Cheryl Chatterton, author of “Salutations of Distant Remembrance,” is the editor of the online magazine ‘Encouraging Good Behavior through Somatic Reinforcement.’ She penned her debut poetry collection, ‘Fond Embraces’ in the span of a sleepless weekend. When she is not organizing a family reunion as the Chatterton matriarch, Cheryl enjoys desert herb gardening and pebble painting. Cheryl lives in Sheridan, Wyoming with her son and daughter-in-law.
Pebble D. | Author of 'Anthropoidic Mycelium' and member of the North American Mycological Society. Enjoys going on mushroom forays and rock climbing. Included in the viral New York Times article titled, "2024's Biggest Plant Shows" photo bombing Cheryl Chatterton at the IFPA The Global Produce & Floral Show. Photo caught a rip in Cheryl's pants revealing hot pink leopard print and a liposuction scar.
Dudley Trank, 'Water Your F'ing Lawn,' doesn't have time for unshaved pits, hippies on mushroom highs, or anything remotely leopard. In his spare time, serves as Mayor of Sheridan, Wyoming, and enjoys a good nap.
Liasa Leuken, 'I am Mother Nature: Nude Expressions' explores nature and femininity with close-up tasteful nudes endowed with painted nature scenes. Her recent book and nude project has recently changed the mind of her newest husband, Dudley Trank, who has discovered that he does,in fact, have time, an enormous amount of time for hippy shit when he gets to photograph countless nude women wearing flower paint which include his new hot wife and her equally hot friends. He still doesn't like anything remotely leopard. He now finds himself somehow doing all the chores and grocery shopping.
Timothy Dratch, "Affairs in Landscapes," has received accolades for his investigative journalism into the mysterious string of paintings that appeared around Sheridan depicting "empty" nature scenes. Closer inspection revealed the hidden nude forms of Pebble D. and Cheryl Chatterton in flagrante delicto. His upcoming essay, "Cheater in the Background," asks such poignant questions as: can a Hudson River School landscape classify as revenge porn?
Lawnica Wank, 'Penis Envy', would like to advise "The Dud" to keep his little tiny opinions to his very small self. You didn't mind leopard print thongs or hairy armpits the day before your wedding anniversary two years ago, little guy. Oh, and the abortion? Let's just say it was a "ghost abortion". And the haunting's just beginning, pinky winky. Lawnica Wank is, of course, a pseudonym.
Hannah Trank, 'Daddy's Piece is Just Fine, Thank You,' wants to make it clear that micropenis is more common than you might think, but the presence of such a tiny member does not preclude a virile male from laying pipe and making babies. So suck it, "Lawnica."
Sheriff Boyd-Trank, ‘Encouraging Good Behaviour Through Law Enforcement’ ‘Desert Herb Gardening: Slang And Codes In Underground Traffic Circles’ has just posted a bounty for both Cheryl Chatterton and her previous collaborator, Pebble D. Both are considered armed. Cheryl’s son and step daughter remain on the suspect list with status unknown. Reward for whereabouts.
Genevieve S. Small, “Blink Twice If You See Me,” is also the author of several to-do lists she hasn’t gotten around to. She and her cat Lucy make their home in Brooklyn. This is her first published work.
Lucille van Ness, “A Familiar Tail,” moonlights as a bookseller in Greenwich Village and is always on the prowl for her next poem. Her recent work has appeared or is forthcoming in Blackbird, The Believer, and Passages North. In a previous life she oversaw the translations of Mark Twain’s musings. When she’s not composing found list poetry, Lucy can be found daydreaming on a fire escape in Brooklyn.
Jenny Asterberry, ‘Roommate Issues: When The Kitty Litter Won’t Change Itself’ with the recent posting ‘Your Cat Did Not Write That Bio, So, No You Can’t Blame That One On The “Dog”’ has attempted everything from Haitian Voodoo to Midwestern Canadian Zen and has found that enough is enough. The smell is causing her to blink more than twice. The next time she blinks, Jenny hopes to open her eyes to an apartment empty of Genevieve.
