Oh wow. I had no idea there was a polite term for it. Well, perineum, butt it just ain't as much fun as taint. Shanna Swan is the authority on anogenital distance.
Precisely. The hormones and soy in everything these days seems to play a big role in lower testosterone levels. On the other hand all the women I know who have "too much" testosterone are more attractive and more pleasant to be around. Maybe that says more about me than it does about them though 😂
Wait, no, I saw an ad on television that said Tibetan monks gobbled down soy and it made them happy and enlightened. Television wouldn't lie to us. So, yeah, I think you're wrong. You and Joe Rogan. I'll just go eat my soy now and cry. A lot.
Men need estrogen too, and Ive heard that estrogen blockers are no longer prescribed. Ive read that there is another hormone that is the culprit for gynecomastia and other ill effects in men from unbalanced hormones but I cant recall the name, and am too lazy to look.
I'm not sure about this soy theory but, maybe because I'm ignorant.
One thing tops to mind when it comes to what affected men to turn from a model of high testo aggro macho being, to a--still a masculine male but, very much in touch with his feminine side, didn't movies play a role here? movies post-Brando I mean.
I actually looked that one up haha Thanks for your "likes"! :) My favourite one came to me perhaps too late (about bottley harm). Chuck is my "mousse". He's really puttin my egg noggin through its paces. Have a great day!
Yes! And Ike and Cora Beth Godsey would give us credit toward a new china doll for Elizabeth, and typewriter ribbons to keep John Boy pecking away at night. A simpler time, it was.
Im some dude who grew up in a nowhere place on the border between the south and the midwest with my Great Uncle. At 29, I left and have lived in many places across the country the past 10 years, and came back once I found what I was looking for, a daily fiction writing habit. Thanks are due to Chuck, Sebastian Junger, and my friend Dale for encouraging me in one way or another. However, Im the one thats doing the thing every day, and Im gonna figure out a way to make creative writing my whole life or die tryin. Marketing writing isnt much fun.
This is really nice, Chuck. I never met any of my grandparents, they all died. My mom recently edited a collection of her father's poetry. It's sitting on the shelf in my closet and I can't quite bring myself to read it.
haha Cry me a river.. I just spent the last 45+ minutes binge reading Greener Pastures (I'm a bit behind, again for that infamous reason linked, ironically enough, to an egregious misreading).
What could be more apropos than your conundrum, given the most delightful part of the book so far (A tower of Babel's worth of snippets setting off fireworks within all my linguist synapses).
Maybe in a few more chapters (I'm on Lucky 13), you'll get around to French ;) (or is Esprit de l'escalier the whole extent of it).
The parents just gave their blood samples, so there's the family tree (in case you didn't get my pun haha) angle too! Whoaa!!!!! Maybe there's some kind of hallucinogenic drug suggestion buried in your serial story!
"D'ailleurs, je t'offre des traductions vers le francais gratuit"
Chuck: "Your French is awful."
BTW Why is there no comment feature on any of the Greener Pastures posts (making a classic hand gesture resembling a bird)?
If I lose my mind once and for all over all this, it'll be worth it. ;)
Thank you a million times over for sharing this, Chuck. I just came from my grandfather’s memorial this weekend. He was 91 and always encouraged me to be my ‘most honest self’. It’s always been the best advice.
Thanks. Needed this today. For a long time I second guessed myself a lot. Sometimes I still do. You start to learn eventually that you’re not the only one and that most other people are just better actors.
Jan 31, 2022·edited Jan 31, 2022Liked by Chuck Palahniuk
5 years ago my dream seemed impossible yet fairly simple and straight forward. Get sober. I would daydream about the days when I had a loving partner, money in the bank, and a reason to live. I took oxy, worked 10 hours and then took more oxy until the habit spun out of control completely. I've been sober for 2 years now and I did not think this day would happen. I'm certainly glad it did and I hope it stays this way.
Honestly it was mostly for monetary reasons. I was sick of being broke all the time. Suboxone is a great drug that helps take care of the withdrawals and is an alternative to methadone. Suboxone really helps to take away the cravings and it has sorta the same effect as an opiate. Opiates also took away every drive I had as a human. At my worst I weighed 78 pounds. I overdosed once and went in to the hospital for second time because I had several blood clots in my heart and lungs. I couldn't breathe. The doctors told me that it was too risky to operate and I was pretty much going to die. That's where and when I began my cracker fetish. Unfortunately I didn't die and now I have all sorts of problems I expected death to take care of. Now I have to worry about bills, what I want to be when I grow up, what food do I want to eat for dinner....It's a terrible disposition Sir.
