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August 29, 2022
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There is a whole interesting dynamic of wanting to control what other people say and do, and wanting to be seen to oppose “bad things” by the “right people.”

Amazing how arbitrary these distinctions can be.

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August 29, 2022
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“All fiction is a lie. Good fiction is the truth inside the lie.” -SK

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My gym teachers name was Mrs. Boule. She smoked pall malls and was tanned like a baked ham.

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The joy of long personal conversations, is when people tell you things, things they wouldn’t tell anyone, things they know you couldn’t tell, or no one would believe

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August 29, 2022
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The older I get, the more I suspect that these terrible stories are not rare or unusual, but that the need to hide them, to save our so-called face, create the illusion of uniqueness, because so few share them.

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The fourth step, a complete history of the addiction. 'Choke' was based on such a notebook. And while haunting a sexaholics meeting I watched as one man announced that his wife had found his fourth step notebook, and how he planned to kill her when he left the meeting. That was a long, tense night of talking him down.

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It’s funny cause this tragic story about unappreciated work actually made me feel braver about mine since I feel like I’m not the only one getting unappreciated. Thanks, Thank you.

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founding

Oooo! I have a story! So… on the set of “The People VS Larry Flint,” a particular actress, while filming inside Flint’s home was leaving menstrual blood all over the furniture wherever she was sitting. Since she was very fidgety—- she changed seats frequently. The person that told me this story was the one who had to clean it.

I’ve held onto that one for a long time.

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Yikes! We should all have a mass killer in among our ex's.

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Do you have any idea how much restraint it’s taking to not make an abortion joke in response to this?

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The serial killer saved an awful lot of money on cereal and condoms.

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This reminds me: I need to pitch Chuck my idea for inclusion in ‘Fight Club 4’. Moving on from dumpster diving at liposuction clinics, Tyler has moved on to dumpster diving behind abortion clinics. His aim? He’s not making foetus soap, he’s planning to grow a body modelled in his blonde surfer image using the stem-cells. A quick brain operation/transferral and he’s no longer tethered to The Narrator.

Too much?

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Maybe implant the stem cells into the narrator and work out while hes sleeping? I dunno. Just a first thought.

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I’ll settle for a Cronenberg-esque situation in which Tyler is growing out of The Narrator like a conjoined twin.

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Saw that on South Park.

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No matter what your idea is, if South Park didnt do it, the Simpsons did.

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Gee, I wonder who that could be? ;-)

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Speaking of advertisements in the wrong place, I worked in sales at History Channel back when it was all WWII programming and one of our accounts was Nissan and we had to make sure we didn’t air in any Japanese WWII programs. German was ok, the buyer told me, but nein on Japanese. Then one day I was over at my dad’s house and he was watching History and the show was Rape of Nanking and in the first commercial break one our the Nissan spots popped up. I broke out into a sweat. The actual Nissan client in LA was an avid History fan and thankfully he didn’t see it, unlike when a BMW spot aired in a Nazi show and they pulled their advertising from the network for good.

The perils of advertising!

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Hah! I remember that back then people called it the "Hitler Channel."

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August 29, 2022
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I loved working there back in those days. My old uncles (all WWII vets and gone now, sadly) watched incessantly and I’d get them swag from the premium closet and they loved it.

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They were not wrong!

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I read something really interesting a while back about how we rarely talk about Japan's atrocities during the war, and why that is.

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Especially when you read about Nanking. BTW my post wasn’t to make light of what happened there but to make a point of how silly advertising can be.

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Of course. Just sharing how strange it is that Hitler and Nazis have been everywhere in media for 80 years, but its very rare to hear about Nanking or much of anything regarding atrocities perpetrated by Japan. Im not saying that this is 100% gospel truth, but In that article, they said that Japan never even acknowledged Nanking. And since Japan focused their energy at business that benefited the west, we never questioned it because they are useful to us.

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Not surprising.

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Does anyone know the origin of the story Chuck mentions above about that master painter the let his subject sit calmly till he/she snapped -- and only then start to paint? Who was the master painter? Are there more details to this story?

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I wish I could nail it down, but I'd be speculating. Velasquez?

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First name?

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Diego.

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Hey Chuck! I still don't have a story to submit yet, I apologize for that. Still in the works. But something came up that I wanted you to know. Our dog, Snow, we had to put her down two days ago. You sent her toys. She was 14 and started having seizures recently. She also had congestive heart failure. There was nothing the vet could do. Mom has been sobbing hard and asking for liquor. Our house feels...so lifeless now. Mom loved her dogs but said she can't go through with getting another one. So yeah, that's me right now.

Now that I'm here, I gotta say, I really enjoy the Story Night videos. My favorite is Erin. Her readings are wildly entertaining and fun.

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August 29, 2022
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Thank you, Brandon, for the welcome back. It's just been tough. Snow was our third dog we had to let go. First was an Akita named Nikki who also had hip displasia. Her eyesight went and she had to hug the walls to get around. The day the vet or animal control came to our house, she could barely get up and kept crying. They couldn't leave her here, so they took her.

There was also Rocket, a small rat terrier we had. We knew he was close because of how fatigued he got. He sort of picked a spot out in the kitchen and in a matter of minutes it seemed, he passed.

