Round Three of Our Experiment

The Gene Splicing Begins

Now We’re Getting Somewhere!

We’re rapidly gathering a critical mass of Bios. These we can begin to mix and match, cut and paste, to assess how each creates a different effect when juxtaposed with other elements. Below, I’ve brought forward the first-round Bios, then inserted the second-round Bios in obvious relation. This is still rough, like the rough cut of a movie, but it will give you some ideas as you submit your Bios for the third round.

We might scrap the idea of alphabetizing them, or we might stoke the growing chaos by getting the alphabetical order wrong. As always, typos are my passion. Please see the following lable from a pie, sent to me by Leaux. Thank you, Leaux.

What’s Wrong With This Picture??

For Now, Here are the Origional Bios with the Second-Round Ones Added

Cheryl Chatterton, author of “Salutations of Distant Remembrance,” is the editor of the online magazine ‘Encouraging Good Behavior through Somatic Reinforcement.’ She penned her debut poetry collection, ‘Fond Embraces’ in the span of a sleepless weekend. When she is not organizing a family reunion as the Chatterton matriarch, Cheryl enjoys desert herb gardening and pebble painting. Cheryl lives in Sheridan, Wyoming with her son and daughter-in-law.

Pebble D. | Author of 'Anthropoidic Mycelium' and member of the North American Mycological Society. Enjoys going on mushroom forays and rock climbing. Included in the viral New York Times article titled, "2024's Biggest Plant Shows" photo bombing Cheryl Chatterton at the IFPA The Global Produce & Floral Show. Photo caught a rip in Cheryl's pants revealing hot pink leopard print and a liposuction scar.

Note: I’d prefer to vary long and short Bios. To bait the reader and avoid sameness. The placement here is only for our first draft. As we progress, feel free to riff on each other, and to edit/shorten your posts.

Genevieve S. Small, “Blink Twice If You See Me,” is also the author of several to-do lists she hasn’t gotten around to. She and her cat Lucy make their home in Brooklyn. This is her first published work.

Lucille van Ness, “A Familiar Tail,” moonlights as a bookseller in Greenwich Village and is always on the prowl for her next poem. Her recent work has appeared or is forthcoming in Blackbird, The Believer, and Passages North. In a previous life she oversaw the translations of Mark Twain’s musings. When she’s not composing found list poetry, Lucy can be found daydreaming on a fire escape in Brooklyn.

Note: It’s nice that a cat has become a character.

Helena Ellison: Contributing author of 'Historia Veneficii'. Enjoys rose gardening and country side driving. Winner of the Berkshire Conference of Women Historians Book Prize. Member of the Latin National Honor Society and the International Guild of Knot Tyers North America. Currently working on a modern translation of the Heptameron. Collects antique blades and spring lancets. Earned a bachelors degree in history and masters degree in historical forensics at Miskatonic University.

Percy Fish, "Queer Burials: Love and the Death Industry," wants to emphasize that his name is NOT a typo. It is not Fisher nor Fishbach - it's just Fish. Fish received his BA in History at Dunwich Community College and uses it to trace back patrilineal lines and to write about your gay ancestors for his blog. His essay, "Last Rites in the Atlantic," was nominated for the Pushcart Prize. Fish has never left the Massachusetts coastline, and he never will. You can see him sometimes if you're on a country drive. Can't miss him - he has the exact look of someone named Percy Fish.

Note: Lots of Lovecraft references to riff off of. In subsequent drafts these Lovecraft chunks won’t be lumped together, but will be parsed out at wider intervals.

J. J. J. Jackson, author of "Nosferatu on the Shore", writes unapologetic fiction in his cabin in the woods, and lives completely off-grid and self-sufficient. His work has been called, ‘intimidating’ by Witness Magazine, and ‘unfathomable’ by That Books Guy. Jackson does not have a web profile or an email address. All book queries should be sent to PO Box 115, Arden, Texas. Internet Search Engine results will not report that all charges were dropped, but they were.

J. J. J. J. Gowanus, author of 'Dracula, a Oral History' has numerous vampire stories but alas, most are unpublished unless you count JJJ Jackass Jackson's ripoff of Nosferatu at the Beach, his ripoff of Vampire Syndrome by J. Gowanus or his virtual mimeograph of Bloodsuckers Delight by again, J. Gowanus. You better stay off the grid motherf----er.

