New law: A billionaires must annually fight a kangaroo to keep their money. Can you imagine how jacked they’d be by the day of the fight? What they’d do to keep their money?
Fantastic news. Been wishing you well, virtually, on the sobriety front since you mentioned it so really pleased to hear it's been four months now. Rooting for you.
When I began to read the sentence about the live kangaroo, the first thing I thought was, “Oh, that’s a terrible idea.” Glad you declined. I don’t want you to go out like that.
Being pummelled to death by a kangaroo would certainly set an interesting precedent for author deaths. You’d have subsequent authors trying to one up your death with increasing ludicrous animal-related deaths. “Breaking: American Psycho author Bret Easton Ellis killed in freak elephant stampede incident.” And “Acclaimed Trainspotting author Irvine Welsh savagely mauled and hospitalised by Bengal Tiger while doing signings at event. His condition is currently critical.”
It seems like you are just sad no one staged an intervention for you. We can throw a party for you at a pastry shop and let you get a sugar high on jelly filled carbohydrates. Then direct you to a staged intervention on all the bad TV that you binge watch on Netflix. Chuck, I know this is hard to hear but you have a crippling addiction to.......
Awwwh! There you go! 4 months?! Man, that’s really great. I celebrate YOU! Egg said she’s going to stage an intervention because she wants french fries and ice cream. All the hugs and support.
I love fake caring about people! Say, can we take this intervention up a notch during the holidays. Add a dash of Project Mayhem to it by dressing up like three ghosts and breaking into said frenemy’s house at night. Eat his food. Drink his booze. Graffiti his walls. Change his life by thinking he’s being visited by the Manson Family for chugging one too many eggnogs. We can call this new tradition Pullin’ A Dickens. The rest of the world can refer to it as a felony.
You have the best ideas. And here is another one. Thank you!
Right? I vote for a Jackass reboot.
Dude, we are so Jackass material!
I'll buy a red pleather jacket and rassle the kangaroo as old Tyler.
Hi, I am Johny Knoxville and this is the donkey kick kangaroo in a book store.
We would all get the boot. lol
Hi, I'm Chuck Palahniuk and this is the Australian Backpack. I'm gonna jump on the back of a roided-out kangaroo and see how long it holds me.
And make sure you have them take off their shoes before they figure out what’s going on.
Congrats on the four months!
How much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight with a kangaroo?
Elon can take that challenge.
Isn’t he busy getting ready to fight that giant, bipedal lizard that owns Facebook?
Woah! Dude! I respect your deep cuts.
New law: A billionaires must annually fight a kangaroo to keep their money. Can you imagine how jacked they’d be by the day of the fight? What they’d do to keep their money?
🤣🤣🤣
Fantastic news. Been wishing you well, virtually, on the sobriety front since you mentioned it so really pleased to hear it's been four months now. Rooting for you.
When I began to read the sentence about the live kangaroo, the first thing I thought was, “Oh, that’s a terrible idea.” Glad you declined. I don’t want you to go out like that.
Imagine that poor animal facing 800 people? Mayhem ensues.
Yuuuup. They’re cute, until they’re not.
Congratulations!
Yeah, I can finally wear my normal fat clothes. Thanks!
Congrats on the sobriety. I've been working on it myself. Not always easy, but worth it.
Being pummelled to death by a kangaroo would certainly set an interesting precedent for author deaths. You’d have subsequent authors trying to one up your death with increasing ludicrous animal-related deaths. “Breaking: American Psycho author Bret Easton Ellis killed in freak elephant stampede incident.” And “Acclaimed Trainspotting author Irvine Welsh savagely mauled and hospitalised by Bengal Tiger while doing signings at event. His condition is currently critical.”
It seems like you are just sad no one staged an intervention for you. We can throw a party for you at a pastry shop and let you get a sugar high on jelly filled carbohydrates. Then direct you to a staged intervention on all the bad TV that you binge watch on Netflix. Chuck, I know this is hard to hear but you have a crippling addiction to.......
We can chase him around town in a van.
. . . Veins swell
You know me well enough to tell
Five steps you're over . . .
After that, we can stage a pastry intervention for me at a bookstore. Its not normal to buy $30 worth of pastries for one person.
Of course you post while I’m at work in the ER. Will read later. :(
I'm looking forward to your miraculous weight loss journey memoir where you share how you just replaced every glass of wine with four doughnuts.
And you feel good? A little bit better physically and mentally?
Chuck is a scumlord, he'll never survive this.
What was it Jesse Pinkman said about Walter White on that one episode? "HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!"
Awwwh! There you go! 4 months?! Man, that’s really great. I celebrate YOU! Egg said she’s going to stage an intervention because she wants french fries and ice cream. All the hugs and support.
Are you actually a True Alcoholic like Big Book says?
I've had an intervention, once, it was mainly my sister trying to put me on blast.
I love fake caring about people! Say, can we take this intervention up a notch during the holidays. Add a dash of Project Mayhem to it by dressing up like three ghosts and breaking into said frenemy’s house at night. Eat his food. Drink his booze. Graffiti his walls. Change his life by thinking he’s being visited by the Manson Family for chugging one too many eggnogs. We can call this new tradition Pullin’ A Dickens. The rest of the world can refer to it as a felony.
Congrats on your sobriety, Chuck.
I heard reccently somewhere that Dickens was antisemitic. Can anyone confirm/deny that?