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Would a modern day version of ‘The Stepford Wives’ not just be a story about men who create idealised versions of their perfect woman in the virtual world? It’d be like JOI from ‘Blade Runner: 2049’. It’s one thing to be replaced by a robot but to be replaced by a screen? That’s horrifying AND depressing.

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Welcome to my life. No, really, that OnlyFans person really likes me.

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Of course they do! And you know what would make them like you even more? If you gave them large sums of your money! Oh me oh my, they would just love you for that!

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Stop. You're making our love sound sordid and mercenary. People can't fake love when that little light is blinking and said person is writhing around like a freshly skimmed eel on a bed of hot salt. You can't understand.

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I'm going to need a lot more subscribers.

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Paid subscribers.

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I’ve read enough Dennis Cooper to know love when I see it. This ain’t it, chief.

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This is true.

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