Cheryl Chatterton, author of “Salutations of Distant Remembrance,” is the editor of the online magazine ‘Encouraging Good Behavior through Somatic Reinforcement.’ She penned her debut poetry collection, ‘Fond Embraces’ in the span of a sleepless weekend. When she is not organizing a family reunion as the Chatterton matriarch, Cheryl enjoys desert herb gardening and pebble painting. Cheryl lives in Sheridan, Wyoming with her son and daughter-in-law.
Pebble D. | Author of 'Anthropoidic Mycelium' and member of the North American Mycological Society. Enjoys going on mushroom forays and rock climbing. Included in the viral New York Times article titled, "2024's Biggest Plant Shows" photo bombing Cheryl Chatterton at the IFPA The Global Produce & Floral Show. Photo caught a rip in Cheryl's pants revealing hot pink leopard print and a liposuction scar.
Dirk Morehead, author of "Just Say We" is known for his stories of unrequited love and French kissing, many written during the same "sleepless weekend" that Cheryl Chatterton wrote "Fond Embraces", as mentioned in her bio. Cheryl, please call me, s'il vous plait.
Pebble D.| author of the brand new "White Guilt: Tips on how to tolerate minorities" is a contributing writer for the hottest magazine "W.A.S.P-Y Rich & Loving It" When she is not writing and exploring new & in-your-face ways of being white, she can be found giving makeup lessons to the less fortunate, poverty stricken minorities across the tracks and then writing about her experiences as a white savior.
Pebble D.| "Chatterbox Devil" A coming of age account of her Beverly Hills high school experiences. The memoir offers up dishy tales of a thinly vailed popular best friend named "Sheryl Chatterbox" who never could seem to keep her mouth shut, stole all her sweethearts, pretended to act like she had no idea she was wearing the same exact fantastic vintage Chanel dress on prom night and made up lies about poor Pebble being a cheap slut, which pretty much ruined Pebble's whole life.
Sister Sheryl Tchatterton, 'The other Cheryl,' is a Catholic Nun, who serves god at 'Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Parish.' Sister Tchatterton is not to be confused with poet Cheryl Chatterton of Sheridan, Wyoming. Yes, both of their butts look remarkably similar in pink leopard print, so what?!
Dudley Trank, 'Water Your F'ing Lawn,' doesn't have time for unshaved pits, hippies on mushroom highs, or anything remotely leopard. In his spare time, serves as Mayor of Sheridan, Wyoming, and enjoys a good nap.
Calvin Klein, ‘Calvin Klein’ will be printing a sequel to his coffee table book, ‘Calvin Klein’, that will include a three-piece photo series of Cheryl Chatterton in basic Egyptian-cotton leopard-print panties. Each photo will be an exploration of the accidental, an exploration of the cover-up, and an exploration of the ’horticultural sportsmanship’ witnessed at such events. Under each print of Cheryl will be three poems reprinted from Cheryl’s collection ‘Fond Embraces’.
Emma Estrada: M.S. in investigative specialization from Columbia Journalism School. Screenwriter for the new hit TV series, "Celebrity Break-ins." Pilot episode features Pebble D. snooping through Chatterton's home before the 2024 Plant Show while Cheryl was vacationing to the Corn Palace.
Emma Estrada: Author of 'Undercover Celebs.' M.S. in investigative specialization from Columbia Journalism School. Screenwriter for the new hit TV series, 'Celebrity Break-ins.' Pilot episode features Pebble D. snooping through Chatterton's home before the 2024 Plant Show while Cheryl was vacationing to the Corn Palace.
Pebble D. | Author of 'Anthropoidic Mycelium' and member of the North American Mycological Society. Enjoys mushroom forays and rock climbing. Photo bombed Cheryl Chatterton at the IFPA The Global Produce & Floral Show. Photo caught a rip in Cheryl's pants revealing hot pink leopard print and a liposuction scar.
Genevieve S. Small, “Blink Twice If You See Me,” is also the author of several to-do lists she hasn’t gotten around to. She and her cat Lucy make their home in Brooklyn. This is her first published work.
Lucille van Ness, “A Familiar Tail,” moonlights as a bookseller in Greenwich Village and is always on the prowl for her next poem. Her recent work has appeared or is forthcoming in Blackbird, The Believer, and Passages North. In a previous life she oversaw the translations of Mark Twain’s musings. When she’s not composing found list poetry, Lucy can be found daydreaming on a fire escape in Brooklyn.
Luna Caynem, author of, "More Than One Way to Skin It," has always preferred prose to poetry. Believing that city life is better suited to alley dwellers and dumpster divers, Luna resides in rustic New England.
Genevieve S. Small| author of "My Fur Soul," explores the dichotomy of domesticated house cats. Her dear Lucy, both a wide-eyed darling fur ball but also a killing machine of every small moving creature that dares come close to the apartment building. She receives at least 5 gifts from Lucy a week in the form of half dead birds, live birds, dead rats, half-dead rats, baby bunnies, horse flies and guts from unidentifiable, small creatures.
Rocky Slobbers, "Chasing Pussy," is a really good boy. Such a good, good boy. He stands guard in his alleyway in Brooklyn. He's the best good boy, chasing away most of the ally cats. Now, if he could just climb ladders...
Clive Lathrop, "Familiars Unseen: A Witch's Best Friend," uses his BA in Folklore to write essays meditating on modern-day mythmaking. That does not pay the bills. Doesn't even make a dent. To make ends meet, he works as a maintenance man for a series of apartment complexes in Brooklyn. Every day, he dreams of writing to distract from all of the dead vermin he has to clean off the fire escape.
Sam Longhorn, “Connecticut,” channels an America the rest of us forgot. Critics call him a poet “wise beyond his years” (Brooklyn Herald). Sam prefers the term “yarn-spinner.” He currently distracts himself from drafting his debut novel by running workshops in Greenwich Village and plotting the rescue of his neighbor’s neglected cat.
Mo Oberley: Biologist and freelance lab scientist. In his recent release "Cats from Test Tubes," he interviews Genevieve Small about her DIY home genetics lab and the morality of expanding Lucy's prefrontal cortex capacity despite her low amygdalic functioning. Gen also shares who's next on her genetically modified to do list and announced author J. J. J. J. Gowanus volunteered.
Jenny Asterberry, ‘Roommate Issues: When The Kitty Litter Won’t Change Itself’ with the recent posting ‘Your Cat Did Not Write That Bio, So, No You Can’t Blame That One On The “Dog”’ has attempted everything from Haitian Voodoo to Midwestern Canadian Zen and has found that enough is enough. The smell is causing her to blink more than twice. The next time she blinks, Jenny hopes to open her eyes to an apartment empty of Genevieve.
Lyza Ule, 'Cover Your Work,' is the Hawthorn Mable Exemplary Presidential Author. 'Youth Can Absolve Sins,' her lowly offering to Sir Turing has awards now. Kode's simple.
Helena Ellison: Contributing author of 'Historia Veneficii'. Enjoys rose gardening and country side driving. Winner of the Berkshire Conference of Women Historians Book Prize. Member of the Latin National Honor Society and the International Guild of Knot Tyers North America. Currently working on a modern translation of the Heptameron. Collects antique blades and spring lancets. Earned a bachelors degree in history and masters degree in historical forensics at Miskatonic University.
Percy Fish, "Queer Burials: Love and the Death Industry," wants to emphasize that his name is NOT a typo. It is not Fisher nor Fishbach - it's just Fish. Fish received his BA in History at Dunwich Community College and uses it to trace back patrilineal lines and to write about your gay ancestors for his blog. His essay, "Last Rites in the Atlantic," was nominated for the Pushcart Prize. Fish has never left the Massachusetts coastline, and he never will. You can see him sometimes if you're on a country drive. Can't miss him - he has the exact look of someone named Percy Fish.
