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February 11, 2022
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I changed it for you.

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The constant rectifications of typos aren’t worth it. Trust me.

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*cries in shame at being too writerly*

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Been there, done that.

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Appreciate the honesty

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I remember an interview with Chuck and he said the most damning thing a minimalist can say about your writing is that it sounds like a writer wrote it.

Now I just love the idea of writing a story the way a person would tell one. It feels so much more genuine.

But still, a part of me likes those 10 dollar words and long sentences that are so esoteric you don't have a clue what it means. It's a guilty pleasure of mine haha

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That line "We're all of us children in a vast kindergarten trying to spell God's name with the wrong alphabet blocks!” I think there's fine line between wanting to communicate an idea eloquently and you just loving the smell of your own farts.

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Hah! When I read that play, THAT is my least favorite line. It sounds so contrived and Writerly.

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Sounds like a good interview.

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If you wanna watch it, here it is. If you want to skip to the part where he talked about sounding writerly, it's after the 47:51 mark.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGapse2GwTY

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Bless you. If you take away nothing else, you've won big. Clever is not the best quality, and if you can't arrive at pathos and heartbreak, what's the point?

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Chuck, why do you think sad endings tend to hit us and stick with us stronger than happy endings?

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I like this question and hope Chuck answers!

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My only disappointment is that the winning phrases sound to me like what Chuck was asking us to replace.

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Thanks for the fun contest, Chuck! Thanks to everyone who participated too!

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And you won!

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I win by learning from you and this great community. Thanks for that. Everything else is chocolate sprinkles on the sundae :)

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Congratulations to all the winners. That was alot of posting that people did on the topic.

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Great job everyone! Definitely a tough challenge for me.

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Yay! Thank you! I thoroughly enjoyed this exercise. 😄🌹🍫

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You had a couple good entries. But only one box of chocolates to a customer.

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It's only fair. 😁💃🏻

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*Falls flat after finish line*

Thanks Chuck!

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Finally!

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By the way did you see the pics of the dogs enjoying your gifts? I posted on here but didn’t know if you saw. https://twitter.com/finiteatticus/status/1488384413427716096?s=21

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My secret shame. I hand color those comic stickers myself. Cute dogs. No chocolate for them.

My fear is that Hemingway didn't sit around hand coloring stickers and mailing packages. Thus, I am not a real writer.

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You’re use of cangiante coloring technique is impressive. The box that must be destroyed was a nice touch.

How does one send Chuck a birthday gift?

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Alas, one does not. I appreciate the impulse, but a lot of nice gifts coming to one person is daunting. But thank you!

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I’ll be thinking of you either way and if I forget on the day, happy birthday, Chuck!

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I watched an interview with Cheryl Strayed and she talked about being a binge-writer. Like 14 hours in one sitting. And she talked about how it's strongly encouraged by most to write everyday and that if you aren't writing everyday, you aren't a real writer.

And then she said if you're not a writer unless you write everyday, then I guess I'm not a real writer. Which is obviously untrue. It was just reassuring to hear her speak on that though, as a person who frequently feels bad about not churning out 1000 words everyday.

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I try not to be too hard on myself if is can’t get that much down. Just that I sit at the very least for 45 minutes with Word open with the intent of writing. If I did that, then I’ve written. Even if I just read through and fix grammatical errors and punctuation and structure I’ve done *something*.

Thing I remind myself of is that even if I take my writing seriously, presently it’s my, *hobby not my jobby* not yet anyway. That seems to help.

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There so many moving parts to this job. If I do any of them -- promotion, research, tour planning, tax organizing, sourcing supplies -- any and all of that counts as writing. That's why the notebook works. You can write while buying toner at Office Depot.

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For what it's worth, I adore my Mr-Palahuniuk-hand-colored-comic-sticker. It just means that you're now a graphic designer as well. No shame. Thank you so much Sir! Don't you find that you need to put a break on that side of your brain in order to come back to your project with fresh eyes!? I've polished turds for hours, took a short break and found that I needed to throw the whole thing away because "What was I thinking!?"

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The sad/funny truth...? I had those comic stickers made for the 2020 tour for 'Fight Club 3.' I'd planned to doctor the books with an array of snowflakes and customized comic panels and Mr. Yuck stickers. Then: Lockdown.