Furthermore, it was easier for me to kick than most because of my upbringing. Both of my parents were heroin addicts and I saw how it devastated every part of their lives. I vowed never to be like them. Heh. After working for Apple for eight years I would tell myself little lies like "I just need a pill to take the edge off." "It will all be better with a 30mg pill." So that's how I started a heavy addiction in my mid-30s which is odd.
If I ever have the privilege of meeting you Sir, I will make sure to bring enough Suboxone for the whole class Sir and we can ride out the experience. Oh! Never take suboxone while you're high on opiates. You have to take suboxone when you are going through withdrawals. If you eat suboxone while you're high on opiates you're gonna have a bad time.
Hey, wait, woah. Dial it back to cracker fetish. I doubt if you mean the same warm feelings I have for the hillbillies in 'Deliverance.' Do you mean like Ritz crackers?
When I was in the hospital I was told I couldn't have any food due to possible surgery. Unfortunately for me the doctors were discussing whether to operate or not for three days. They forgot that I was fasting for surgery. I didn't have food and drink for three days, maybe four (time gets lost in a hospital) and no saline or or supplements to assist. I did, however, get to eat crackers at the end of the third day.
Now I have an unwarranted love of crackers and overvalue the taste and texture of crackers. My teacher told me “Put down your crackers for pictures, Candice.” I was triggered.
Graham crackers, saltine crackers. communion wafers, gold fish crackers...
PS: I love white boy crackers too. I grew up in the south so I even have my very own southern accent from time to time. And I posted my Cracker Fetish story on Jordan Peterson's Facebook and youtube page. I have no idea why he didn't respond back. :p
He wasnt taking much sub to begin with. Maybe 0.5-1mg per day. He doesnt take a ton of kratom, because the majority of people cant without getting sick. Plus if you dont get sick after eating too much its a dysphoric experience.
Other friends have used it to kick methadone and subs after tapering way down. Kratom for a couple months then clean. Less withdrawal days that way because it doesnt have the INSANE half life of opioid maintenance drugs. I went through two months of cold turkey off of methadone and it was not fun. Being hungover on top of methadone WD was the worst Ive ever felt in my entire life. Glad those days are long gone.
Super proud of you, and happy for making the change. Not trying to push you to quit maintenance. Just sharing info.
When I told my father that I wanted to write, he told me you're hallucinating.. forget about it. And my mother thought I needed an exorcism.
Now, writing aside, I'm still at the stage where I hate it as much as I love it.
My calling for the past 2 years has been Poker. It got me off weed and alcohol. If I tell my parents that I'm going to pursue playing cards for a living full time, they'll go way more nuts. Born to disappoint them.
Anyone notice that in old timey photos men generally looked more handsome than today? Higher testosterone levels back then?
Maybe true but, everyone looks good in black and white pictures.
That, and high definition does no one any great favors.
Maybe, the water wasn't saturated with micro plastics back then.
Phthalates from plastics have been killing sperm counts, and taint lengths since the 40s. Taint length is an accurate measure of fertility.
OK but measuring the taint to calculate fertility sounds like measuring the skull to calculate IQ.
It sounds preposterous, but it aint. It taint.
Me thinks you're looking for the words "anogenital distance." I'm fascinated by this stuff.
Oh wow. I had no idea there was a polite term for it. Well, perineum, butt it just ain't as much fun as taint. Shanna Swan is the authority on anogenital distance.
Precisely. The hormones and soy in everything these days seems to play a big role in lower testosterone levels. On the other hand all the women I know who have "too much" testosterone are more attractive and more pleasant to be around. Maybe that says more about me than it does about them though 😂
Wait, no, I saw an ad on television that said Tibetan monks gobbled down soy and it made them happy and enlightened. Television wouldn't lie to us. So, yeah, I think you're wrong. You and Joe Rogan. I'll just go eat my soy now and cry. A lot.
