The thing that stands out to me is the danger of radiation poisoning because of some nuclear fallout juxtaposed with the hot winters and the hotter summers. Typically nuclear war would cause nuclear winter or emp damage. I don't think you would get the horrible warming until after the nuclear winters which would place the story well into the apocalypse.
Chuck thanks for the notes! This is incredible. I've been reading your books since I was in high school (twenty years ago.) I used to have to special order your books from this independent book store in the mall. Lol. Would take like a week for each one to arrive. Anyway, I started writing about a year ago. I'm kicking myself now for not trying it sooner. I picked up "Consider This" only a few months ago. Again, kicking myself for not having read it sooner. So much great (concrete, applicable) stuff in there. This substack has been great too. So many good writers in here. And you've been very generous with advice. Can't thank you enough!
Thanks for sharing, Richie. I love how neat and contained this story is. It goes a long way to underscore the main concern over Charolette. The imagery surrounding the dress and the doll also are a great counterpoint to the harsh world they exist in.
I agree with Chuck’s advice on the “Thunderdome” reference. In fact, I’d be curious to see how it read without even using the word “apocalyptic.” When I read “apocalyptic,” I think of a bunch of preconceived notions and cliches that I don’t think this story needs. If you were to forego it I think you could build up your own world in a really compelling way without bringing on extra baggage (if that makes sense.)
For example, the way you describe how the narrator has to remind himself not to worry about the slamming door because the flies are all dead is brilliant! That single concrete anecdote, really brought their world to life for me.
Thanks for sharing “Meltdown” with us. What a great title!!
As someone who has experienced the wrath of a two, now three year old (still not over), this story was so so so so so enjoyable. And juxtaposed with the apocalyptic theme—just a spot on yes for me.
I love the line, “She saunters with the drunk swagger of a pirate; her head is poised and stately, and yet she canters as if she’s testing her sea legs.” My thought throughout this paragraph was, Charlotte’s a zombie! Then you give it to us in that last line. I love it.
The talking doll is great. You could really do some fun stuff with that.
I love the ending.
Nice work. Good advice from Chuck. Take it to town.
The thing that stands out to me is the danger of radiation poisoning because of some nuclear fallout juxtaposed with the hot winters and the hotter summers. Typically nuclear war would cause nuclear winter or emp damage. I don't think you would get the horrible warming until after the nuclear winters which would place the story well into the apocalypse.
Chuck thanks for the notes! This is incredible. I've been reading your books since I was in high school (twenty years ago.) I used to have to special order your books from this independent book store in the mall. Lol. Would take like a week for each one to arrive. Anyway, I started writing about a year ago. I'm kicking myself now for not trying it sooner. I picked up "Consider This" only a few months ago. Again, kicking myself for not having read it sooner. So much great (concrete, applicable) stuff in there. This substack has been great too. So many good writers in here. And you've been very generous with advice. Can't thank you enough!
Thanks for sharing, Richie. I love how neat and contained this story is. It goes a long way to underscore the main concern over Charolette. The imagery surrounding the dress and the doll also are a great counterpoint to the harsh world they exist in.
I agree with Chuck’s advice on the “Thunderdome” reference. In fact, I’d be curious to see how it read without even using the word “apocalyptic.” When I read “apocalyptic,” I think of a bunch of preconceived notions and cliches that I don’t think this story needs. If you were to forego it I think you could build up your own world in a really compelling way without bringing on extra baggage (if that makes sense.)
For example, the way you describe how the narrator has to remind himself not to worry about the slamming door because the flies are all dead is brilliant! That single concrete anecdote, really brought their world to life for me.
Thanks again!
Hey Richie!!
Thanks for sharing “Meltdown” with us. What a great title!!
As someone who has experienced the wrath of a two, now three year old (still not over), this story was so so so so so enjoyable. And juxtaposed with the apocalyptic theme—just a spot on yes for me.
I love the line, “She saunters with the drunk swagger of a pirate; her head is poised and stately, and yet she canters as if she’s testing her sea legs.” My thought throughout this paragraph was, Charlotte’s a zombie! Then you give it to us in that last line. I love it.
The talking doll is great. You could really do some fun stuff with that.
I love the ending.
Nice work. Good advice from Chuck. Take it to town.
"I just wanted to throw the kid in the car."
A couple of paragraphs in, that was exactly my feeling.
Nice one Richie.
Nice story, i too wanted the father to grab the kid and put it in the car, the payoff was great.
I love the line "Winters are now summers and summers are now hell"
As usual, great suggestions Chuck. Especially the gasoline + cigarette one.
There are so many talented writers here, so inspiring.
The bottom of my coffee cup told me i'll have my story gloved off soon, it also predicted my hairs would grow back, so...
The beginning of the Handmaid's Tale, if I remember correctly, does a really good job of building dread in an apocalyptic world.