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Brandon—- love and condolences. I’m so sorry. 🌸🥺

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August 29, 2022
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I wish we could have them so much longer—- now, I’m starting to cry. Love yah folks. More hugs. 🌸♥️

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Oh no! Condolences, Joseph

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Hello Joseph. My heart goes out to you. Such agony. Can we conspire to shock you mom with something? A gift that will help in the moment? What would really delight her, even for a moment? Take care, chuck

Hey, and some of my best stories took 20+ years to write.

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That's too kind of you. It'd really be a great idea though. My first choices as far as gifts, cigarettes and booze. They definitely "help" in the moment. However, she's been into puzzles lately. So maybe something fun yet tedious to take her mind off things for a while. Other than that, I don't really know. Honestly, anything would help. The idea of getting a gift in the mail would be the delight.

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Do you mean like jig-saw puzzles?

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Yup, the jigsaw puzzles.

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Cut to a few weeks from now and you’re bequeathed something that bears an uncanny resemblance to the puzzle box from Hellraiser.

Cool to see you back hear, Jospeh. Sorry to hear about your loss.

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Nice seeing ya again, buddy! Thanks for the well wishes. And there's no need to send me the puzzle box from Hellraiser. If I wanted to experience my soul being torn apart, I'd just read my old writing. Hah!

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Joseph, look for a package around next Tuesday, via UPS. I hope your mom enjoys the puzzles.

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We got a package in the mail today. I got excited thinking it was the package you sent. But it was Snow's ashes.

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We just got the package. You're an absolute gem. Mom said to tell you thank you, much appreciated. And I'm looking forward to seeing how those glow-in-the-dark puzzles come out. She marveled at the prices on the bottom and basically said you are too generous. Also my state flower is a violet.

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I’m so sorry to hear this. I know how hard this is first hand when Louie was passing. Ugh. Sending lots of love and hugs.

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Thank you, Kerri. I missed seeing your comments <3

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Today I learned to shut up instead of asking questions, and to make friends in rural Ireland before releasing this story that makes fun of religion. Good timing on the second tip. May finish this thing soon.

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If you don't say anything to a used car salesperson, if you just sit there silently, they'll keep talking, keep lowering the price. It's always worked for me...

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Right? It's incredible, and demonstrates how people can't tolerate tension. Thus, as a writer, you learn to master tension, and you can kick ass.

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This is my tactic for tweakers who approach me on the street. Have resting asshole face anyway. A scowl and a few seconds of silence are very effective against unwanted interactions.

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"A distant and laughable third – his words, not mind, and consider that we’re talking about wannabe Nazis, here – third choice was to be a Canadian soldier."

Ouch. I wonder why.

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Speaking as a Canadian, I think we have a reputation for being wimps, maybe from that whole stereotype about over apologizing, which many of us actually do.

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No offense intended. It was such a strange detail that it's stuck in my head.

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Insult Canada again and we'll give you something to cry aboot!

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"A boot!" They cried...eh?

My sister in law is from Nova Scotia and whenever Im around her I start throwing around "eh" like I still live in Wisconsin. Canada should just annex the northern half, and the UP.

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Sorry for making you think that any of us were offended, I’d there anything else I can apologize for in the meantime??

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Because Quebec.

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As an Anglophone I can apologize for the poor quality of French education in Ontario, but it would be an offence to the Nation of Quebec to apologize on their behalf. Sorry, sorry...

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*soory

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Sorry for forgetting that ‘soory’ is the correct pronunciation in Newfoundland

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Every province is soory to me! I kid. Loved the time I spent in Canada. Just wanted to pick on you all while I had the opportunity. Please feel free to make fun of Kentucky.

You know what has 200 feet and 13 teeth?

The kentucky house of representatives.

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And their family trees look like circles, and everyone knows a guy named Jimbo or Jimbob or JimBeam or BillyBob or DannyJackBob or JackDannyBob or something

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Hat tip to Carmichael's Book Store in Louisville.

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it makes me think of James Ellroy's american tabloid trilogy, a lot of unspeakable infos about politics and cinema stars from the 50's.

some might be true, some aren't.

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Now I'm going to have to regularly google "Nazi Larping" to see if someone ever ends up purchasing those pics... good thing for Incognito

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Clearly not trying to seduce anyone here but I just had the strangest dream. We were in Portland. Most of us here. The street were packed with a parade of cars. Pumping music out of giant speakers. People wearing masks, tossing confetti and water bottles out of their car windows trying to hit us. Giving one finger and shouting at passers by.

For whatever reason we stopped at Chuck’s place. This wooden house in the suburb. We shared our pieces, we laughed. The was this lady in the kitchen corner. Hands together and dark hair nicely put together. She had this beautiful smile looking at us all. She was happy. Chuck said, “That’s my mom.”

Before leaving, I felt the sudden urge to wash the dishes we ate on. Jump to my hotel in the city with a maze of corridors and no doors. Chuck gave us a ride and said goodbye the way they do in France. Smacking our cheeks together. Then he stared at us and said, “That’s what you do in Europe, right?”

I’m visiting my parents, trying not to gain half a stone like a usually do. Must be the heavy food. So either I go on a diet or book a flight soon to join Hindsight Story Nights.

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Your post reminds me of the time a fan edited Wikipedia in order to gain VIP access for the band's concert. He claimed he was a family member of one of the band mates.. Lazy? Yes. Genius and funny!? Yes. https://time.com/4136607/peking-duk-fan-wikipedia-backstage/

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