Few gifts from readers serve such useful lives. I believe the maker was a young woman. She loved the novel 'Choke.' Someday my ashes might even be entombed in this box -- if I can lose a few pounds. Help me find the maker, please!
It is not me Mr. Palahniuk. I wish I could say otherwise. It totally feels like it's my birthday though. I never thought of being a writer before. I've never been interested in writing until now. I started your workshop because I wanted to write pretty for my blog. I can't even tell people whats going on because I would sound insane. People would look at me like, "Are you high? Since when did you write?" I draw pictures an sew clothes. I do have a box ready to print and then ship though! Krispy Kreme Lube! lol
Writing is a lot like winning an international arms race. Timing, discretion and correctly sizing up your opponent within seconds is crucial. Understanding your audience/country and their capacity is extremely important. Once you understand that you can move them in increments to places they thought they could never go. Watching your opponents and not unleashing on them with everything you have is of utmost importance. Always heir on the side of discretion and reservation. If you go all out the game is lost and the game is over.
As Mr. P. explained sometimes you have to get dirty to enrich your craft. Go to the E.R., go to a support group. No one who plays clean wins. You wash out. Even Martha Stewart knows this. She's O.G. In an arms race its critical that you make illegal, under the table weapons dealings when you do not have the most power and strength. Just like my moms ash tray.
My urn story came from a lady in my addicts recovery group. I don't go there to exploit them. I do indeed go there for support as one does. Which is so Fight Club. I didnt even realize that until now.
Here's a dirty secret. Another writer friend tells me that debtor's court is the place to hear good stories. It sounds heartless, but people must tell a judge why they've defaulted, and why they should not be dinged for it. My friend says the stories are endless and filled with trauma. I've not gone... yet.
My blog has suffered because I'm now doing my own writing up in here thanks to Mr. Palahniuk's lessons. To quote the great Clay Davis "Shiiiiiiiit." Im doing my own thing. The only thing I wrote before this was resumes and school papers. And that dream was real and I'm as serious as a heart attack too. :p
Your tips are absolutely mind blowing to me. I wish I had a teacher like you 20 years ago. And you're doing it practically for free. I would have started writing years ago.
You can put just some of your ashes in this box. Put some in other things. Like a small hourglass. Then you can still participate in family game night.
Strange-but-true. Shirley Jackson's daughter once sent me a portion of her mother's cremains. The author of 'The Haunting of Hill House' and 'The Lottery' right there on my kitchen table!!! Such an honor.
That's so much more interesting than the ashes I've got on my table. Although once my mother-in-law's ashes were delivered to the wrong house. They had been made into a ceramic rose and shipped. We never received them. We waited weeks, then contacted the funeral home from another state to inquire, and they had our previous address. Said they'd been delivered a couple months earlier. So we're dying laughing, wondering if the people had opened the package, saw this beautiful ceramic rose and thought, "This will look great on our dining room table."
We contacted them and got mom back safe and sound (well, she was still dead). They'd never opened the box, the man put it in the back seat of his car to take it to the post office and return to sender, then forgot about. Drove around with wife's mom in his backseat for two months.
You know with everything going on I just can't believe Paula would betray me like that. We shared half done sewing pictures. She seemed so kind, sincere and helpful when I showed them to her. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust I suppose.
Such a heartfelt post, as sweet as the box itself. Who sells these boxes? Or atleast where did it get made? That's the first place I'll look. Or maybe, if you're lucky, find the record that contains names of every person at that tour. If you have her full name, there are some paid services online that can locate anyone anywhere ( Atleast that's their claim). I hope you find her.
Few gifts from readers serve such useful lives. I believe the maker was a young woman. She loved the novel 'Choke.' Someday my ashes might even be entombed in this box -- if I can lose a few pounds. Help me find the maker, please!
