76 Comments
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As an overgrown child, I cannot wait for the spotted dick jokes.

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Can I stuff my face with your spotted dick?

That came out wrong.

Or did it?

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founding

😹😹😹

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Soooooooo right!

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I have never opened an email faster

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Neither did I? I actually got a notification lmao!

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So you are giving me my first spotted dick??? As if...

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Isn’t it always annoying at the dinner table when you avert your gaze momentarily, only to return it and find your gran’s lips wrapped around your scrumptious dick?

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Does it really taste that good? This is British Cuisine we are talking about.

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Considering I’ve never deviated from my strict diet of fish, chips, biscuits and tea, I wouldn’t know.

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You have never eagerly filled your mouth with some tasty dick? I have filled my mouth with some greasy and salty Dicks' before maybe it's just a Seattle thing.

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This mouth was made for nothing so crude. It exists solely to sing ‘Rule Britannia’ and to consume all that is related to sea men.

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So Admiral Nelson had you in a full Nelson and you that is how you had your first taste of the sea. Men are made that way or should I say sailors.

That is totally how the crossing the line ceremony works in the US Navy except Davy Jones holds us in a full nelson while King Neptune gives us a taste of the sea. Man it feels good to get that off my chest.

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I don’t know about all that. Captain Popeye just slipped me some of his fish fingers.

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So is spotted dick chewed, sucked, slurped etc.....

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founding

Flambe. You have to douse it in alcohol and pull out a blowtorch. Always"a" blowtorch. Never "your" blowtorch...

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I can't with you .....

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You sound like a messy eater.

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I am at that....

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Nothing makes your Sunday like my Grandma's Spotted Dick.

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Should give out some herpecin with those

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author

I can't wait to itemize this on my taxes...

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"Umm, Mr. Paulaynyuk, we have some questions about your expenses. Did you give a kangaroo herpes?"

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Allegedly. 😎

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I'm sure Chuck's CPA has gotten used to it at this point. The bigger standout would be the itemized expenses for the gun range field trip. I can see some fresh faced IRS agent scanning over his filing. All of a sudden he jumps up ands shouts. I KNEW IT! A few moments later the Director of the IRS is calling the president. Active the Durden Protocol.

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There is a tax-related inventory shrinkage joke lurking here.

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Neither can I. How do you think the IRS gets entertained?

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Genital warts joke **loading**

Catholic priest joke **loading**

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I thought this post was originally a fake-out for the quiz answers. Had to slam the brakes on posting answers and take second to recalibrate to posting dick jokes.

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God I haven't even had a chance to watch the movie! AAAAA..

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Could be that the post goes live at 3 a.m. (over here anyway). You could maybe complete the homework before the teacher comes to collect.

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Word! Life always finds a way. :p

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Dishes are done, man.

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You spotted Tracy? The Dick Tracy??? Well spotted, sir.

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Would you like some of my Spotted Dick to go in your Toad-in-the-Hole?

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I'm always telling people to eat a bag of dicks...it's my favorite pass time. I must stock pile as well...

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Degrassi!

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My Son's Mother made me watch like every season of next generation. Since the baby was still quite small we didn't have much else to do.

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☠️

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founding

So I guess no one’s told you that Lockheed has a hypersonic bomber program called Project Mayhem?

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Holy shit. It’s true!

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author

Shit! Shit! Shit!

If this is true my life's mission is accomplished. Gravy from here on out.

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