27 Comments

Congratulations!

Expand full comment

If you had allowed rap artists I would have won but I'm still a winner. Lolololololol congratulations to the winners.....m

Expand full comment

I'm really kind of glad it wasn't Mr. King. I might actually cease to exist 😂😆😂😆😂😆😂😆

Expand full comment

Winning is so last year

Expand full comment
author

Why can't you ever just be happy for Tiffany?!?

Expand full comment

Congrats, everyone? And Chuck, you should know when you die what we leave on your grave will come from the same organ but won't be piss.

Expand full comment

And by organ, of course I mean the heart, and by what showers on the head stone and the soil, of course I mean tears!

Expand full comment
founding

I'll just dress up like a hoe and shower his grave with satanic haikus.

Expand full comment
founding

AH! Can I be responsible to scattering your ashes Sir!???? lol I have a business proposal set here Sir. https://candice372.substack.com/p/uber-for-urns

Expand full comment
founding

And I'll still dress like a hoe.

Expand full comment
author

If you are referring to my Maggie Thatcher story... As the waiter told me, "Five times!" (not in the same meal, one imagines)

Expand full comment
author

(no one has that stamina)

Expand full comment

5 times! I imagine the first (maybe second) were pure joy, and the subsequent were terror-stricken work - from fear she might notice a flavor discrepancy!

Expand full comment

She’s recommending the restaurant to her friends, saying, “you absolutely must try the soup! It’s fantastic!” And her friends thinking, “Oh Madge. It’s okay. Could use a little salt.”

Expand full comment

Shoulda went to Wendells house and stole the rubber mat out the tub.

Expand full comment
founding

Love the pup pic!

Congrats to the winners!

Expand full comment
author

My dog, 'Egg.'

Expand full comment

Shame.. if only the Magick in grimoires is real, I would have aced this.

Expand full comment

When I load up the thread as “new first” AJ’s Eve Babitz announcement is lower/first and should probably get credit if you’re giving it... just saying.

Expand full comment

Oh wow, you were serious about it being a contest. Two people are legit winners. And two people, are unfortunately dead.

Expand full comment

Hey Chuck, you gonna eat those fries?

*reaches for the plate*

Expand full comment

The game clock already expired, but my prediction also came true, unfortunately. https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1474061807258066947?s=20

Expand full comment

I cried when I heard.

Expand full comment
founding

This one hurts 😢

Expand full comment

Did anyone say Joan Didion? Apparently, she met her eternal reward today. I'll bet she's smoking filterless Camels with Vonnegut and Hemingway right now; Hemingway's loudly proclaiming "it's about time you old broad, I've been waiting for you" and Joan is tossing a scotch-and-soda in his eyes.

Expand full comment