It is not me Mr. Palahniuk. I wish I could say otherwise. It totally feels like it's my birthday though. I never thought of being a writer before. I've never been interested in writing until now. I started your workshop because I wanted to write pretty for my blog. I can't even tell people whats going on because I would sound insane. People would look at me like, "Are you high? Since when did you write?" I draw pictures an sew clothes. I do have a box ready to print and then ship though! Krispy Kreme Lube! lol
Oh. And I do enjoy researching how to win international arms races in my spare time. It helps me think.
Writing is a lot like winning an international arms race. Timing, discretion and correctly sizing up your opponent within seconds is crucial. Understanding your audience/country and their capacity is extremely important. Once you understand that you can move them in increments to places they thought they could never go. Watching your opponents and not unleashing on them with everything you have is of utmost importance. Always heir on the side of discretion and reservation. If you go all out the game is lost and the game is over.
Oh. And the most important thing. Always aspire to acquire the most powerful allies. You're growth in understanding will be 10 fold ;)
As Mr. P. explained sometimes you have to get dirty to enrich your craft. Go to the E.R., go to a support group. No one who plays clean wins. You wash out. Even Martha Stewart knows this. She's O.G. In an arms race its critical that you make illegal, under the table weapons dealings when you do not have the most power and strength. Just like my moms ash tray.
My urn story came from a lady in my addicts recovery group. I don't go there to exploit them. I do indeed go there for support as one does. Which is so Fight Club. I didnt even realize that until now.
Here's a dirty secret. Another writer friend tells me that debtor's court is the place to hear good stories. It sounds heartless, but people must tell a judge why they've defaulted, and why they should not be dinged for it. My friend says the stories are endless and filled with trauma. I've not gone... yet.
I hope you write pretty for your blog!
My blog has suffered because I'm now doing my own writing up in here thanks to Mr. Palahniuk's lessons. To quote the great Clay Davis "Shiiiiiiiit." Im doing my own thing. The only thing I wrote before this was resumes and school papers. And that dream was real and I'm as serious as a heart attack too. :p
Your tips are absolutely mind blowing to me. I wish I had a teacher like you 20 years ago. And you're doing it practically for free. I would have started writing years ago.
You can put just some of your ashes in this box. Put some in other things. Like a small hourglass. Then you can still participate in family game night.
LOLOL I'm putting it in.
Strange-but-true. Shirley Jackson's daughter once sent me a portion of her mother's cremains. The author of 'The Haunting of Hill House' and 'The Lottery' right there on my kitchen table!!! Such an honor.
That's so much more interesting than the ashes I've got on my table. Although once my mother-in-law's ashes were delivered to the wrong house. They had been made into a ceramic rose and shipped. We never received them. We waited weeks, then contacted the funeral home from another state to inquire, and they had our previous address. Said they'd been delivered a couple months earlier. So we're dying laughing, wondering if the people had opened the package, saw this beautiful ceramic rose and thought, "This will look great on our dining room table."
We contacted them and got mom back safe and sound (well, she was still dead). They'd never opened the box, the man put it in the back seat of his car to take it to the post office and return to sender, then forgot about. Drove around with wife's mom in his backseat for two months.
Some unfinished road trip business?
What!?
You know with everything going on I just can't believe Paula would betray me like that. We shared half done sewing pictures. She seemed so kind, sincere and helpful when I showed them to her. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust I suppose.
I still have a necklace and a squirrel you sent me.
Those squirrels were nice. The red box, above, holds some of the stuff I make the necklaces with.
Oh my dear I want a squirrel!
I liken this new experience to Stefon and Seth Myers. lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NctoAyRDtzU
Such a heartfelt post, as sweet as the box itself. Who sells these boxes? Or atleast where did it get made? That's the first place I'll look. Or maybe, if you're lucky, find the record that contains names of every person at that tour. If you have her full name, there are some paid services online that can locate anyone anywhere ( Atleast that's their claim). I hope you find her.
I still check back, here, hoping the box's creator shows up...
I tried doing a google image search too. I thought I was being clever. No go.
May I use this box and particular story in my story that I'm currently putting together? https://cheapcrassdevilworshiper.substack.com/p/mr-greaves-jar