Men need estrogen too, and Ive heard that estrogen blockers are no longer prescribed. Ive read that there is another hormone that is the culprit for gynecomastia and other ill effects in men from unbalanced hormones but I cant recall the name, and am too lazy to look.
Prolactin is the culprit. I got unlazy.
That's the spirit!
I'm not sure about this soy theory but, maybe because I'm ignorant.
One thing tops to mind when it comes to what affected men to turn from a model of high testo aggro macho being, to a--still a masculine male but, very much in touch with his feminine side, didn't movies play a role here? movies post-Brando I mean.
He dairy you to follow your dream.
As the saying goes, you look kinda like the milk man, or was it the mail man?
Okay Karen, I feel like you are milking this udderly too hard.
I just let it flow. Like I did at the top of the comments about Toby. But I guess you got to take a day off sometime. 😜
I could come up with a milkin jokes a day. Someone will soon regret egg milking me on. 😆
Egg milking?????? Lol
I actually looked that one up haha Thanks for your "likes"! :) My favourite one came to me perhaps too late (about bottley harm). Chuck is my "mousse". He's really puttin my egg noggin through its paces. Have a great day!
Lolololololol you made my day.....
Hah! We had no mail carrier. Everyone had to hoof it to the post office to check their mail boxes.
Yes! And Ike and Cora Beth Godsey would give us credit toward a new china doll for Elizabeth, and typewriter ribbons to keep John Boy pecking away at night. A simpler time, it was.
Maybe the milk man could have doubled as the mail man, if he were going house to house!
(I am renowned for my world-changing ideas, especially in hindsight) ;)
And did the hoofing occur barefoot through a few feet of driving snow?
Im some dude who grew up in a nowhere place on the border between the south and the midwest with my Great Uncle. At 29, I left and have lived in many places across the country the past 10 years, and came back once I found what I was looking for, a daily fiction writing habit. Thanks are due to Chuck, Sebastian Junger, and my friend Dale for encouraging me in one way or another. However, Im the one thats doing the thing every day, and Im gonna figure out a way to make creative writing my whole life or die tryin. Marketing writing isnt much fun.
Thank you for sharing this - a beautiful message. 😊
This is really nice, Chuck. I never met any of my grandparents, they all died. My mom recently edited a collection of her father's poetry. It's sitting on the shelf in my closet and I can't quite bring myself to read it.
I know that impulse. My family never cracks my books, and it's just as well.
Thanks for sharing your family laiterie.
Now you make me Google a new word?
haha Cry me a river.. I just spent the last 45+ minutes binge reading Greener Pastures (I'm a bit behind, again for that infamous reason linked, ironically enough, to an egregious misreading).
What could be more apropos than your conundrum, given the most delightful part of the book so far (A tower of Babel's worth of snippets setting off fireworks within all my linguist synapses).
Maybe in a few more chapters (I'm on Lucky 13), you'll get around to French ;) (or is Esprit de l'escalier the whole extent of it).
The parents just gave their blood samples, so there's the family tree (in case you didn't get my pun haha) angle too! Whoaa!!!!! Maybe there's some kind of hallucinogenic drug suggestion buried in your serial story!
"D'ailleurs, je t'offre des traductions vers le francais gratuit"
Chuck: "Your French is awful."
BTW Why is there no comment feature on any of the Greener Pastures posts (making a classic hand gesture resembling a bird)?
If I lose my mind once and for all over all this, it'll be worth it. ;)
PS Bottley harm haha
Thank you a million times over for sharing this, Chuck. I just came from my grandfather’s memorial this weekend. He was 91 and always encouraged me to be my ‘most honest self’. It’s always been the best advice.
Thank you. One of my student's grandfather just died. This seems like the season, so I wanted to show support.
Thanks. Needed this today. For a long time I second guessed myself a lot. Sometimes I still do. You start to learn eventually that you’re not the only one and that most other people are just better actors.
Was he your biological grandfather or was he really the milkman? 😜
5 years ago my dream seemed impossible yet fairly simple and straight forward. Get sober. I would daydream about the days when I had a loving partner, money in the bank, and a reason to live. I took oxy, worked 10 hours and then took more oxy until the habit spun out of control completely. I've been sober for 2 years now and I did not think this day would happen. I'm certainly glad it did and I hope it stays this way.
Congrats on the sobriety! Here’s to many years more!
