The Monkees Winner!

The Butterfly Effect in effect

Not Jake Gardner Pictured

And the winner is… Jake Gardner

Not so much for the alternate musicians—I liked Hendrix and Ted Bundy—but because of the elegant butterfly effect Gardner spins out. You had me with, “and Sussudio would never hit the airwaves”.

Iggy Pop and David Bowie. Instead of a bubblegum pop band who fired Jimi Hendrix as their opener, the Monkees would become a proto-punk juggernaut. The fame, which was all Manson really wanted, would prevent Sharon Tate’s murder. She would beat Jane Fonda out for parts in They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?, The China Syndrome, and On Golden Pond, which earned her an Oscar. After they successfully prevented disco, the Monkees would disband. Manson went into politics, snatching the Democratic nomination from Mondale in ‘84, then taking the general election by a landslide. He would later be regarded as the greatest president since FDR. Bowie would take Peter Gabriel’s spot in Genesis, and Sussudio would never hit the airwaves. Iggy and Jim overdosed with Todd Rundgren and Mark David Chapman, preventing both Lennon’s assassination and “Bang the Drum All Day.” Lennon’s survival negates the cynicism and decadence of the ’80s, eliminating both hair metal and the following grunge uprising. With no war on drugs, the federal government was able to dedicate those vast resources to curing AIDS and quelling the epidemic. Needless to say, Freddie Mercury lives on!

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As for you, winner Jake Gardner, please send your snail mail address to Dennis by clicking here. Include a phone number if you’re outside the U.S.

Thanks to everyone for chiming in. A new contest starts tomorrow.