Eleanoire Splendins, ‘Piscis In Name, Dagon In Vein’ with her contribution to Historia Veneficii ‘The Blood Of The Deep One, The Cleansing Of The Shore’ has been waiting for such a fish to wander along the shore. After losing her twin brothers, Nos and Natos, to the shores of Innsmouth, Eleanoire has laboriously mastered, through the far superior Miskatronic School Of Chaos, rituals that can undo all that those before have undid. The following quote is from Eleanoire Splendins at her graduating ceremony, “The undoing of blood can be undid with the blood of those that did.”
Reginald Hircan, 'Modern-Day Assassin,' recently earned Elite Status in Krav Maga tactical knife fighting. Fluent in Latin, French, and English, his influential piece 'What You Got Wrong About Margaret, Queen of Navarre' was a warning shot at would-be translators bent on tackling the Heptameron. Abhors driving, unless we’re talking about a knife into a chest. Makes his home on an unnamed island located at 47°9′S 126°43′W with his dog Emma. Come say hi...
Olivia West, "Murder On the Road," resides in Arkham, MA. She works as a journalist at the Arkham Gazette, where she received numerous accolades for her reporting on the "less dead." The forgotten stab victims left by the roadside with roses in their mouths, and those that wash up to shore with throats clawed open. She dreams of one day winning a Pulitzer.
Quinn Gilman: Magician and author of 'Horrors of Tindalos.' In a recent interview he claimed he could escape any knot and challenged Helena Ellison to tie him up. Paparazzi photographed him and Ellison at Percy Fish's Dreamland Bash. Gilman has been reported missing.
J. J. J. Jackson, author of "Nosferatu on the Shore", writes unapologetic fiction in his cabin in the woods, and lives completely off-grid and self-sufficient. His work has been called, ‘intimidating’ by Witness Magazine, and ‘unfathomable’ by That Books Guy. Jackson does not have a web profile or an email address. All book queries should be sent to PO Box 115, Arden, Texas. Internet Search Engine results will not report that all charges were dropped, but they were.
J. J. J. J. Gowanus, author of 'Dracula, a Oral History' has numerous vampire stories but alas, most are unpublished unless you count JJJ Jackass Jackson's ripoff of Nosferatu at the Beach, his ripoff of Vampire Syndrome by J. Gowanus or his virtual mimeograph of Bloodsuckers Delight by again, J. Gowanus. You better stay off the grid motherf----er.
Kurt Potter, "Why Your Stories Suck: the dilution of vampire folklore in modern literature", is the brains behind podcast That Books Guy. Potter has had the misfortune to host both J.J.J. Jackson and J.J.J.J. Gowanus on his show and does not see the point of tussling over "Nosferatu on the Shore" a.k.a. "Nosferatu at the Beach". Both versions are dreadful. Please stop.
J.J.J.J. Jay Jameison Jr., ‘Nosferatu In The Store’ and ‘Dracula, A Moral History’ is gonna take both Jackson and GowANUS down a J’ or two. J.J.J.J Jay Jameison Jr.’s ‘From Imposter To Vampire’ was first ripped by GowANUS and then further sullied by Jackson. J.J.J.J. Jay Jameison Jr. is no longer an imposter. J.J.J.J Jay Jameison Jr. is following this trail of plagiarism so that he can “rip off”. J.J.J.J Jay Jameison Jr. will leave a trail of blood that Witness Magazine will call an “unfathomable” warning.
Richard J.J.J.J.J Norris, the author of 'Judge, Jury, and Jealousy: The J.J.J.J. Gowanus story,' is the original writer of every single last thing that J.J.J.J. Gowanus has ever claimed to have written, including 'Dracula, a Oral History.'
LEGAL NOTICE: At the date of publication, Mr. Norris's allegations remain unproven, and he, himself, is currently being investigated for his suspected plagiarism of 'Nosferatu on the Shore' by J.J.J. Jackson.
J^♾️, Supra-Nasferatu of the Most Supreme Nasferatu of the highest reigning Nasferatu Order of the non-secular vampiric order, the “Ordained Order of The Highest Undead Order” (referred to here in as “The Order”) with order over the most ordered and orderly and oldest and eldest of all orders, and their outcomes, including all mentioned and associated states of “undead” and all states regarding any and all interactions/references to/with the undead, including, but not limited to: familiars, werewolf disagreements, werewolf agreements, werewolf ambivalence, vampire slayers, vampire traitors, vampire layers( here in referred to as “fang bangers”), Anna Paquin, Anne Rice, Anecdote “attempts” to Vampyrism, politicians of left or right order, politicians of no order, politicians of humanitarian orders, politicians of religious orders, peoples of monotheistic orders, people of old east European orders, people willing to cross non-geographical boarders( unless its is a chase across a non-order boarder of “The Order”), human hoarders( J^♾️ would like to remind all vampires that yes, again, that he is once again asking all vampires, to please focus on the hoarders for food. The body is easy to hide and the sun has the lowest rate of appearances in a hoarder’s home, keeping one, or many, safe while reducing the likely-hood of claims. The Order members have found that it takes, on average, almost a full month for a body to be found after a “body” has “gone” missing in a hoarder’s home. Imagine that? In their own homes? Well, see, that’s a lot of unpacking for an investigator to do. Most of the average hoarding cases will have ample material to hide the human husk under. Lots of boxes and plastic grocery bags full of reusable grocery bags. Mountains of books — please note that all vampire related literature must be reported to The Order— and mountains of magazines and everything any tear of anxiety will cling to, will be there for one to cover one’s fangs with. And thereby, giving The Order one less reason for an “Ordered re-Ordering” ( Here in referred to as an “O-O” pronounced “oh-oh”) inspection. Please realize that by the time the bodies are found the decomposition does a remarkable job of “deleting” any “prints” and that no extraneous “cover” should be taken on to ensure one does not interfere with one’s insurance policy), human prey, animal prey (with the exception of bats or any other flying “rat” that is mistaken for a bat such as flying foxes. Cats, as well. Don’t touch. Cat’s got fangs. Vampires got fangs. Vampires got an agreement with the Supreme Order of the Highest Order of Crones(…) to not touch cats either. It is understood that some claim a spell has been cast on The Order so as to forbid the sucking on cats. Any questions of The Order will have to be filed through the Registrar Liaison Officer’s office during regular familiar hours.) human-child prey, and any and all prey that could succumb to any or all entities that can be collected under the umbrella term “vampire” and all other terms suggestible/susceptible of/to vampirism, knows the Nosferatu. J^♾️ has written all books on Nosferstu that exist across all time that reach back into the first glimpse of memories to the furthest future where all imagination will dwindle and decease. All books written in that mind-span are his. All “writers” of Nosferatu are mediums he was/is/will be using to write any approved Nasferatu related material owned and regulated by The Order. Any, and all, references to Nasferatu not channelled by His Supra Nosferatu order of “The Order” is considered plagiaristic/appropriatic/illicit by “The Order” and liable to the full extent of both human, and Orderly Law. During an Orderly Ordering, J^♾️ was quoted “Tell those posers —Jackson, GowANUS, Potter (non Harry), Jameison Jr., Norris— to lawyer up ‘cause we’re chomping down.”