Please, tell me your secret. I'm lucky if I can go a couple weeks since the lockdown started.
Honestly it was mostly for monetary reasons. I was sick of being broke all the time. Suboxone is a great drug that helps take care of the withdrawals and is an alternative to methadone. Suboxone really helps to take away the cravings and it has sorta the same effect as an opiate. Opiates also took away every drive I had as a human. At my worst I weighed 78 pounds. I overdosed once and went in to the hospital for second time because I had several blood clots in my heart and lungs. I couldn't breathe. The doctors told me that it was too risky to operate and I was pretty much going to die. That's where and when I began my cracker fetish. Unfortunately I didn't die and now I have all sorts of problems I expected death to take care of. Now I have to worry about bills, what I want to be when I grow up, what food do I want to eat for dinner....It's a terrible disposition Sir.
Furthermore, it was easier for me to kick than most because of my upbringing. Both of my parents were heroin addicts and I saw how it devastated every part of their lives. I vowed never to be like them. Heh. After working for Apple for eight years I would tell myself little lies like "I just need a pill to take the edge off." "It will all be better with a 30mg pill." So that's how I started a heavy addiction in my mid-30s which is odd.
If I ever have the privilege of meeting you Sir, I will make sure to bring enough Suboxone for the whole class Sir and we can ride out the experience. Oh! Never take suboxone while you're high on opiates. You have to take suboxone when you are going through withdrawals. If you eat suboxone while you're high on opiates you're gonna have a bad time.
Hey, wait, woah. Dial it back to cracker fetish. I doubt if you mean the same warm feelings I have for the hillbillies in 'Deliverance.' Do you mean like Ritz crackers?
:) Oh dear Sir. I wrote a whole story for you a while back and thought you read it. It was in that Cracker post a while back. Here it is Sir. I have pictures to prove it. Pictures here Sir: https://cheapcrassdevilworshiper.substack.com/p/my-cracker-fetish
I fetishize crackers. Let me explain.
When I was in the hospital I was told I couldn't have any food due to possible surgery. Unfortunately for me the doctors were discussing whether to operate or not for three days. They forgot that I was fasting for surgery. I didn't have food and drink for three days, maybe four (time gets lost in a hospital) and no saline or or supplements to assist. I did, however, get to eat crackers at the end of the third day.
Now I have an unwarranted love of crackers and overvalue the taste and texture of crackers. My teacher told me “Put down your crackers for pictures, Candice.” I was triggered.
Graham crackers, saltine crackers. communion wafers, gold fish crackers...
PS: I love white boy crackers too. I grew up in the south so I even have my very own southern accent from time to time. And I posted my Cracker Fetish story on Jordan Peterson's Facebook and youtube page. I have no idea why he didn't respond back. :p
A friend traded Suboxone for kratom, FYI.
Oh no way. How much kratom is he eating?
He wasnt taking much sub to begin with. Maybe 0.5-1mg per day. He doesnt take a ton of kratom, because the majority of people cant without getting sick. Plus if you dont get sick after eating too much its a dysphoric experience.
Other friends have used it to kick methadone and subs after tapering way down. Kratom for a couple months then clean. Less withdrawal days that way because it doesnt have the INSANE half life of opioid maintenance drugs. I went through two months of cold turkey off of methadone and it was not fun. Being hungover on top of methadone WD was the worst Ive ever felt in my entire life. Glad those days are long gone.
Super proud of you, and happy for making the change. Not trying to push you to quit maintenance. Just sharing info.
Word. Thank you for such kind words.
That is the best advice and somehow the hardest to hear. I love you, man.
Thank you for the uplifting message definitely needed. Your grandfather was a smart man.
I love this so much. Thank you for sharing. We now know from where your handsomeness originated. ♥️
What a great name. He sounds like he should be a PI in some noir comic-book series.
And thanks for the words of encouragement. They always seem to come when your (my) faith is at its lowest.
Thank you for sharing. Never do anything else. ❤
When I told my father that I wanted to write, he told me you're hallucinating.. forget about it. And my mother thought I needed an exorcism.
Now, writing aside, I'm still at the stage where I hate it as much as I love it.
My calling for the past 2 years has been Poker. It got me off weed and alcohol. If I tell my parents that I'm going to pursue playing cards for a living full time, they'll go way more nuts. Born to disappoint them.