was a post and run.. you let the thread hang for a good 24 hours!

Hope that cake had better taste than your stories!

Expand full comment

PSST I heard a rumor that Chuck is trying to get people to write jokes so he'll steal the material and finally succeed at writing a humorous book.

Well, joke's on you, Chucky P, I offer you all my jokes willingly, for free!

Expand full comment
Comment removed
January 11, 2022Edited
Comment removed
Expand full comment

Hey, I need content. Draw your curtains next time.

Expand full comment
Comment removed
January 13, 2022
Comment removed
Expand full comment

No, wait, I said that.

Expand full comment

Where the fuck is the red dress photo?

Expand full comment

You tell me. I fear I culled it during an Ambien-fueled reaction to watching the program 'Hoarders.'

Expand full comment

Sounds like a bad excuse to me.

Expand full comment

I took Ambien in the hospital. I spent about 5 minutes talking to my friend until I realized I was alone and my friend was the bathroom door. In that 5 minutes I was sure that that door was my dear friend. :/ Space and time seems to melt together. How you manage to have a couple Ambien while you clean house and chill out with wine is quite an accomplishment in my book Mr. Palahniuk. Good times.

Expand full comment

You don't know the half of it. In Anchorage, I walked down eight flights of stairs at the Hilton (on Ambien) and had a drink in the bar while buying sandwiches -- all in my underwear with no memory whatsoever. That's why your mom says to always wear decent jockeys.

Expand full comment

Awww. That is just beyond darling.

Expand full comment

I'm currently taking Mirtazapine which is an antidepressant that works exclusively on the dopamine receptors. It's really helped my writing. I'm able to really hook into that "inner voice." I really have a more lucid imagination. It's been interesting.

Expand full comment

Speaking of photographing food sent to you, I saw that you liked M&Ms so I bought a big party bag of them and then threw them in the Atlantic Ocean. Not sure when they’ll wash up but, rest assured, they’re on their way.

Expand full comment

Please tell me you did not throw the bag in also....

Expand full comment

Chuck, what do you take me for? Of course I didn’t! I gave it to some kid on the beach so he could put it over his head and make-believe he’s an astronaut.

Expand full comment

Okay, who's passing out the plates and forks? We all get a slice right, Chuck? That's one of the hidden perks of being one of your Substack Scribes. I just came up with "Substack Scribes," does that work for you? I don't know lol

Expand full comment

If I make you a cake will you make me your protege lol

Expand full comment

If that were the case, I know the exact cake to make for Chuck. During an interview he said his favorite cake was a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting!

Expand full comment

That sounds simple enough.

I'll send it with a tub of vaseline and then it can be Guts themed.

Expand full comment

Oliver suffered through thirty weeks of Minimalist tirades. Be careful what you ask for. I am a terrible teacher who makes people cry.

Expand full comment

At least it's a purpose. I can take the tears.

Expand full comment

Again, I'd be careful before eating that cake.

Expand full comment

Considering it would have to travel through half the country, yes.

Expand full comment

Gotta another question for you, Chuck. Do you have any tips for writing subtext aside from pitting body language against words? Can subtext be created just in the line of dialogue itself? Or does it need that outside element i.e. body language/voice tone/actions?

Expand full comment

Also consider mixing a metaphor intentionally so that it becomes clear that something secret is being revealed in the comparison. "It's like when a little rabbit leaves the hutch on the way to his first day of school, but then the guy who runs the filling station near the bus stop pulls up and offers the bunny a ride, and it's raining so the rabbit gets in, and then nobody knows so the bunny goes through the next six grades with chlamydia."

Also, mix low topics with high language. And depict high topics with low language.

Or use "voicey" third-person to suggest a skewed narrator is telling the story.

There are oodles of ways to create subtext/tension.

Expand full comment

I think you mentioned this in Consider This but I can't find it at the moment. By high language with low topics, are you talking about using pretentious-sounding language with those 10 dollar words when depicting sex or drugs or illness, and so on? And vice versa.

Expand full comment

More or less. Look for the story "Prayer" I posted in October on this site. It uses high legalese language to tell a base story about sex.

Expand full comment

He made you a tart. Read that slowly.

Expand full comment

Looks reasonably delicious. Bon appétit.

Expand full comment

Is this a bittersweet attempt at cyanide poisoning?

Expand full comment

Who cares? It's a good tart.

Expand full comment

Hey Chuck. When you were first starting out and telling friends and family that you were writing a novel what was your response when people asked, “What’s it about????” Maybe it’s weird that this question stresses me out (and part of this is probably lack of experience), but it’s tough when you’re at a stage that *you* are still trying to figure it out. That and a lot of times the person asking doesn’t actually care that much anyway. So maybe there’s some bitterness in me that doesn’t want to tell someone what it is if they aren’t genuinely interested, you know, when you’ve worked so hard on something. Just write out a pitch and give them that and call it good?

Expand full comment

You bring up a good point. Often the "elevator pitch" for a story or novel won't do it justice. If I'd told people, "Fight Club is about people agreeing to fist fight in a basement." those people would sneer and walk away. Most times we need to execute the whole thing to know what it's really about. In the meantime, consider just telling them one small portion to see if it elicits their own stories. I.e., "It's about a man who fakes dying in support groups until he means a woman working the same scam for love."

Expand full comment

On Fight Club — exactly!! There were actually a few days where I looked up different prints of Fight Club to see what the different synopsis were written on the back. Before that I kept thinking to myself — this story (my story) is so complex, how the hell do I explain this to people when they ask? Then it dawned on me to look at Fight Club. Of course once I looked at it, it just gave me the reassurance that you can’t summarize something that crazy in a pitch.

I’ll try the story approach. In regard to telling a small part of it, do you say “part of the story is [insert explanation]” or do you work it into the conversation and say “a friend of mine had blah blah blah happen” rather than saying it’s part of your story? I’ve found that sometimes it seems like if I blatantly say something is part of my story, then it seems like people don’t know what to do with the conversation after I say that. (Or maybe I’m just that awkward!) Whereas if I say a small part of it, like you say — to test it, and I present it as it being true and happening to someone I know, then it seems like more often than not people are more comfortable in contributing to the conversation and playing their own story off of it. Do you do both and maybe it just depends on the setting?

Expand full comment

You know how you talk about crowd seeding, Chuck? About how truly good stories are the ones that get others to tell similar stories. That got me thinking one day. Wasn't crowd seeding the basis for the Me Too movement?

Expand full comment

Ah, if Joe Rogan could not make me go down that road, neither can you.... A mine field.

Expand full comment

But Chuck, I thought you adored frolicking through the mine field that is the human condition!

Ah okay, fine, I understand lol

Expand full comment

But basically what I was trying to do was to support your concept of crowd seeding with arguably one of the biggest examples of it.

Expand full comment