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Merry Christmas, Chuck! I think I may start a tradition of writing after everyone leaves and Christmas is done. 😊

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Working at the morgue I'd usually spend my whole holiday season putting people back together that were in horrendous car accidents that ripped them into shredded beef, or dealing with people that shoot themselves in the face with large caliber weapons ( thankfully I am good at forensic restoration ), or dealing with the leftover trauma of someone killing their entire family because of their own weird holiday depression, soooo I'd usually spend my holiday season decompressing by hanging people from hooks in my backyard ( it was consensual and they paid for it )

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Who the f**k consents to being hung on a hook in somebody’s backyard? Are you sure your job did not turn you into a crazy person?

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If you bothered to ever read any history books you would know that this has been a practice across various cultures and times. From the indigenous people of current day north america, India, and Norway. Self mortification as an on-ramp into exploring the capability and capacity of the human body isn't new or old, it's just ongoing. Look at the research of Stelarc if you want to see a scientist that had been doing suspensions on himself for decades to understand the effects of weightlessness on the human body.

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I think T.g had oddest non specific festival tradition sewn (LOL?) up here. Wow.

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I think getting drunk and binge shopping is a bit odder. But we all have different points of reference

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I bought over £100 worth of Superman comics from eBay one lonely, drunken, long ago Christmas, but I haven’t made a tradition of it… so far.

To be honest I’m more of a Batman guy anyway. 🤷‍♂️

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i am more of a constantine / hellblazer fan myself

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I love this! (not actually partaking, but the act itself) I've seen a fair bit about modern primitivism but never met anyone who's done it. I like the idea of an altered consciousness through a meditative practice. Amazing stuff.

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I kind of assumed the worst when I read what you said in the last part of your post. I watched the video you posted the url to in a different comment and now understand what you mean. It still surprises me that people would want to pay for you to do this to them, though. And I do know about history, but self mortification does not come up with what I learn about. I am curious, what’s the weight capacity of Skin? Because I’m really fat and if you used only six hooks on me they might tear.

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There isn't a weight capacity. It's all about optimization of load bearing. I've suspended 500 pound people. Or 200 pound people carrying 300 pound people in their arms.

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Sounds like you belong here. Merry Christmas to you!

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Happy holidays to you as well

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That’s the most metal Christmas ever!

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There is a lot of metal involved, but usually easy listening music.

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Yow. Beats watching another Perry Como Christmas Special.

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I am unfamiliar with that Christmas special. Though, I do hope you still have that penguin I gave you in new Orleans. I think that was literally when I started my mortician career.

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Oh My Gawd. Penguin picture coming. Complete with baseball autopsy stitches. And you seemed like such a nice person!!!!

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I am nice. Usually. I spend my time not at working doing art ( I had my first gallery show a month or two ago )

I spend the rest of my time adopting old end of life pups from the local shelter to take care of them and give them home cooked meals and all the love we can manage.

I still have all the stuff you sent me in your care package and those items still mean the world to me

Thanks for all the kind words and memories Chuck

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Same here. Penguin posed. Still as good as new.

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I'm still new to this app / website. Where can I see it? I'd love to crack up and see it again

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https://youtu.be/6vZ5_yj2W3o

Here's a link from a recent get together. Not any brutal metal music playing. Or loud, obnoxious people. Just three indigenous people finding solace in bonding by overcoming the fear of pain and scars.

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Patricia Cornwell????? Is that you......

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Thank you for your service?????

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Our was always to buy the youngest child an extremely small, very expensive gift. Wrap it in a small box, then inside a bigger box, then a bigger one and so on like a Russian doll. It was a right of passage to watch the frustrated child open up to ten boxes to get to a gold necklace or ring or Knickknack. Once finished and the work was done, my parents (and inevitably I) would say, no that’s so expensive it must have come from Santa. Then ask, “are you sure it was for *childs name*? Maybe we should wrap it back up and send it back to him?” Guess who cried?

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Also very merry Christmas, Chuck!

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Back at ya.

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Hey, I'm always up for tormenting kids.

In Lewis Hyde's 'The Gift' he explains how caroling was a Halloween-type form of extortion. If rich people didn't give singers money or decent food/drink, property damage could result.

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I even caroled when I was a child and never knew that. Our church did it for the elderly and house bound shut ins. I was pelted with many a snowball by schoolmates who happened by.

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I always thought that fur coats were gaudy, so good on you and your brother!

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My very non-religious parents would blast Go Tell It On The Mountain by the New Christie Minstrels every Christmas morning. It’s worth a listen. Merry merry!!! 🎄

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You should link us!

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I don’t think it’ll hyperlink (bc I can’t paste) but here: https://youtu.be/VoNyykleCZA

Be ready for a lot of tambourine. 😁

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Ah, the folk music era! We got blasted with The Kingston Trio.

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Not Christmas, but New Years Eve since 2012. New Year's eve at midnight, I'd offer sacrifice to the lake. It started when one friend fell in while trying to light fireworks off a Huck Finn raft. We had to paddle out to him in a canoe before he froze to death. The next year, same thing, different friend.