Note: Does the extra J make this in alphabetical order? I’d assume Gowanus would still go first. A problem to solve.

Larry Finkel, author of "The Everyday Politics of Candyland" can be found on his YouTube channel "Boardgame Everything." There he takes the time to explain the complexity of Clue to the rise and fall of the British Navy in Battleship. Please join us there.

Jerry Finkel, 'The order of the cards is set: Candyland, Birth Order, and The Illusion of Free Will', is the totally underappreciated younger brother of failed YouTube influencer Larry Finkel of "Boardgame Everything." Jerry is currently a student at Harvard University, with a full scholarship and a 4.0 GPA. Not that their dad gives a flip because he's too busy fawning over that idiot's stupid internet fame. Oh yeah, and while that lazy dirtbag is editing his dumb videos, who makes time to mow the lawn and trim the hedges? Not Larry. Who takes Mom out to dinner on Mother's Day? Not Larry, never big famous Larry.

Note: Nice. This devolves to the detailed petty tirade shit we’ll be working toward. I’d love to see more of this rivalry and detailed gripes in the third round.

Liasa Leuken, ‘Her Story Wasn’t History’ and ‘Sheets of Sapphic Sheets of Yonic Sheets of Spells’ and ‘Unphallic Hill’ Is an MMC Trinity graduate who completed her double PHD studies in ‘Traditional Power Pre-Patriarchal Constructs’ along with a medical/anthropological/non-secular PHD in ‘Dianic Phallo-Constructs’. She runs a coastal-forest resort dedicated to the sacred connection that can only be found between HER with the Gaiaic Body. For inquiries: She inquires only.

Michael Northrop, ‘The Cost of Love’, began his MFA studies in his mid-twenties but never completed his degree, choosing instead to support his (now ex-)wife and maintain the household while she earned her dual PHDs in ‘Traditional Power Pre-Patriarchal Constructs’ and ‘Dianic Phallo-Constructs’, which seemed like the honorable thing to do, but in retrospect was hugely counterproductive. Between ten-hour shifts, grocery shopping, lawn work, cleaning, turning wrenches, pet care, and doting on his former beloved, he’s been able to eek out some time to pen the above, along with such stories as ‘How Could I Have Been Better?’, ‘The Myth of The Good Man’, ‘Come, Talk To Me’, ‘How Much Longer Must I Do This?’, and the poem ‘Tonight, It’s The Stranger For Me.’ He is currently seeking representation, both legal and literary.

Note: This seems to suggest Michael and Liasa were an item. I loved how it devolved into a litany of chores and whining.

S. S. Riley, 'The Undead Mistress of the Kennedy's', M.Ed., MT(ASCP)SM, working on a PhD in Supernatural Science. Look forward for their debut novel, "Ghost Abortions for Sale!", coming this winter. Preferring to let their work speak for itself, S. S. Riley is a pseudonym.

Vivian S. Vaine, 'Plan Boo,' is a self-taught expert in the strategic use of supernatural phenomena and jump scares for late stage family planning. Even though her methods are more effective and controversial than any of the outdated information you'd find in books like "Ghost Abortions for Sale!", and despite the fact that Vivian writes actual true things and not just fiction, she still has the courage to use her actual name. Pseudonyms, she firmly believes, are tacky and for cowards.

Note: Once these two Bios are spaced wider apart, seperated by other Bios, this will work better.

This Beats Playing “Telephone”

Thirty years ago, glossy magazines often got the brainstorm to hire several fiction writers and have them collaborate on a shared story. One writer would kick-off the first portion, then pass it to the next for additions, then the story would be passed along, writer to writer, until it was terrible. A mismash Frankenstein’s monster of styles and voices, each writer trying to “rescue” the plot. These stunts never worked.

But with About Our Contributors we’ve got complete freedom to order and reorder the Bios. The effect will be more subtle when we don’t see the call-and-response baiting so close together.

Now We Move Into Our Third Round

See the current Bios in the Comments below, and add additional Bios. Always keep length in mind. Shorter and pithier is better. How can you escalate the relationships? How can you suggest the threat of real peril?

This next week, November 23rd, I’ll be at the Dark Delicacies bookstore in Burbank, CA. For location and background, click here. The plan is to be there from opening at 11 AM until closing that night. I’ve shipped down loads of freebies, but … while supplies last. Please stop and say hello if you’re in the neighborhood.