John Fang, “The Count, Revamped,” makes his long-awaited and watered-down horror debut after decades of hard-boiled thrillers and the loss of his previous manuscript, “The Count.” The Courts eighty-sixed the original “Count” after the publication of J. J. J. Jackson’s “He, The Count.” Folks, don’t you think J. J. J. Jackson publishes too frequently to be creatively self-sufficient? Ever read a talentless hack? Read the latest on Jackson’s corruption, his sycophantic publisher, and his servile Texas Court Kangaroos on my blog – The Grid. A wanderer, I stalk through Arden, Texas.
I've gotten so used to my contacts app which alphabetizes by first name so J.J.J. would come right before J.J.J.J. I think some other apps also do it that way. Although I guess a book editor would not.
Q.Q.Q. Jackson, 'Possessed By Norman Mailer' , a collection of poems on the lost art of manliness. A collection that should be read by that sissy J.J.J.J. Gowanus. The only original thing produced by that guppy was a pool of piss and shit after he was choked out by J.J.J. Jackson with a sick Darce choke at the East Plano BJJ Open.
J.J.J.J. Jonathan Harker, author of The Real Night Stalkers Among Us, resides in London when not on extended travel. On to you Jackson/Gowanus or should I say Graf Orlok. Google Earth shows me there are 64 properties in greater Arlen that are not on the grid. See you soon for sunrise cocktails.
Larry Finkel, author of "The Everyday Politics of Candyland" can be found on his YouTube channel "Boardgame Everything." There he takes the time to explain the complexity of Clue to the rise and fall of the British Navy in Battleship. Please join us there.
Jerry Finkel, 'The order of the cards is set: Candyland, Birth Order, and The Illusion of Free Will', is the totally underappreciated younger brother of failed YouTube influencer Larry Finkel of "Boardgame Everything." Jerry is currently a student at Harvard University, with a full scholarship and a 4.0 GPA. Not that their dad gives a flip because he's too busy fawning over that idiot's stupid internet fame. Oh yeah, and while that lazy dirtbag is editing his dumb videos, who makes time to mow the lawn and trim the hedges? Not Larry. Who takes Mom out to dinner on Mother's Day? Not Larry, never big famous Larry.
Berta Finkel, author of “Sons: The Heartbreak and the Glory,” would like nothing better than her boys to make nice. She’s proud of both of them equally. From Larry she gets lots of free stuff he calls “swag,” but Jerry gives her more kisses. Both of them are available and ready to have a baby, girls!
Tammy Goodwill, 'Twin Flame Games.' details her trials of being labeled a "home-wrecker' and 'harlot' after breaking up Larry Finkel's marriage at the the height of his online stardom. The now divorced Tammy dishes out her side of the story where she labels Berta a depressing nag and how Jerry devolved into an insufferable bore who only understood life if it was being filmed.
Opal Risk , 'Sex Tartare, with a side of brother', writes erotic tales of lust, betrayal, and infidelity. She has chosen this bio to announce the fact that she is in a profoundly sexual and emotional relationship with the acclaimed author Finkel. Since it was soooo important that she stop keeping him a secret, she really hopes this puts his insecure mind at ease. Love you, Finky-poo.
If this one were to be selected, I wonder if placing it after the first Finkel brother, but before the second would be a good idea. My thinking is: it does two things, it misdirects the reader into believing that its the first Finkel brother who was insecure/being cheated on (the reader not knowing yet that there is a second Finkel). Additionally, by breaking the alphabetical order, it would play to the inferiority complex of Finkel number two, always overlooked and finishing last. Never in his rightful place. Just brainstorming here :)
Marjory and Vince Finkel, 'Estate Planning for Childless Millionaires', are not going to change their minds. Upon their demise, the entirety of their assets will go to their beloved dachshund, Pickles. Larry and Jerry, you know what you did.
Marjory and Vince Finkel, 'Estate Planning for Childless Millionaires', are not going to change their minds. Upon their demise, the entirety of their assets will go to their beloved dachshund, Pickles, unless Larry or Jerry actually grows the stones to step up and solve Mommy’s little problem. You know what needs to be done.
Mary Finkel, 'Finger Snaps,' coaches middle children who have seen too much. She received a double BA in Psychology and Art Therapy from Emerson College where she started the theater troupe Finger Puppet Players. Their debut rendition of The Vagina Monologues inspired Mary to write the Etsy coffee table book sensation 'I Made This: Breakthrough Creations.' She's currently collaborating with Netflix on an exposé based on her past involvement with "Boardgame Everything."
Kiran Goleman: PHD psychologist and author of "The Hasbro Code." This new release discusses being an adult child of author Jerry Finkle. Growing up, his father used UV lights and lit candles to uncover hidden messages and clues on mass produced game boards. His dad sued Hasbro after their family home burnt down.
Tanya Trump, previously Tanya Finkel, author of ‘House of Cards, House Of Thrones: The Marriage is How You Get Your Game’ wants her “board game” boring “4.0 GPA” brothers to know that their sidelining, short-dicked ways are why SHE is now First Lady of The United States Of America. Pew-Pew retards, she laughs. Tanya wants her “bros” to know that they are now her subjects because of how she played the game that her “no-balled balls” had, and still has, the balls to play. Tanya would like her brothers to know that dad just sent her a text. Tanya’s text from daddy says, “Go get ‘em son! I always knew you were my favourite champ of the fam camp. 🥲.” Tanya would like to remind her brothers that the only other time that their dad ever used an emoji with tears was when gay marriage became recognized nation wide and Tanya’s Brothers’ girlfriends told her simp brothers to tell daddy to “shut up bigot”. Tanya would like to remind her brothers that THAT her brothers surely did. Well guess what, asks Tanya, Princess Champ sees it as her right to be a bigot. A really big, “no-balled balls” “son” of a ballin’ type of bigot bitch, bitches!
Liasa Leuken, ‘Her Story Wasn’t History’ and ‘Sheets of Sapphic Sheets of Yonic Sheets of Spells’ and ‘Unphallic Hill’ Is an MMC Trinity graduate who completed her double PHD studies in ‘Traditional Power Pre-Patriarchal Constructs’ along with a medical/anthropological/non-secular PHD in ‘Dianic Phallo-Constructs’. She runs a coastal-forest resort dedicated to the sacred connection that can only be found between HER with the Gaiaic Body. For inquiries: She inquires only.
Michael Northrop, ‘The Cost of Love’, began his MFA studies in his mid-twenties but never completed his degree, choosing instead to support his (now ex-)wife and maintain the household while she earned her dual PHDs in ‘Traditional Power Pre-Patriarchal Constructs’ and ‘Dianic Phallo-Constructs’, which seemed like the honorable thing to do, but in retrospect was hugely counterproductive. Between ten-hour shifts, grocery shopping, lawn work, cleaning, turning wrenches, pet care, and doting on his former beloved, he’s been able to eek out some time to pen the above, along with such stories as ‘How Could I Have Been Better?’, ‘The Myth of The Good Man’, ‘Come, Talk To Me’, ‘How Much Longer Must I Do This?’, and the poem ‘Tonight, It’s The Stranger For Me.’ He is currently seeking representation, both legal and literary.
Liasa Leuken, ‘Mike Makes ‘Em Dyke: How Pushing Rope Pushes Women Onto A More Satisfying Team’ and ‘All That Plus A Ten-Hour Shift? Why No One Represents, Or Believes, Men With A Hero Complex’ is very satisfied with her firm, non-leaky, non-“Dick Cheesey” —seriously some bad Ricotta Cock she’s had to deal with— compostable Dianic Phalo-Construct. Why wait for a pill to never kick in when you can conjure something yourself? asks Liasa.
Delphine Alair, winner of this year's Clitoria Award and best selling author of 'Come Rain or Shine' and sequel 'Come Again,' adores spending her free time on the sun drenched beaches of the French Riviera swimming in the nude. After an exceptional glass of Bordeaux, of course. Je t'aime, Lee Lee.