Every year, someone fell, and someone had to rescue them. Rinse and repeat until drunken highschoolers became drunk college students became drunken whatevers.

The obvious lesson is the lake is hungry. Definitely not, don't get drunk on a rickety raft when it's freezing out.

So I figured to mitigate the risk of the lake taking someone. I'd strip down to my undies, and hold the rope swing. Fatness Everdumb offering himself as tribute. Just like the people who take the cold plunge.

Besides, in my own little superstitious way, maybe feeding the lake would act as some magic equalizer. Virgins in volcanoes. Slit throats of goats. Think those except I get to climb back out, and rush to the hot tub, where there'd be a bottle of whiskey and pack of smoked waiting for me.

In case you're wondering, I dropped the tradition in 2020. Same goes for 2021.

Ask nicely, maybe I'll take the plunge and turn 2022 around for us.

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People now pay money for those inflammation-reducing cold plunges. But please, plunge away if that will help us.

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Kinda like leeches, bee venom therapy, or getting fecal transplants from indigenous Africans. Peak capitalism?

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Me? I'm happy with a simple foreskin facial (look it up).

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The day after Christmas, I play my 40+ year old vinyl copy of Star Wars Christmas In The Stars to mark the official end of Christmas. Everyone hates it so much in my house that it causes a visceral break from all cheer.

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As kids, it was my older sister and younger brother who'd stay up way past our parents. Then we'd sneak into the living room where all the presents were, steal our stockings and sneak back into the basement. There we'd open everything and laugh about what we were going to get later. Then re-wrap everything and sneak them back up into place until morning when we'd do it all over again.

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Merry Christmas Chuck!

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Merry Christmas Rob!

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The girls in my Catholic grade school wore white robes with blue chiffon scarves around our necks, and tinsel haloes, and sang Christmas carols at midnight mass holding little candles with cardboard collars to stop the wax from dripping on our fingers.

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Were you a mouther? (who only mouthed the lyrics) You can admit it.

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I sort of mumble mouthed. Totally non committal and resentful.

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As for Christmas pageants, it felt weird to wear my ratty bathrobe to school and be a "shepherd." I hear you.

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Happy Holidays Mr. Palahniuk.

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Happy Holidays Cheap!

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LOLOL

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Happy Holidays Crass <3

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This is awesome. Thank you Sir. lol

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Happy Ho Day!!!

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Hoe hoe hoe is right! LOL Put a smile on my face. Thank you!

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Merry Christmas, Chuck! My sister and I would squeeze the hell out of each other’s hands during the Our Father at midnight mass.

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Interesting. I wonder how many people created/suffered pain just to liven up the boredom of religion.

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December 25, 2021Edited
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Now that movie would provide a myriad of images for Christmas tree ornaments.

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December 25, 2021
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Kidman describing her fleeting thought of leaving her husband just to have one night with a hot dude she passed in a hallway. Damn.

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Good one! Masks orgies and all.

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December 25, 2021
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You know what's even stranger? Is the fact that that's probably someone's Tuesday evening.

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Makes my back hurt, just the thought of it.

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Let's not forget 'Less Than Zero' with the cocaine-fueled Christmas party and Brad Pitt as an unknown extra among the pool-side revelers.

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December 25, 2021
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Brad Pitt.....sigh ....my one guilty pleasure in life .........but I'm quite firm in my decision that Ed Norton has to play me in the movie version of my life. He is by far, the best actor that ever existed.

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And "Showgirls" is a Christmas movie. At the time they had to decorate the Stardust with out-of-season Christmas trees.

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I was just tweeting to Mr. Greaves... "I remember a porno where a guy dressed as a box of Cream of wheat gets blown by a nice young lady. It's called "Nightdreams" Give it a watch. Eyes Wide Shut has got nothing on this porno.

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Nice Christmas talk!

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I did, this year.

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Is an exorcism considered creating/suffering pain???? I had a Roman Catholic Exorcism lol because my Mom was Jehovah's.....I shit you not ....... Lolololololol

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Our family has started the tradition of watching Die Hard every holiday. Apparently my friend made a Die Hard Christmas tree ornament. It's a picture of Bruce Willis crawling inside an aluminum covered box, so it has the effect of Mr. Willis crawling through the vents in Die Hard. My friend put this ornament on the side of the church Christmas tree. When she came back later she found that someone moved the Die Hard Ornament to the front of the tree.

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We have this same tradition of watching the movie!

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Ha! It's a good one!

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It's amazing that's actually a holiday movie.

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Merry Christmas!

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Wouldn’t call it a tradition, but whenever we went to friends or families homes, I would eye the presents and change the tags on gifts. It was important they matched the wrapper and not get caught.

When my aunt got the electric razor, or when my dad got cotton white panties, oh the memories.

Lucky shot I guess.

Happy Holidays!

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That is so freaking awesome! Why I never thought of it, I dunno.

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Gifts from Santa that were passed on each year. There was a mug with "reindeer shit" at the bottom. And a tin of reindeer meatballs that had to be thirty years old. Those were the most memorable.

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Poor reindeer.

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Indeed! Just peacefully munching on some moss one minute, ground up into little bits the next. Still, I wish I knew where it was now. Might be fun to open...

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