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April 3, 2022
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There's a long lecture in what you speak. Tom used to begin each new batch of students with the writing prompt: Write about something you just barely remember. The point being that as you put down one small detail of a past event, it frees your mind to retrieve another detail, then another. Once you have an applicable purpose for knowledge or memory your mind begins to work tricks you'd never imagine possible. Your skill at recovery information, structuring it and finding unlikely connections improves immensely.

Writing is problem solving. Worse, it's problem creating -- then solving. If nothing else, writing allows you to trick yourself into exploring aspects of yourself you're not conscious of. It looks like fun at first -- like moving to Stepford Village -- and you're too far in once you discover the horrible truth. You have to push on through to the end.

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Mister Palahniuk, I have been such a long time fan, to even get a bit of brief attention on this site means the world to me, to have you read a piece of my writing has already made my year, but to receive such in-depth and fantastic feedback is beyond what I could have ever hoped for. The notes you gave put a smile on my face as can imagine all the parts you propose amping it all even more. A bit embarrassing to say I can’t even use enough words to express my gratitude but thank you so much. I am forever grateful.

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Oh and I learned about Stendhal Syndrome because of Diary actually and it’s been one of my favorite “fun fact” party conversation starters!

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Hey, you're welcome. And thank you for sticking your neck out. I'm always stymied by students who'll pay a fortune and then never submit work. In Tom's workshop we knocked each other down in order to put our work forward.

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That’s the stand still I come to: good/bad/indifferent, the creative process is delicately brutal, in itself. Tutelage from one’s hero’s is something most would only ever dream of having. To be given the opportunity, and to squander it for fear of ridicule or rejection is the greatest tragedy I can think of. Besides wearing a button up shirt with a double breasted smoking jacket. Gross. Grow up.

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Good work, all! Please post your revisions. Would love to see how the notes get incorporated in a future draft. (Also, reformatting my Substack to be more print friendly just in case...)

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How would one do that, if one were so inclined?

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Oh, I just had my background as a dark grey with white text, so I switched it to the classic white background with black text. That's me. Always form before function.

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Shit… well. Thanks for responding, first of all. Much obliged. As it happens, seems that makes two of us. Gotta go change now.

🍻🤝 Cheers

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Hah! I'd tried to print yours as well. We're all new at this process, we'll learn.

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Well I’m hoping you were trying to print mine to use as a glaring example of what not to do, and not because you ran out of toilet paper. Either way, I followed Andrew’s lead and switched my background to white. Thanks again Andy!

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Shit, you were prob talking to Andrew. Never mind what I said. Typo. Cat walked across my keyboard. And common sense

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Very cool. It’s interesting to see all the differences in style/pacing/content etc. and noticing little things that remind me of Chucks style… it’s an essence.

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Just saw the Cake Wreck post. Found a Gatsby #CakeWreck on Twitter I thought folks here would appreciate. https://twitter.com/ChappellTracker/status/894021215282659328

Had to stifle laughter and associated laughing tears in my apartment while going through the Cake Wreck site. Thank you. : )

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I liked the selfie bit in Touch the Art. I feel like people do risky things as part of selfie culture and this story touches on that. Reminds me of the nice yellow car that raced down a frozen river and then broke through the ice. Pictures floated all over the internet of the car owner standing on the nose of her car, taking a selfie as the vehicle was coming close to being fully submerged.

In The Stuffed Crust Conquistador, I loved the mummified hotdog. It really painted a picture of the small town and how the character felt. The hot dog goes from delicious to petrified!

Also modern day grave diggers are an attention grabber. You always hear about the ancient Egyptian tomb robbers trashing mummies and getting away with gold and precious stones. Sometimes I wonder if the future holds a Mad Max scenario where desperate people are digging us up to hock off our wedding rings, family jewels, or raisined heirlooms. Our gravestones, once a memorial, a future target for looting. This story left me excited about what they fish out of the earth and discover while unwrapping the mummy, so to speak.

The final story was pretty scary which is perfect for the horror genre. It evoked emotion and built tension as I read through it. Definitely a hot topic in the news over the past decade.

It was insightful reading through the feedback. This stuff is helpful! Love the doggy breaks. : )

Read the submerging the I post from a while back. Looks like I have some editing to do. Thank you for helping me see one of my blind spots! Now I will be watching how other writers submerge the I as I read.

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Thank you!

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Thanks for reading our work. I believe I’d read the other two submitted already and enjoyed them a lot. Man it’s amazing how creative the folks here are. Chuck (and all the writers he points to who have helped him develop) has a way of getting people on a new wavelength and pulling up great ideas (and executing them) from whatever place ideas come from. Chuck is a really important conduit for me in helping me tap into that, as I’m sure he is for everyone else here. And it’s not just limited to Chuck. I’ve read so many great comments from people on here that completely change my perspective and spur new ideas. I love the community of people here.