Liasa Leuken & Michael Northrop, coauthors of "Women are from Venus, Men are from Black Holes." The memoir explores their roller coaster marriage and the life choices that are needed in order to make it work. Liasa lashes out on the "Trad wife fad" and goes after anything that dares to wear a dress. Michael is there to agree with her.
Simone M. Northop, 'Dodging the Hanger,' has chosen to publish under her paternal last name. Her forthcoming antifeminist manifesto, 'Sex Twice,' is due out this Father's Day.
Darryl Leuken, 'Two Degrees of Separation,' found peace, love and fatherhood on the coast with a woman purported to be his sister, an obscene charge he whole-heartedly denies. Translated his massive blackjack winnings at Indigenous casinos into the "Uncle Daddy Fund" at MMC Trinity, an annual scholarship awarded to a special student of his choosing. Daddy loves you, L.L.
Nate Nabb: Star and OK! writer and author of "H0w Crypt0 Pe0ple Th1nk". Graduate from A Touch From Above Christian University in California. Helped Michael Northrop pay for maids and yard staff so he could assist with site tours when writing "Best Gentleman's Clubs in Miami" for Miami New Times. Nabb claims Northrop never had sexual relations with that women doing the landscaping.
S. S. Riley, 'The Undead Mistress of the Kennedy's', M.Ed., MT(ASCP)SM, working on a PhD in Supernatural Science. Look forward for their debut novel, "Ghost Abortions for Sale!", coming this winter. Preferring to let their work speak for itself, S. S. Riley is a pseudonym.
Vivian S. Vaine, 'Plan Boo,' is a self-taught expert in the strategic use of supernatural phenomena and jump scares for late stage family planning. Even though her methods are more effective and controversial than any of the outdated information you'd find in books like "Ghost Abortions for Sale!", and despite the fact that Vivian writes actual true things and not just fiction, she still has the courage to use her actual name. Pseudonyms, she firmly believes, are tacky and for cowards.
Wendy Llewellyn, "Baby Got Back", first came to public attention when her story featured as a footnote in Vivian S. Caine's "Plan Boo". Llewellyn has tirelessly presented her daughter, a vessel for the spirit of Mary Jo Kopechne's child, for recognition at The White House. Llewellyn has more recently filed for unpaid child support dating back to 1970.
Mimi M., author of "Surviving a Date with a Kennedy" pours out her soul with mundane details of her Kennedy-One-Night-Stand. When she's not discussing her distant dating experiences she can be found providing mystic advice at her new shop "Change the Channel" where Mini can be found channeling the spirits of Mary Jo Kopechne and countless souls who never quite made it. By appointment only.
Harvey Webster, 'The Ghastly Knoll', is an investigative historian. In his upcoming book (of which, 'The Ghastly Knoll' serves as an introduction), Webster details his case for the haunting of Lee Harvey Oswald by none other than the vengeful spirit of Marylin Monroe. For safety reasons, not cowardice, Harvey Webster is a pseudonym.
Alexi Voynich, "No True Names: Baby Names to Confound the Fey," is an occult phenomenologist and co-host of the hit podcast "Talking Ghosts." Alexi Voynich may or may not be a pseudonym. All names, in the end, are made up. No one truer than the other, save in the eyes of the government - and when have they ever been right about anything? That's right. Never.
Paige grey, PHDPsy, Psychic Medium, author of the banned guide on spirit channelling ‘Ghosts Aren’t Real Yet You Believe In Politicians?’ Has received a message from beyond from those who have crossed because of political lenience and discourse. Spirits from Mary Jo Kopechne to Marilyn Monroe and, yes, even Micheal Jackson conjure together in Paige’s work to bring us a warning that we all knew was there. This warning is also the name of her new release, ‘It’s Not Them, It’s Each Unique Individual One Of Us: How The Sprits Think We Are The Psychopaths For Voting In The Psychopaths That Should Have Been Sent Back To Hell In The First Place. He-He Mr. President.’
Bell Swarfknop, ‘Half-Naked Half-Dead,’ writes prose poetry memoirs about a life spent resisting the forbidden, almost erotic allure of theatrical self-annihilation. Her most recent work, ‘Mom, Why Didn’t Your Abortion Work?’ explores pro-choice eschatology. On the subject of names, her maiden name is Vaine.
Mary Rose, “Drop Out” and “Why I Fear the Dead,” wrote one flash fiction collection: 2018’s “haunting” and “therapeutic” Induction and Abortion. She lives in Newburn, Alabama. Her next project is a medical malpractice lawsuit.
Xander Zalman: Best selling author of "How to Use Social Media Drama to Boost Sales." and University of Montevallo graduate. His latest release "Drop the Pen: The Inside Story of Authors Artificially Inflating Their Sales to Top the Charts." lifts the floorboards on writer corruption, such as Vivian Vaine, who also writes under the pseudo name S.S. Riley, fabricating an author rivalry to take advantage of social media algorithms and negative media attention to boost sales.
Xander Zalman: His latest release "Drop the Pen: The Inside Story of Authors Artificially Inflating Their Sales to Top the Charts." reveals Vivian Vaine, who writes under the pseudo name S.S. Riley, fabricating an author rivalry to take advantage of social media algorithms and negative media attention to boost sales.
B. J. Lovecraft has been an erotica Author since she was 13 when her dad taught her how to love. Her current novel “If The Dick Fits“ has been on the TMZ bestseller list for a year.
She lives in Pahrump, Nevada with three battery operated boyfriends and six cats.
B. J. Lovecraft has been an erotica Author since she was 13, when dad taught her how to love. Her current novel, “If The Dick Fits“ is on the TMZ bestseller list.
She lives in Pahrump, Nevada with three B.O.B.’s and six cats.
Natalia Szanó, ‘No C*nt for Old Men,’ deftly illuminates the hidden erotic lives of women who swear off male sexual partners (which, for the purposes of NCfOM, include any forms of B.O.B.s). Her groundbreaking (and perhaps pelvisbreaking) research into the biological and evolutionary origins of gynocentric fetish gear is coming soon. So is she.
I always think of you now when I see a good typo. The bodega across the street from me recently got a brand new scrolling neon marquee on which they're proudly advertising "BREASTFAST".
Cheryl Chatterton, author of “Salutations of Distant Remembrance,” is the editor of the online magazine ‘Encouraging Good Behavior through Somatic Reinforcement.’ She penned her debut poetry collection, ‘Fond Embraces’ in the span of a sleepless weekend. When she is not organizing a family reunion as the Chatterton matriarch, Cheryl enjoys desert herb gardening and pebble painting. Cheryl lives in Sheridan, Wyoming with her son and daughter-in-law.
Pebble D. | Author of 'Anthropoidic Mycelium' and member of the North American Mycological Society. Enjoys going on mushroom forays and rock climbing. Included in the viral New York Times article titled, "2024's Biggest Plant Shows" photo bombing Cheryl Chatterton at the IFPA The Global Produce & Floral Show. Photo caught a rip in Cheryl's pants revealing hot pink leopard print and a liposuction scar.
You know the drill. Keep it on the short side. You've got a rivalry between frenemies, here.
Dirk Morehead, author of "Just Say We" is known for his stories of unrequited love and French kissing, many written during the same "sleepless weekend" that Cheryl Chatterton wrote "Fond Embraces", as mentioned in her bio. Cheryl, please call me, s'il vous plait.
