Under Hypnosis I
As Close to a Psychotic Break as I Care 2 Get
ThIs PaSt WeEKend at HypnoThought, tHe World’S LarGGest Conventi0n 4 Hypnotists and Mentalists and Their Ilk
More than ever before, I wish that David Foster Wallace were alive right now. Had I a magic lamp to rub, I’d wish for Foster Wallace to tag along with me at the Sahara Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas1 and to have experienced the annual get-together where religious leaders and advertising gurus and stand-up comedians gather from around the world to teach each other new methods of hypnosis. Did I mention faith healers? And musicians, yes, musicians are very aware of hypnotic tricks as they compose.
It seems that only fiction writers don’t deliberately employ the tricks.
Who’ll Give Me an ‘Amen’?
It was three full days of learning every old trick. And every new one. Most often, I was the only rube in the ballroom who did NOT know what “sexy suntan lotion” was, so of course I had to volunteer to find out. Until you’ve repeatedly been flummoxed and tricked and gaslighted by hundreds of strangers, well, you’ve just not rode the knife’s edge of your sanity. Did I mentioned I got “human bridged”? Total strangers argued about whether or not to teach me the unethical stuff. Eventually, hey, I was a reporter once, so I sought out individuals and, yes, they talked.
What took place — and what Foster Wallace could’ve done with it — would easily eclipse A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again. Picture yourself in a vast Vegas entertainment complex — where the Magic Mike franchise holds its on-going shows — and everyone around you is a high-talking performer. The temperature hits 119 degrees outside, and indoors the CrowdStrike techno breakdown has botched the computers so no one can check in to their room. You’re trapped with conventioneers who began as magicians but got tired of hauling their props and shit around… so now they’re hypnotists. And ministers. And therapists.
To cover this past weekend, well, I’ll have to give it to you in little bits. Otherwise, you’d be as bowled over as I am.
The First Take-Away Is…
For the love of Christ, always turn your entire head when you direct your gaze. Do NOT simply move your eyes as you would when looking at a screen. Or page.