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It is fun to work with other creators and look through each others work. Helping each other out with new ideas and getting better at writing together. I am really enjoying the experience!

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You read your favourite author’s work for years waiting for a way to tell him how much it changed you. And then you end up with that very same author going to the gym with a printed copy of your work folded in the bag and giving you the most detailed, constructive feedback you’ve ever received.

Chuck, that’s priceless. Thank you for doing this.

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No problem. I only wish I'd started this process earlier.

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You know when you shake a bottle of fizzy drink too much and it turns rock solid and all bubbles inside go crazy trying to escape and explode? That's how everyone is feeling right now.

Trust me, we're all just happy and flattered you even started.

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That’s a perfect euphemism actually. I feel more like when you know the report card is probably in mailbox, and you’re hoping for the belt and not the bat. Also remembering to let mom check mail, so she can take the hit instead. 4D chess. 🤓

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Definitely a meaningful experience.

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What he said 👆

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This is very interesting. Yesterday I was flipping through Consider This and saw the name Karen Karbo and I wanted to know what she taught you during your workshop days.

Particularize your objects.

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Remy! Great job! I love the writing prompt stories--it's fun seeing how they all turn out so differently. One of my favorite lines from "Please Touch the Art" is, "When pleading to a higher being for some inspiration, sometimes the devil answers." Great title too; on so many levels it just works. I like Chuck's advice about dropping in the idea about many everyday items later to be found deadly. I like this because you could choose common, tangible, concrete items that would be relatable to almost any reader. Looking forward to the next draft! Now on to the other two selections...

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Thank you for the feedback and praise! I’m glad so many are responding positively and am certainly taking in these all notes. Much appreciated

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Hi Matt! Nice work! Here are a few of my favorite details: How the grave robber's bottom lip always hangs open. The bit about being a hotdog forever spinning. You give good "head knowledge" throughout using an engaging voice. I like how you set up Grody as a scum bag, even down to his name, and then reveal he has cancer. I caught Chuck's suggestion about drawing out that reveal, and that's pretty clever. Looking forward to the next draft! Onto the next...

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Thanks a ton. I really appreciate it. I’m going to write a separate comment responding to Chuck as I’m just not seeing this this afternoon. You have no idea how motivating it is to hear people give kind thoughts even though it’s a work in progress. People are very generous here.

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Nice work Greg! You're giving us a story about what goes on in the mind of a school shooter. How did this happen. How did he get here. You use some specific details like being inside a trash can, being rejected from homecoming dance, and I think more specific details throughout (particulars about everything, not just being an outcast/rejection) would really amp up your story. I like the Rice Krispies bit. Here's a thought: What if at the end, you just do snap...crackle. You could leave the pop for what happens after the story is over, and also it would work to make your narrator not a deceased storyteller. Can't wait to see how your next draft looks.

Greg, I’d also like to add I was eager to learn more about the counselor/narrator relationship/what the narrator perceived to be a relationship.

Nice work, gentlemen! Onward.

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In Tom's workshop the response to one person's work was usually of benefit to everyone. We can all learn from one and other's successes and missteps.

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Most definitely! Thanks to everyone for putting yourselves out there!

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This has been such a good task! I've really enjoyed reading the work done by all of you, and the revision notes are amazing. I think the process of critiquing work has helped me learn loads too, as in how the stories can be developed and tweaked to take them even further. I'm looking forward to further installments.

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Terrific work! It’s a joy to read everyone’s stories and imagine Chuck doing the same on a park bench with a red pen and a maté latte. Thank you for your hard work, your insight, and your constant inspiration.

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So many great stories here that I would never have gotten the chance to read otherwise.

Thanks, Chuck!

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Chuck, I’m not gonna lie... Some parts from other chapters I lumped into the first chapter and it’s so funny how you sniffed that out. I’m glad you confirmed that I need to not jump around so much on some areas such as the dying tree and the airport scene. The airport scene and the dying tree are what I originally started with on this piece. I really like those parts but, as I mentioned in my comment on the post submissions, I was concerned that they were too distracting and didn’t flow well. So, thank you for confirming that they don’t fit right there. I definitely think they will fit in the other chapters.

I love the idea of the probes and am glad you caught onto that. Sometimes with objects it’s hard to know if the reader will think nothing of them or if they will get hooked and wonder what they are for. I loved your suggestion on tying a history to them and perhaps making them lucky and having them as a sort of charm with a bit of superstition.

Also thank you for confirming that I should not reveal the issue with Grody’s cancer. I’ll be updating this to be more vague rather than immediately spelling out what the deal is that they have worked out and why. If it’s alright, I’d be curious as to your thoughts on where I’m going with this (spoiler alert!).