Pebble D.| author of the brand new "White Guilt: Tips on how to tolerate minorities" is a contributing writer for the hottest magazine "W.A.S.P-Y Rich & Loving It" When she is not writing and exploring new & in-your-face ways of being white, she can be found giving makeup lessons to the less fortunate, poverty stricken minorities across the tracks and then writing about her experiences as a white savior.
Pebble D.| "Chatterbox Devil" A coming of age account of her Beverly Hills high school experiences. The memoir offers up dishy tales of a thinly vailed popular best friend named "Sheryl Chatterbox" who never could seem to keep her mouth shut, stole all her sweethearts, pretended to act like she had no idea she was wearing the same exact fantastic vintage Chanel dress on prom night and made up lies about poor Pebble being a cheap slut, which pretty much ruined Pebble's whole life.
Sister Sheryl Tchatterton, 'The other Cheryl,' is a Catholic Nun, who serves god at 'Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Parish.' Sister Tchatterton is not to be confused with poet Cheryl Chatterton of Sheridan, Wyoming. Yes, both of their butts look remarkably similar in pink leopard print, so what?!
Dudley Trank, 'Water Your F'ing Lawn,' doesn't have time for unshaved pits, hippies on mushroom highs, or anything remotely leopard. In his spare time, serves as Mayor of Sheridan, Wyoming, and enjoys a good nap.
Calvin Klein, ‘Calvin Klein’ will be printing a sequel to his coffee table book, ‘Calvin Klein’, that will include a three-piece photo series of Cheryl Chatterton in basic Egyptian-cotton leopard-print panties. Each photo will be an exploration of the accidental, an exploration of the cover-up, and an exploration of the ’horticultural sportsmanship’ witnessed at such events. Under each print of Cheryl will be three poems reprinted from Cheryl’s collection ‘Fond Embraces’.
Emma Estrada: M.S. in investigative specialization from Columbia Journalism School. Screenwriter for the new hit TV series, "Celebrity Break-ins." Pilot episode features Pebble D. snooping through Chatterton's home before the 2024 Plant Show while Cheryl was vacationing to the Corn Palace.
Format, please!
Emma Estrada: Author of 'Undercover Celebs.' M.S. in investigative specialization from Columbia Journalism School. Screenwriter for the new hit TV series, 'Celebrity Break-ins.' Pilot episode features Pebble D. snooping through Chatterton's home before the 2024 Plant Show while Cheryl was vacationing to the Corn Palace.
Pebble D. | Author of 'Anthropoidic Mycelium' and member of the North American Mycological Society. Enjoys mushroom forays and rock climbing. Photo bombed Cheryl Chatterton at the IFPA The Global Produce & Floral Show. Photo caught a rip in Cheryl's pants revealing hot pink leopard print and a liposuction scar.
Genevieve S. Small, “Blink Twice If You See Me,” is also the author of several to-do lists she hasn’t gotten around to. She and her cat Lucy make their home in Brooklyn. This is her first published work.
Lucille van Ness, “A Familiar Tail,” moonlights as a bookseller in Greenwich Village and is always on the prowl for her next poem. Her recent work has appeared or is forthcoming in Blackbird, The Believer, and Passages North. In a previous life she oversaw the translations of Mark Twain’s musings. When she’s not composing found list poetry, Lucy can be found daydreaming on a fire escape in Brooklyn.
How can you escalate this? A cat is now in the mix.
Luna Caynem, author of, "More Than One Way to Skin It," has always preferred prose to poetry. Believing that city life is better suited to alley dwellers and dumpster divers, Luna resides in rustic New England.
Genevieve S. Small| author of "My Fur Soul," explores the dichotomy of domesticated house cats. Her dear Lucy, both a wide-eyed darling fur ball but also a killing machine of every small moving creature that dares come close to the apartment building. She receives at least 5 gifts from Lucy a week in the form of half dead birds, live birds, dead rats, half-dead rats, baby bunnies, horse flies and guts from unidentifiable, small creatures.
Rocky Slobbers, "Chasing Pussy," is a really good boy. Such a good, good boy. He stands guard in his alleyway in Brooklyn. He's the best good boy, chasing away most of the ally cats. Now, if he could just climb ladders...
Clive Lathrop, "Familiars Unseen: A Witch's Best Friend," uses his BA in Folklore to write essays meditating on modern-day mythmaking. That does not pay the bills. Doesn't even make a dent. To make ends meet, he works as a maintenance man for a series of apartment complexes in Brooklyn. Every day, he dreams of writing to distract from all of the dead vermin he has to clean off the fire escape.
Sam Longhorn, “Connecticut,” channels an America the rest of us forgot. Critics call him a poet “wise beyond his years” (Brooklyn Herald). Sam prefers the term “yarn-spinner.” He currently distracts himself from drafting his debut novel by running workshops in Greenwich Village and plotting the rescue of his neighbor’s neglected cat.
Why is the cat one the hardest one? lol Still thinking on this one.
Mo Oberley: Biologist and freelance lab scientist. In his recent release "Cats from Test Tubes," he interviews Genevieve Small about her DIY home genetics lab and the morality of expanding Lucy's prefrontal cortex capacity despite her low amygdalic functioning. Gen also shares who's next on her genetically modified to do list and announced author J. J. J. J. Gowanus volunteered.
Jenny Asterberry, ‘Roommate Issues: When The Kitty Litter Won’t Change Itself’ with the recent posting ‘Your Cat Did Not Write That Bio, So, No You Can’t Blame That One On The “Dog”’ has attempted everything from Haitian Voodoo to Midwestern Canadian Zen and has found that enough is enough. The smell is causing her to blink more than twice. The next time she blinks, Jenny hopes to open her eyes to an apartment empty of Genevieve.
Lyza Ule, 'Cover Your Work,' is the Hawthorn Mable Exemplary Presidential Author. 'Youth Can Absolve Sins,' her lowly offering to Sir Turing has awards now. Kode's simple.
Helena Ellison: Contributing author of 'Historia Veneficii'. Enjoys rose gardening and country side driving. Winner of the Berkshire Conference of Women Historians Book Prize. Member of the Latin National Honor Society and the International Guild of Knot Tyers North America. Currently working on a modern translation of the Heptameron. Collects antique blades and spring lancets. Earned a bachelors degree in history and masters degree in historical forensics at Miskatonic University.
Percy Fish, "Queer Burials: Love and the Death Industry," wants to emphasize that his name is NOT a typo. It is not Fisher nor Fishbach - it's just Fish. Fish received his BA in History at Dunwich Community College and uses it to trace back patrilineal lines and to write about your gay ancestors for his blog. His essay, "Last Rites in the Atlantic," was nominated for the Pushcart Prize. Fish has never left the Massachusetts coastline, and he never will. You can see him sometimes if you're on a country drive. Can't miss him - he has the exact look of someone named Percy Fish.
What Lovecraft lore can you use in a new Bio to escalate this to peril?
Eleanoire Splendins, ‘Piscis In Name, Dagon In Vein’ with her contribution to Historia Veneficii ‘The Blood Of The Deep One, The Cleansing Of The Shore’ has been waiting for such a fish to wander along the shore. After losing her twin brothers, Nos and Natos, to the shores of Innsmouth, Eleanoire has laboriously mastered, through the far superior Miskatronic School Of Chaos, rituals that can undo all that those before have undid. The following quote is from Eleanoire Splendins at her graduating ceremony, “The undoing of blood can be undid with the blood of those that did.”
#Necromancy. Nice!
Reginald Hircan, 'Modern-Day Assassin,' recently earned Elite Status in Krav Maga tactical knife fighting. Fluent in Latin, French, and English, his influential piece 'What You Got Wrong About Margaret, Queen of Navarre' was a warning shot at would-be translators bent on tackling the Heptameron. Abhors driving, unless we’re talking about a knife into a chest. Makes his home on an unnamed island located at 47°9′S 126°43′W with his dog Emma. Come say hi...
