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Everyone should see him chew up the scenery in horror movies like "The Brood" and "Burnt Offerings." Cheese-tastic!

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deletedMar 13, 2023·edited Mar 13, 2023
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My vote is here

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Although respectfully they would be called “The Apes”

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Correction: it “should” be called the Apes however I believe back then would have still been called “The Monkees” - either way, this one still has my vote!

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And Charlton Heston.

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It would've been Insane Clown Posse decades earlier.

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Diana Ross. Picture it.

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Was Karen Carpenter born?

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She was sixteen. Perfect. Played the drums.

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Wait. At the expense of Diana Ross?

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Samuel L Jackson.

Think of it... The voice... The f-bombs... So many clutched pearls. 🤣

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I’m gonna go with Janis Joplin because every band should have a bad ass woman with a killer voice. It makes everything better.

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Keith Moon - After a couple years in The Who, Keith is looking to expand into acting and auditions for The Monkees. Moon was quoted when this story broke "Surely moving up to M from W means more quid in my trousers mate!" He then added "Oye, M and W, it's like 6 and 9 mate!" However, Moon's tenure with the Monkees was fleeting. After drinking during most of the first day of shooting the pilot, Moon became enraged with the constant stammering of a certain Charles Manson. During an altercation, Moon smashed a chair across Manson's head and stormed off the set. Manson was comforted by co-star Morrison who felt that Moon had gone too far.

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Keith was a god

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Harry Nilsson wanted to put together a team that could take on the Beatles. His singing and piano skills got him the job, but he would only perform in a rubber gorilla mask because of stage fright. Young girls speculated that he was so handsome they had to cover his face to give Mickey and Davey a chance at being favorited. The mask started a trend that would take over pop stardom. Tiger Beat featured nothing but dreamboats wearing rubber on their heads. Zebras, Lions, Macaws, until the Beatles donned actual beetle masks. Sales plummeted, and the mask trend died.

I think Harry was still a computer programmer at that time, but thats my story and Im stickin to it.

Edit: Harry released his first album in 1966. It plays.

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J. Fred Muggs.

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Had to Google him. Glad I did hahahaha

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Mar 13, 2023·edited Mar 13, 2023

Wait wait wait....

TIM CURRY!

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I love that man, and went to see Rocky Horror live for the first time in 25 years a few months ago. Dressed as Rocky. Looked like a professional wrestler.

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Ohmygosh! How fun! I would love to catch a Rocky Horror live show! 🤩

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There are troupes in just about every city. This one was from Cincy, but the show was in a small town theater an hour away.

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So... The Monkees originally broke up in 1970. The Rocky Horror Picture Show [film] came out in 1975...

If Tim Curry used Rocky Horror as means to reunite The Monkees...

Tim Curry, Samuel L Jackson [see my other comment], Jim Morrison and Charles Manson... doing The Time Warp

Glorious.

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I can hear Jim crooning "Do the pelvic thrust".

Did you know it was based on a film from the 30s? I just learned this and watched the beginning of the old film.

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I didn't know that! What's the film called?

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The Old Dark House

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Thank you kindly! 😊

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Jimmy Buffett and Phil Collins. Jimmy in his Floridays wear, and Phil beating his drum with Raybans!

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Karen Carpenter on the drums, Tina Turner as lead vocalist. Tina would push Karen to add faster beats, Karen would mellow Manson. Jim Morrison would convince the band to play 45 minute songs that alternately led audiences to a frenzy, then drugged them into an alternative state.

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Screamin' Jay Hawkins. Maybe with the right musical treatment from the Monkees, his little-known "Constipation Blues" would've hit in more than just Japan (where "the pains of not bein' able to get it out were understood." - SJH)

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Screamin' Jay Hawkins...rings a bell, did he sing "I Put a Spell on You?"

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Yup, that's him. Coffin and skulls guy. He said at one point he didn't want to be the Black Vincent Price, he wanted to be a real singer. Do Figaro. Ava Maria. The Lord's Prayer. I think he would've been great doing three-part harmony with Micky and Davy.

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I know Constipation Blues! (The song...)

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Huey Lewis and the Monkees - Even if their early worked would be a little too new wave for my taste.

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🎶Mister Dobalina Mister Bob Dobalina🎶

The original by the Monkees: https://youtu.be/OedfVXal_Y8

Who sampled it? https://youtu.be/qFqov8a9iL4

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Morrison and Manson will be joined by Anton Szandor LaVey in the Monkees. Inspired by John Lennon’s claim of the Beatles being bigger than Jesus, they will form a band with the intention of being “better than Jesus”. The plan is to develop records with subliminal signals, developing a truly cult following. The fourth member of the band will be actor Dick York, who found the last couple of years on Bewitched depressingly free of genuine occultism, and joined the Monkees on drums in the hopes of connecting with dark forces.

Their 1966 hit, “I’m a Believer” is specifically decried by Reagan during his gubernatorial race as a corrupting influence on the nation’s youth, primarily due to its clear references to belief in the dark lords of chaos.

In 1968 they relocate their musical cult to a compound in Florida, under the name “The Monks of Key West”, drawing the attention of the FBI…

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You are so close to winning this...

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Excellent! Personally, I'm really looking forward to when the feds send in undercover operative Special Agent Dick Sargent to take out and replace Dick York, hoping that nobody will ever notice.

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Ted Bundy, let's make him the lead singer, put him up front cause he's the best looking of my bunch. He's also the only way we're getting groupies. Let's include Pee Wee Gaskins on the electric guitar. Boston Strangler on the bass. And may I also include Ed Gein? He'll bring in his own hand-crafted set of drums. Just don't ask him about the drum skin.

And I'm changing the band name to The Munchies.

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Mar 13, 2023Liked by Chuck Palahniuk

Oh wait...we can choose ANYONE? I thought it was just serial killers. Ah fuck it, I'm happy with my answer anyway lol

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Mar 13, 2023Liked by Chuck Palahniuk

I think serial killers get bonus points. You made the right choice.

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