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What lovely dogs! The bucket of chicken is fantastic, my dog loves burrow toys

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They’re all from the same litter. Dad adopted the first one Thor, and we discovered the other two Donnie (Odin) and Loki were going to be put in a shelter, or worse put down, after a year of neglect abuse so we took them in too. Their fur was in mats all over and they were afraid of us for a long time growling at food and refusing touches and belly scratches. But eventually they loved us. 💕

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Awww. (heart breaks here) I wondered why the fried chicken pieces had smiling faces.

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Because of the abuse Loki performs this strange ritual before eating his food. Like bowing and circling and bowing and putting his face into the cushion ten or so times. If I can ever catch him doing it on film I’ll post a link to it here.

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*whomp*whomp*

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Congratulations winner's, I envy you all :) I'm going to buy my own box of candy and eat it with you all in spirit. Contemplating how this contest actually taught me something and I am now a little bit of a better writer for it. Thanks Chuck and everyone who participated.

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The Easter contest will be better. Malted milk eggs! Jelly beans! Gestures.

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OMG I love those Robin Eggs!

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Congratz to all the winners! Hope you enjoy your prizes. Just don't eat all the chocolate at once! And please slide me a caramel or a nougat when you get it, thanks.

But this request stuck a thorn in my brain. (oh wow, finally wrote one!)

Chuck, you are WAY smarter than all of us put together when it comes to thought verbs. And I feel like over the years, you probably have your own special list of these substitutions. My question is...why'd you task us with this? Because I feel like anything I would have come up with would only adulterate the fine collection you already have.

Unless I'm just being too harsh on myself.

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Congrats to everyone that won! There were some really great ideas submitted. This exercise really helped me to *nail into my brain* (heh) this habit, which is why I sorta went crazy with writing so many. It’s a bit addicting? Now any time I see a Conceptual Thought Verb in my writing, it will be easier for me to notice it and *pick it apart* (ha —woah really on a roll here)… I received your package today Chuck! Holy shit thanks so much. I sent a separate email through the site that has a little more to it. You made my day dude.

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Those glitter balls are great, are they not?!

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Yes they’re McFuckin wonderful! The glitter is all over my hands and clothes and dogs and allllllll the candy. It’s glorious. And — I like to think that it’s giving me special powers. Like Thanos or something.

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lol I totally know what you mean. Those balls are quite busy. Leaving residue all over my clothes, my face, on my cat...Quite fantastic!

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Household hint? The glitter balls are sold in packets at the Dollar Stores, as "vase filler." They store very easily, and people tend to save and reuse them. And cats love them.

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Niceeee. Dollar Tree is my favorite place to go. Especially at night. Better people watching and interactions. Great deals on gift wrapping materials. There is ALWAYS some crazy thing you can find there that you will never see anywhere else. Oh also pro tip for anyone wondering — never buy their food. Holy hell it has to be made in China or something. The chip dip? Woah. Never again.

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Yeah you have to watch the expiration date on the crackers. With a cracker fetish I now need to buy my crackers at rock bottom prices.

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Seeing the results, I was floored, shellacked, thrown for a loop. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, I was caught in a trap, held hostage, caged, in a mental prison, lost in the woods, with a millstone around my neck, drowning. I needed to punch my way through and escape the cobwebs of my mind.

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Good god...I think you just obliterated the competition with that one!

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That's exactly how I feel writing a novel.

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Congrats to the winners! Thanks for the exercise. Really got the juices flowing.

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This challenge was so hard for me. LOL I need to practice a bit more in order for it to sink in.

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Me too. I have learned to hit the brakes if I see a thought verb in my writing.

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Same, Cheap. I had no clue what to do lol

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So I think its: Keep it short. Concentrate on THOUGHTS. Stay away from cliche. And keep in fresh/clean.

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And you tried so hard! My heart bled!

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I started my new job last week and the lady left leaving me in charge of most of the business and hardly any training...My brain has not been very devoted to writing the last couple of weeks. My apology Sir.

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Lucky for her I enjoy running businesses and small empires...

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Also...I'd totally help you pack the boxes. That sounds fun! But I shouldn't be allowed within 500 feet of a box of chocolate. I just get this sick, twisted look in my eye. Gotta have the chocolate!

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Awwwh! Congratulations everyone!! I join the ranks of being “too writerly” but, I’m okay with that!!! I dig learning here, meeting other writers, and sharing this once in a lifetime opportunity!! Y’all fought hard and strong for this one! Look at this library that was built! That’s something to behold! ❤️👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🎁❤️ I’m like Charlie in Wonka’s Factory, “…and you. You’re just happy to be here, aren’t you?” Yes. Yes I am!

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Me too! ❤ I'm just happy to be here too 😁

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