Olivia West, "Murder On the Road," resides in Arkham, MA. She works as a journalist at the Arkham Gazette, where she received numerous accolades for her reporting on the "less dead." The forgotten stab victims left by the roadside with roses in their mouths, and those that wash up to shore with throats clawed open. She dreams of one day winning a Pulitzer.
Deb Goodenough: Contributor to "Modern Geomancy." Left Fish and Ellison in the Nameless City and took all the manuscripts. See ya suckers!
Quinn Gilman: Magician and author of 'Horrors of Tindalos.' In a recent interview he claimed he could escape any knot and challenged Helena Ellison to tie him up. Paparazzi photographed him and Ellison at Percy Fish's Dreamland Bash. Gilman has been reported missing.
J. J. J. Jackson, author of "Nosferatu on the Shore", writes unapologetic fiction in his cabin in the woods, and lives completely off-grid and self-sufficient. His work has been called, ‘intimidating’ by Witness Magazine, and ‘unfathomable’ by That Books Guy. Jackson does not have a web profile or an email address. All book queries should be sent to PO Box 115, Arden, Texas. Internet Search Engine results will not report that all charges were dropped, but they were.
J. J. J. J. Gowanus, author of 'Dracula, a Oral History' has numerous vampire stories but alas, most are unpublished unless you count JJJ Jackass Jackson's ripoff of Nosferatu at the Beach, his ripoff of Vampire Syndrome by J. Gowanus or his virtual mimeograph of Bloodsuckers Delight by again, J. Gowanus. You better stay off the grid motherf----er.
How could you use Google Earth to find Jackson? Who else might want them dead?
This deserves a like for the infinity symbol alone, but also because it’s so completely over the top
Thank you
Kurt Potter, "Why Your Stories Suck: the dilution of vampire folklore in modern literature", is the brains behind podcast That Books Guy. Potter has had the misfortune to host both J.J.J. Jackson and J.J.J.J. Gowanus on his show and does not see the point of tussling over "Nosferatu on the Shore" a.k.a. "Nosferatu at the Beach". Both versions are dreadful. Please stop.
J.J.J.J. Jay Jameison Jr., ‘Nosferatu In The Store’ and ‘Dracula, A Moral History’ is gonna take both Jackson and GowANUS down a J’ or two. J.J.J.J Jay Jameison Jr.’s ‘From Imposter To Vampire’ was first ripped by GowANUS and then further sullied by Jackson. J.J.J.J. Jay Jameison Jr. is no longer an imposter. J.J.J.J Jay Jameison Jr. is following this trail of plagiarism so that he can “rip off”. J.J.J.J Jay Jameison Jr. will leave a trail of blood that Witness Magazine will call an “unfathomable” warning.
Richard J.J.J.J.J Norris, the author of 'Judge, Jury, and Jealousy: The J.J.J.J. Gowanus story,' is the original writer of every single last thing that J.J.J.J. Gowanus has ever claimed to have written, including 'Dracula, a Oral History.'
LEGAL NOTICE: At the date of publication, Mr. Norris's allegations remain unproven, and he, himself, is currently being investigated for his suspected plagiarism of 'Nosferatu on the Shore' by J.J.J. Jackson.
J^♾️, Supra-Nasferatu of the Most Supreme Nasferatu of the highest reigning Nasferatu Order of the non-secular vampiric order, the “Ordained Order of The Highest Undead Order” (referred to here in as “The Order”) with order over the most ordered and orderly and oldest and eldest of all orders, and their outcomes, including all mentioned and associated states of “undead” and all states regarding any and all interactions/references to/with the undead, including, but not limited to: familiars, werewolf disagreements, werewolf agreements, werewolf ambivalence, vampire slayers, vampire traitors, vampire layers( here in referred to as “fang bangers”), Anna Paquin, Anne Rice, Anecdote “attempts” to Vampyrism, politicians of left or right order, politicians of no order, politicians of humanitarian orders, politicians of religious orders, peoples of monotheistic orders, people of old east European orders, people willing to cross non-geographical boarders( unless its is a chase across a non-order boarder of “The Order”), human hoarders( J^♾️ would like to remind all vampires that yes, again, that he is once again asking all vampires, to please focus on the hoarders for food. The body is easy to hide and the sun has the lowest rate of appearances in a hoarder’s home, keeping one, or many, safe while reducing the likely-hood of claims. The Order members have found that it takes, on average, almost a full month for a body to be found after a “body” has “gone” missing in a hoarder’s home. Imagine that? In their own homes? Well, see, that’s a lot of unpacking for an investigator to do. Most of the average hoarding cases will have ample material to hide the human husk under. Lots of boxes and plastic grocery bags full of reusable grocery bags. Mountains of books — please note that all vampire related literature must be reported to The Order— and mountains of magazines and everything any tear of anxiety will cling to, will be there for one to cover one’s fangs with. And thereby, giving The Order one less reason for an “Ordered re-Ordering” ( Here in referred to as an “O-O” pronounced “oh-oh”) inspection. Please realize that by the time the bodies are found the decomposition does a remarkable job of “deleting” any “prints” and that no extraneous “cover” should be taken on to ensure one does not interfere with one’s insurance policy), human prey, animal prey (with the exception of bats or any other flying “rat” that is mistaken for a bat such as flying foxes. Cats, as well. Don’t touch. Cat’s got fangs. Vampires got fangs. Vampires got an agreement with the Supreme Order of the Highest Order of Crones(…) to not touch cats either. It is understood that some claim a spell has been cast on The Order so as to forbid the sucking on cats. Any questions of The Order will have to be filed through the Registrar Liaison Officer’s office during regular familiar hours.) human-child prey, and any and all prey that could succumb to any or all entities that can be collected under the umbrella term “vampire” and all other terms suggestible/susceptible of/to vampirism, knows the Nosferatu. J^♾️ has written all books on Nosferstu that exist across all time that reach back into the first glimpse of memories to the furthest future where all imagination will dwindle and decease. All books written in that mind-span are his. All “writers” of Nosferatu are mediums he was/is/will be using to write any approved Nasferatu related material owned and regulated by The Order. Any, and all, references to Nasferatu not channelled by His Supra Nosferatu order of “The Order” is considered plagiaristic/appropriatic/illicit by “The Order” and liable to the full extent of both human, and Orderly Law. During an Orderly Ordering, J^♾️ was quoted “Tell those posers —Jackson, GowANUS, Potter (non Harry), Jameison Jr., Norris— to lawyer up ‘cause we’re chomping down.”
That's intimidating. Who died and made you David Foster Wallace?
John Fang, “The Count, Revamped,” makes his long-awaited and watered-down horror debut after decades of hard-boiled thrillers and the loss of his previous manuscript, “The Count.” The Courts eighty-sixed the original “Count” after the publication of J. J. J. Jackson’s “He, The Count.” Folks, don’t you think J. J. J. Jackson publishes too frequently to be creatively self-sufficient? Ever read a talentless hack? Read the latest on Jackson’s corruption, his sycophantic publisher, and his servile Texas Court Kangaroos on my blog – The Grid. A wanderer, I stalk through Arden, Texas.
J. Author of "The Classification of Vampires." and "Agrippina's Poisoner's Guide." The OG J. Not a backwoods beach lovin' imitation.
I've gotten so used to my contacts app which alphabetizes by first name so J.J.J. would come right before J.J.J.J. I think some other apps also do it that way. Although I guess a book editor would not.
