73 Comments

Do you think people shouted down and heckled your idea without knowing the details because they were jealous that your fame/ ability had gotten you the chance to speak over them? I find it funny the assumptions other people make about public figures without even knowing the person.

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Few people were actually speaking, and the host seemed to call out people in order to increase discussion.

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I still have yet to see a douche commercial. I’m 39.

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Joan Rivers had a stand-by joke about the fact it was called "Disposable" douche -- as if you'd keep it, otherwise. "I'd like to show you my douche collection."

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I miss Joan Rivers.

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Now Im imagining a rare douche made out of Belgian Congo rubber from the turn of the last century, just before that famous photo was taken. The rubber encrusted in gemstones spaced far enough apart that you can still give it a good squeeze. The douche nozzle hand forged out of sterling silver.

The photo is horrific, and caused the rest of the world to run Belgium out of the congo. https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/father-hand-belgian-congo-1904/

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John, I was honestly expecting to see some Congo inspired douche. All you gave me were severed hands and the realization that no matter how far I scroll, I’m not actually gonna see the douche.

A part of me still believes that a picture of one is there if I scroll down far enough.

I, also, am scared that the brutality them Belgiums there inflicted is lurking somewhere, in some place or people.

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Its in all of us.

The ones that play pretend that theyre not capable of such darkness are the ones to watch out for.

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You gotta watch the five minute marathon!

I needed a good laugh tonight. Convention was exhausting this weekend. Thank you for all the links in the posts!!! Sorry the group was not the listening type.

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I'm sorry I didn't shout down the jokesters. I wanted to hear the proposal.

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Hey, well, thanks for the support COMRADE !!

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Did you notice that Oliver and I were whispering? Especially over the stated remark that people who buy cars in Oregon don't have to pay sales tax... Which they do, in order to register a vehicle in their home state. It was a flawed evening.

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That heckling was bogus!

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I sometimes wonder if dangerous metaphors are going to be more or less effective in this current age where things seem to be taken a lot more literally (regardless of whether in good or bad faith). This neurotic need to place everything into categories and label everything — like books with warning/trigger labels — is the death of nuance.

I also sometimes think that people can be so frustrated due to not being able to talk about a certain topic that when eventually something comes along that does — be it book, movie, etc — it may be more “refreshing” if it does so outrightly. If it “tears the band-aid off” and does so without compromise or concern.

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Next time I'll take a bomb like George Saunders did, and think of brick walls.

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(Village of the) Damned if you do, damned if you don’t

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Thank you for your douching—how else can people confront the dark, dirty bits they try to keep inside themselves.

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As someone who is the baby of the family and couldn’t get a story out because of being constantly interrupted, I’m really sorry you went through that. It feels awful. And leaving is what I resorted to so many times. I hope you’re able to send your proposal to someone who will listen.

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The event was just a good opportunity to identify the phenomenon.

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I’m not even the baby and I experienced this. I’m the first of 3 grandchildren on my mother’s side of the family and yet somehow my sister was the only person in the room who ever heard anything I said. My family all talks louder than each other in an effort to be heard and I just eventually gave up.

That was my family in the PNW. My family in the Midwest is not like that at all, but I didn’t grow up close to them and as a result didn’t even try getting a word in by the time we moved here haha

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I work in EMS and run a meme page for EMS providers, about 75k followers between FB and IG. We talk about anything and everything, and joke about it too. The worst of the worst about our profession, from the hoarders and drug abusers to the skyrocketing suicide rates of my brothers and sisters. Personally I haven't felt that there are any topics we can't talk about anymore, it's all about the intent of the joke or conversation.

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Would you link the page here? The gallows humor of EMS people always strikes a chord with me.

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I was much angrier when I started that page years ago, some people say we've slipped but I think we still get pretty raunchy

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No issues with "slipping." You've got to vary your tone or people grow deaf to it.

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Absolutely. For a while I was worried about pushing away my core audience, the most loyal followers, but then I realized I have to stay true to myself first

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The prompt says the page is limited to a small group. Thanks for sharing the link, but I understand if it needs to be curated a tad.

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That shouldn't be, it's a public page. Maybe I posted the wrong link, one second

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It is the same with my nursing friends. I hear all kinds of interesting stories from the operating room.

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Yeah we definitely don't lack story fuel

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Seeing my mother's douchebag hanging in her shower and - later - her dildo in the bathroom cabinet are some of my more heartwarming childhood memories. Damn, I'd love to hear that proposal.

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For another time.

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I've always been awful at gauging the room. Or at finding a room where the unspoken rules didn't suffocate me. I finally renounced going to any room. Which is sad, because I know there are souls out there yearning to talk about what people don't want to discuss. But so far, I haven't had much luck in finding them. I won't stop talking, though.

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Consider that almost all writers are people who want to have an effect from a distance. We're usually not good in person.

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I would’ve thrown a ‘hissy fit’ too.

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I recently watched Capote's Swans and I was captivated when Capote said "You want to write? Write down everything. Listen to everything. Notice everything." I just loved that. And the quote "If you're going to tell them the truth, make them laugh or else they will kill you."

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Nora Ephron, "Everything is copy."

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In the eventual movie, we will all be beautiful. And Patrick will be the most beautiful.

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Yeah cause he's the most handsome!

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Did you see 'Gods and Monsters'? The dead are always more beautiful.

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No! I will watch it today! Sounds awesome!

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I just found it and I'm watching it now. It looks so great.

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"I was a freak of a nature. They were like a family of farmers who were given a giraffe and didn't know what to do with him." I just love this movie. That was me.

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I just finished it! I just love it and teared up a bit! The note at the end: "Friends?" So sweet! Thank you Mr Palahniuk! That was a great one.

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"That was about as welcome as a fart at a wedding" - quoting me, on topics not well-received by a particular crowd.

I often seen to be that guy who makes the observation no one wants to acknowledge which is followed by silence or nervous laughter.

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The proverbial "turd in the punch bowl."

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Love how you utilized your bold headings. Reading this was fun and intriguing. Hmmm… yes, try a different audience.

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Gonna use my embargoed proposal as the platform for a last-minute, dark-horse presidential run. Don't tell Mike, not until the movers arrive to haul our shit to the White House.

Mike: "You did frigg'n WHAT?!!"

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Resourceful! Bold! No one wants the job and everyone criticizes those who are elected. Long live court jesters..

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Your Patrick story reminded me of the Seinfeld episode about the burned-down cabin. “And I loved him deeply. In a way you could never understand.”

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Your story about the family gatherings where certain topics are avoided made me think of the fact that speaking your heart out is somehow similar to walking naked. In front of whom would you be capable to do that and who would be interested of such thing? Isn’t it sometimes easier with strangers? 😉

As to the “gathering of artists and writers and filmmakers” “to contribute ideas to the platform of a rising local candidate” I am not sure why that doesn’t feel right to me (or it feels rather dangerous) but it does… but maybe I don’t fully understand the purpose of the initiative.

Also I am genuinely sorry that you weren’t listened sir. I have the feeling it was a proposal dear to your heart… which brings me back to my initial thought. Perhaps you weren’t addressing it to the right group of people…

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Reading this post brought back memories of my past life in corporate America (eew…) which was crammed full of “know your audience” reminders when creating presentations, contract proposals, and so on. I did it for more than two decades, but never fit the stereotypical corporate mold because I LOVED talking about the douche commercial and finding ways to force people out of their blue suit and white dress shirt comfort zone; I definitely was not one of them. The creative writing space is a far better environment for my brain.

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