What they uncover is essentially a grave of something that is inhuman and not fully decomposed. It’s a beast -- meant to be a Skinwalker, although I will never use that term. The site is surrounded in a circle of hundreds of blades enclosed around the body with a massive blade through the skull. They remove this protection ring around the beast, along with removing the blade from the center of the skull. The idea is that somehow this creature is going to completely destroy them -- follow them -- lurk in shadows -- play mind games with them, etc.

Meanwhile the main character is going to become addicted to plastic surgery and use his artifact scam to fund his operations. My plan is to go into the detail of how he knapps arrowheads and the breaking away of the stone (flaking) is going to be a metaphor for what his going through in his own body with sloughing off unwanted pieces. He’s had an abusive childhood that involved turning him into an obese and socially awkward dude and a lot about that will be slowly revealed as the story goes on. My goal is to have the reader despise him and slowly empathize with him. Thank you for confirming that it’s ok to not immediately reveal Grody’s cancer -- I was concerned that I might lose the reader if I didn’t load that in up front in the setup.

All of this story came from a hobby of mine. My dad and I like to arrowhead hunt. Don’t worry folks, we absolutely do not rob graves or dig. But this is where a lot of my background on this comes from. I’ve also gone through a major weight loss over the past year and am now in the healthiest shape of my life (almost have a six pack now after previously being nearly 300 lbs). This story has a lot to do with the dissatisfaction I’ve had with my body my entire life.

All that said, considering where I’m planning to go with this story, do you have any other feedback to throw my way given that new information on where the story is going?? PS - I love the idea on using the probe as a way to link the living to the dead underworld and also maybe using a metaphor for the antennae as being a transmitting device. There is a lot I’m going to be turning over in my mind given your feedback. Thanks again so much.

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Wait! Do not talk the steam out of your story. This is a big warning, once you're too clear on your intended path, you risk losing interest. It's fine to have a vague idea -- Fight Club was originally about two guys and a girl, honestly -- but please allow your subconscious to provide some set-ups you're still unaware of. Later, when you see how your gut has skillfully shaped the work, you'll be amazed.

It's the magic of the moving object. The grave robbing, for instance. It creates what Lish called "the line of flight" and that takes the story on a trajectory unknown even to the author. Okay?

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Got it! Thanks. Will do. While working out tonight I already came up with some huge changes to integrate the CB antenna to give it more history about the character and make his an object that has been in his life a long time and ties to others in his life that will bridge to the past. It will be a great object/device to connect past to present, which I’d been wondering how to do with this one. These changes will fit with what I’ve already written.

FYI - I’ve previously trashed some bad ideas that I thought of ahead before writing them and instead the proceeding chapters I wrote came on whims to fit where the story was going. So, much of the other five chapters I’ve written so far haven’t been written with the idea of reaching a certain pre-thought point. But, yes, the unearthing of this otherworldly thing was more or less written sporadically as I went without much of a plan.

But I follow what you’re saying and get that I shouldn’t get too far ahead in making assumptions about what will happen with what they unearth and how exactly the story will tailspin into disaster. It’s funny to think that you have already trained yourself not to jump ahead too much. That’s something I’m sure many of us here are still learning. I will keep this in mind as I proceed. Thanks again.

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Hey Chuck. I made changes to my story. The Substack post is updated now and has a link at the bottom to the original draft for people to reference.

Changes:

-Re-worked the opening to start with a phrase that I want to point to as a central theme.

-Removed passages about the airport and tree to use later.

-Removed reference to Grody’s cancer and re-worked it to keep that territory more obscure.

-Made the CB antennae a personal object and gave it a name.

I hope you think these changes work. It feels like it flows much better now.

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Oh last thing... I fixed “Tinkertoys” and did a more ‘on the body’ description.

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It was fascinating to read the stories, and then think about Chuck’s advice. I haven’t yet written anything so I don’t feel I could give my opinion as a writer, but as a voracious reader, please consider this: a small typo will take me right out of the world you have created. One misplaced apostrophe or a missing “and” suddenly makes me realize that I am reading a story, and I begin to think of the author instead of falling deeper into the world they have created. Proofread! And then have someone else do it as well.

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Consider that a consistent mistake or flaw take create an authority that transcends correct grammar. Look how Hubert Selby, Jr. warps language, or Anthony Burgess. So long as the story's voice has it's own consistent rules. More important, things must be happening that create tension and pull the reader forward past apparent flaws.

Several reviews for the novel Fight Club in 1996 stated that the reviewer hated the voice and threw the book behind a piece of furniture. But hours later the reviewer had to retrieve the book because he had to know how it would resolve.

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Oh, I agree! I'm not talking about style of voice, but the small random 'oops' (perhaps autocorrect) that the author may be too familiar with to catch.

And were you trolling me with that "it's"? lol.

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Thank you! I was feeling, I don't know, rude, for noting misspelled words and feeling like I caught my sweater on a staple. I can't help it!

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