Q.Q.Q. Jackson, 'Possessed By Norman Mailer' , a collection of poems on the lost art of manliness. A collection that should be read by that sissy J.J.J.J. Gowanus. The only original thing produced by that guppy was a pool of piss and shit after he was choked out by J.J.J. Jackson with a sick Darce choke at the East Plano BJJ Open.
I loved that you changed the initial. Nice tweak.
J.J.J.J. Jonathan Harker, author of The Real Night Stalkers Among Us, resides in London when not on extended travel. On to you Jackson/Gowanus or should I say Graf Orlok. Google Earth shows me there are 64 properties in greater Arlen that are not on the grid. See you soon for sunrise cocktails.
Larry Finkel, author of "The Everyday Politics of Candyland" can be found on his YouTube channel "Boardgame Everything." There he takes the time to explain the complexity of Clue to the rise and fall of the British Navy in Battleship. Please join us there.
Jerry Finkel, 'The order of the cards is set: Candyland, Birth Order, and The Illusion of Free Will', is the totally underappreciated younger brother of failed YouTube influencer Larry Finkel of "Boardgame Everything." Jerry is currently a student at Harvard University, with a full scholarship and a 4.0 GPA. Not that their dad gives a flip because he's too busy fawning over that idiot's stupid internet fame. Oh yeah, and while that lazy dirtbag is editing his dumb videos, who makes time to mow the lawn and trim the hedges? Not Larry. Who takes Mom out to dinner on Mother's Day? Not Larry, never big famous Larry.
Sibling Rivalry, a classic pattern and plot thread. Where can you take this with a third Bio?
Berta Finkel, author of “Sons: The Heartbreak and the Glory,” would like nothing better than her boys to make nice. She’s proud of both of them equally. From Larry she gets lots of free stuff he calls “swag,” but Jerry gives her more kisses. Both of them are available and ready to have a baby, girls!
Tammy Goodwill, 'Twin Flame Games.' details her trials of being labeled a "home-wrecker' and 'harlot' after breaking up Larry Finkel's marriage at the the height of his online stardom. The now divorced Tammy dishes out her side of the story where she labels Berta a depressing nag and how Jerry devolved into an insufferable bore who only understood life if it was being filmed.
Opal Risk , 'Sex Tartare, with a side of brother', writes erotic tales of lust, betrayal, and infidelity. She has chosen this bio to announce the fact that she is in a profoundly sexual and emotional relationship with the acclaimed author Finkel. Since it was soooo important that she stop keeping him a secret, she really hopes this puts his insecure mind at ease. Love you, Finky-poo.
If this one were to be selected, I wonder if placing it after the first Finkel brother, but before the second would be a good idea. My thinking is: it does two things, it misdirects the reader into believing that its the first Finkel brother who was insecure/being cheated on (the reader not knowing yet that there is a second Finkel). Additionally, by breaking the alphabetical order, it would play to the inferiority complex of Finkel number two, always overlooked and finishing last. Never in his rightful place. Just brainstorming here :)
Thank you for thinking ahead that way. This discussion will be a different kind of fun, later.
Marjory and Vince Finkel, 'Estate Planning for Childless Millionaires', are not going to change their minds. Upon their demise, the entirety of their assets will go to their beloved dachshund, Pickles. Larry and Jerry, you know what you did.
Pickles furever!
I love this, but how can it escalate?
Marjory and Vince Finkel, 'Estate Planning for Childless Millionaires', are not going to change their minds. Upon their demise, the entirety of their assets will go to their beloved dachshund, Pickles, unless Larry or Jerry actually grows the stones to step up and solve Mommy’s little problem. You know what needs to be done.
Mary Finkel, 'Finger Snaps,' coaches middle children who have seen too much. She received a double BA in Psychology and Art Therapy from Emerson College where she started the theater troupe Finger Puppet Players. Their debut rendition of The Vagina Monologues inspired Mary to write the Etsy coffee table book sensation 'I Made This: Breakthrough Creations.' She's currently collaborating with Netflix on an exposé based on her past involvement with "Boardgame Everything."
Kiran Goleman: PHD psychologist and author of "The Hasbro Code." This new release discusses being an adult child of author Jerry Finkle. Growing up, his father used UV lights and lit candles to uncover hidden messages and clues on mass produced game boards. His dad sued Hasbro after their family home burnt down.
Tanya Trump, previously Tanya Finkel, author of ‘House of Cards, House Of Thrones: The Marriage is How You Get Your Game’ wants her “board game” boring “4.0 GPA” brothers to know that their sidelining, short-dicked ways are why SHE is now First Lady of The United States Of America. Pew-Pew retards, she laughs. Tanya wants her “bros” to know that they are now her subjects because of how she played the game that her “no-balled balls” had, and still has, the balls to play. Tanya would like her brothers to know that dad just sent her a text. Tanya’s text from daddy says, “Go get ‘em son! I always knew you were my favourite champ of the fam camp. 🥲.” Tanya would like to remind her brothers that the only other time that their dad ever used an emoji with tears was when gay marriage became recognized nation wide and Tanya’s Brothers’ girlfriends told her simp brothers to tell daddy to “shut up bigot”. Tanya would like to remind her brothers that THAT her brothers surely did. Well guess what, asks Tanya, Princess Champ sees it as her right to be a bigot. A really big, “no-balled balls” “son” of a ballin’ type of bigot bitch, bitches!
Liasa Leuken, ‘Her Story Wasn’t History’ and ‘Sheets of Sapphic Sheets of Yonic Sheets of Spells’ and ‘Unphallic Hill’ Is an MMC Trinity graduate who completed her double PHD studies in ‘Traditional Power Pre-Patriarchal Constructs’ along with a medical/anthropological/non-secular PHD in ‘Dianic Phallo-Constructs’. She runs a coastal-forest resort dedicated to the sacred connection that can only be found between HER with the Gaiaic Body. For inquiries: She inquires only.
Michael Northrop, ‘The Cost of Love’, began his MFA studies in his mid-twenties but never completed his degree, choosing instead to support his (now ex-)wife and maintain the household while she earned her dual PHDs in ‘Traditional Power Pre-Patriarchal Constructs’ and ‘Dianic Phallo-Constructs’, which seemed like the honorable thing to do, but in retrospect was hugely counterproductive. Between ten-hour shifts, grocery shopping, lawn work, cleaning, turning wrenches, pet care, and doting on his former beloved, he’s been able to eek out some time to pen the above, along with such stories as ‘How Could I Have Been Better?’, ‘The Myth of The Good Man’, ‘Come, Talk To Me’, ‘How Much Longer Must I Do This?’, and the poem ‘Tonight, It’s The Stranger For Me.’ He is currently seeking representation, both legal and literary.
Marital Discord. How can you escalate this failed relationship?
Liasa Leuken, ‘Mike Makes ‘Em Dyke: How Pushing Rope Pushes Women Onto A More Satisfying Team’ and ‘All That Plus A Ten-Hour Shift? Why No One Represents, Or Believes, Men With A Hero Complex’ is very satisfied with her firm, non-leaky, non-“Dick Cheesey” —seriously some bad Ricotta Cock she’s had to deal with— compostable Dianic Phalo-Construct. Why wait for a pill to never kick in when you can conjure something yourself? asks Liasa.
Clever as hell. But how does it escalate?
Delphine Alair, winner of this year's Clitoria Award and best selling author of 'Come Rain or Shine' and sequel 'Come Again,' adores spending her free time on the sun drenched beaches of the French Riviera swimming in the nude. After an exceptional glass of Bordeaux, of course. Je t'aime, Lee Lee.
