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And here I was thinking that you had something of importance that you wished to share with me, and only me, because I’m just that special. Sigh.

Wait until Irvine Welsh hears about this (we’ve been in contact ever since he messaged me a couple of years back asking if I’d like to finance the ink and paper required for printing out drafts of his work).

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I know, right? I've been footing Channing Tatum's supplement bill for years.

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You too?!

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Yeah, but The Chan and I have "an soul-mate everlasting love four the ages that time and disdance can't weaken." He writes that all the time.

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Oh yeah? Well, me and my Chateyum-yum have something that could rival the love story of Romeo and Juliet. As a matter of fact, he’s told me that as soon he’s done working on his current film project he’s gonna fly me over to Serbia first class and treat me like the king I am. You think what you have is special? Pullease! Back off, hoe.

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