Liasa Leuken & Michael Northrop, coauthors of "Women are from Venus, Men are from Black Holes." The memoir explores their roller coaster marriage and the life choices that are needed in order to make it work. Liasa lashes out on the "Trad wife fad" and goes after anything that dares to wear a dress. Michael is there to agree with her.
This actually made me lol in real life - thank you
LOL. Thank you! Thank you!
Laughed, but how does this escalate the situation?
Simone M. Northop, 'Dodging the Hanger,' has chosen to publish under her paternal last name. Her forthcoming antifeminist manifesto, 'Sex Twice,' is due out this Father's Day.
Darryl Leuken, 'Two Degrees of Separation,' found peace, love and fatherhood on the coast with a woman purported to be his sister, an obscene charge he whole-heartedly denies. Translated his massive blackjack winnings at Indigenous casinos into the "Uncle Daddy Fund" at MMC Trinity, an annual scholarship awarded to a special student of his choosing. Daddy loves you, L.L.
I considered a “Leuk(en)…I Am Your Father” joke in here but worried it may have been too obvious.
Nate Nabb: Star and OK! writer and author of "H0w Crypt0 Pe0ple Th1nk". Graduate from A Touch From Above Christian University in California. Helped Michael Northrop pay for maids and yard staff so he could assist with site tours when writing "Best Gentleman's Clubs in Miami" for Miami New Times. Nabb claims Northrop never had sexual relations with that women doing the landscaping.
S. S. Riley, 'The Undead Mistress of the Kennedy's', M.Ed., MT(ASCP)SM, working on a PhD in Supernatural Science. Look forward for their debut novel, "Ghost Abortions for Sale!", coming this winter. Preferring to let their work speak for itself, S. S. Riley is a pseudonym.
Vivian S. Vaine, 'Plan Boo,' is a self-taught expert in the strategic use of supernatural phenomena and jump scares for late stage family planning. Even though her methods are more effective and controversial than any of the outdated information you'd find in books like "Ghost Abortions for Sale!", and despite the fact that Vivian writes actual true things and not just fiction, she still has the courage to use her actual name. Pseudonyms, she firmly believes, are tacky and for cowards.
Any word from Mary Jo Kopechne? Where could a new Bio take this?
Keep brevity in mind.
Wendy Llewellyn, "Baby Got Back", first came to public attention when her story featured as a footnote in Vivian S. Caine's "Plan Boo". Llewellyn has tirelessly presented her daughter, a vessel for the spirit of Mary Jo Kopechne's child, for recognition at The White House. Llewellyn has more recently filed for unpaid child support dating back to 1970.
If you can't get rid of the cargo, just get rid of the whole ship. That's how to Kennedy's did it.
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT OUR SECRETARY OF HUMAN SERVICES HERE. Show some respect.
Lololol
Mimi M., author of "Surviving a Date with a Kennedy" pours out her soul with mundane details of her Kennedy-One-Night-Stand. When she's not discussing her distant dating experiences she can be found providing mystic advice at her new shop "Change the Channel" where Mini can be found channeling the spirits of Mary Jo Kopechne and countless souls who never quite made it. By appointment only.
Harvey Webster, 'The Ghastly Knoll', is an investigative historian. In his upcoming book (of which, 'The Ghastly Knoll' serves as an introduction), Webster details his case for the haunting of Lee Harvey Oswald by none other than the vengeful spirit of Marylin Monroe. For safety reasons, not cowardice, Harvey Webster is a pseudonym.
Alexi Voynich, "No True Names: Baby Names to Confound the Fey," is an occult phenomenologist and co-host of the hit podcast "Talking Ghosts." Alexi Voynich may or may not be a pseudonym. All names, in the end, are made up. No one truer than the other, save in the eyes of the government - and when have they ever been right about anything? That's right. Never.
Paige grey, PHDPsy, Psychic Medium, author of the banned guide on spirit channelling ‘Ghosts Aren’t Real Yet You Believe In Politicians?’ Has received a message from beyond from those who have crossed because of political lenience and discourse. Spirits from Mary Jo Kopechne to Marilyn Monroe and, yes, even Micheal Jackson conjure together in Paige’s work to bring us a warning that we all knew was there. This warning is also the name of her new release, ‘It’s Not Them, It’s Each Unique Individual One Of Us: How The Sprits Think We Are The Psychopaths For Voting In The Psychopaths That Should Have Been Sent Back To Hell In The First Place. He-He Mr. President.’
Bell Swarfknop, ‘Half-Naked Half-Dead,’ writes prose poetry memoirs about a life spent resisting the forbidden, almost erotic allure of theatrical self-annihilation. Her most recent work, ‘Mom, Why Didn’t Your Abortion Work?’ explores pro-choice eschatology. On the subject of names, her maiden name is Vaine.
So close... But how does it escalate from the first two?
It’s in response to Vivian Vaine who claims her ghost abortions were effective! Bell Schwarfknop (nee Vaine) might like to differ
Mary Rose, “Drop Out” and “Why I Fear the Dead,” wrote one flash fiction collection: 2018’s “haunting” and “therapeutic” Induction and Abortion. She lives in Newburn, Alabama. Her next project is a medical malpractice lawsuit.
Xander Zalman: Best selling author of "How to Use Social Media Drama to Boost Sales." and University of Montevallo graduate. His latest release "Drop the Pen: The Inside Story of Authors Artificially Inflating Their Sales to Top the Charts." lifts the floorboards on writer corruption, such as Vivian Vaine, who also writes under the pseudo name S.S. Riley, fabricating an author rivalry to take advantage of social media algorithms and negative media attention to boost sales.
Xander Zalman: His latest release "Drop the Pen: The Inside Story of Authors Artificially Inflating Their Sales to Top the Charts." reveals Vivian Vaine, who writes under the pseudo name S.S. Riley, fabricating an author rivalry to take advantage of social media algorithms and negative media attention to boost sales.
(Shorter version.)
Nicely sophisticated. And short.
Finger pie sounds dirty yet kinda also sexy.
Ding! Ding! Ding! You found the typo.
Coupled with the logo, that is one naughty pie. 😎
Someone literally has their finger in every pie.
Is finger being included in Pie not normal in the states like it is here in the UK?
B. J. Lovecraft has been an erotica Author since she was 13 when her dad taught her how to love. Her current novel “If The Dick Fits“ has been on the TMZ bestseller list for a year.
She lives in Pahrump, Nevada with three battery operated boyfriends and six cats.
Good shortness. Now tweak it for subtlety.
B. J. Lovecraft has been an erotica Author since she was 13, when dad taught her how to love. Her current novel, “If The Dick Fits“ is on the TMZ bestseller list.
She lives in Pahrump, Nevada with three B.O.B.’s and six cats.
Natalia Szanó, ‘No C*nt for Old Men,’ deftly illuminates the hidden erotic lives of women who swear off male sexual partners (which, for the purposes of NCfOM, include any forms of B.O.B.s). Her groundbreaking (and perhaps pelvisbreaking) research into the biological and evolutionary origins of gynocentric fetish gear is coming soon. So is she.
Mmm, that pie looks finger-lickin’ good. Nice find, Leaux 😂
Though we should probably take our fingers off that "lable..." Sent with love and full, bandwidth-up-to-here meets spell-check resignation. Cheers.
Finger?? This must be a Baba Yaga recipe.
I always think of you now when I see a good typo. The bodega across the street from me recently got a brand new scrolling neon marquee on which they're proudly advertising "BREASTFAST".
Don’t forget the “whole m ilk”. Gotta get all the M’ and its ilk in there.
Will you sign a broomstick?
What will you do with that broom stick when done?
Light it’s wick - it’s an exploding broom.
But the signature?
It’s an assassination attempt.