Dagger, just Dagger, 'Undead or Alive,' is a hunter, so to speak. He drinks his coffee charred and smokes the kind of cigarettes that give you cancer. Ever seen a vampire? You're welcome. Whether he's tracking down his arch-nemesis, Graf Orlok, or crawling through the muddy sand of Massachusetts in search of eldritch horrors, he always gets his monster. And he don't need no "Google Maps", like Harker the hack, neither. Currently, Dagger is hunting a cat demon who possesses her victims with unblinking eyes, forcing them to write incantations in the form of poetry.
Djinny Astralbearing, author of ‘When The Door Opens Behind Closed Eyes’ and ‘Was It Voodoo Or Zen That Let The Entity In?’ Is one of Jenny Asterberry’s alternate pen names. Jenny, the mirror. Yes, sometimes in the reflection of Genevieve’s window is where Djinny can be found. And, yes, sometimes on the glass portal-like doors at the laundromat that Jenny finds herself staring at, watching her laundry turn over and over is where Djinny can be found. In Jenny’s and Genevieve’s bathroom is where Djinny is mostly found. Penning around. Jenny needs to look at the mirror and not think about the laundromat! Jenny can try opening her ears first. Djinny wants Jenny to know that Jenny pushed her rage down to far, that it burst up through the sand on the other side of the world. That that was how Djinny was freed from Djinny’s prison. That Djinny owes a debt to Jenny’s rage. Djinny will grant Jenny one wish if Jenny gives Djinny all of her rage. Don’t worry Jenny, it’s impossible for a cat to talk. Djinny knows that Jenny’s right so Jenny doesn’t have to worry about Djinny and the innocent cat that Jenny knows can’t chat. Djinny has no problem with cats. Cats don’t talk, Jenny. When Jenny is ready, Jenny can open her eyes and let all the rage into Djinny. Don’t worry Jenny, Djinny says don’t worry when you open your eyes to only find you in the mirror, Jenny. Djinny will be back with you shortly.
Helena Ellison: Contributing author of 'Historia Veneficii'. Enjoys rose gardening and country side driving. Winner of the Berkshire Conference of Women Historians Book Prize. Member of the Latin National Honor Society and the International Guild of Knot Tyers North America. Currently working on a modern translation of the Heptameron. Collects antique blades and spring lancets. Earned a bachelors degree in history and masters degree in historical forensics at Miskatonic University.
Percy Fish, "Queer Burials: Love and the Death Industry," wants to emphasize that his name is NOT a typo. It is not Fisher nor Fishbach - it's just Fish. Fish received his BA in History at Dunwich Community College and uses it to trace back patrilineal lines and to write about your gay ancestors for his blog. His essay, "Last Rites in the Atlantic," was nominated for the Pushcart Prize. Fish has never left the Massachusetts coastline, and he never will. You can see him sometimes if you're on a country drive. Can't miss him - he has the exact look of someone named Percy Fish.
Olivia West, "Murder On the Road," resides in Arkham, MA. She works as a journalist at the Arkham Gazette, where she received numerous accolades for her reporting on the "less dead." The forgotten stab victims left by the roadside with roses in their mouths, and those that wash up to shore with throats clawed open. She dreams of one day winning a Pulitzer.
Helena Ellison| " Rose Among Thorns ," explores her love of roses & antique blades through her latest coffee table book which presents large glossy photos of her most prized possessions. Helena can also be found in the latest Arkham Times' article by Olivia West. Helena will be answering questions such as: "What is your favorite variety of rose?" "How easy is it to clean the grooves of your antique blades?" and "Where were you last weekend?"
Nigel Delapore,' Friends for Dinner: The Ethics of Consensual Cannibalism,' lives alone in his ancestral estate just outside of Dunwich, Massachusetts. Ever since the disappearance of his faithful cat, the rats, these damnch agus dholas Ung! rats that scurry in the walls, always scurrying, always ripping. Mr. Delapore is offering a substantial rewuachrd forhr atys dunarch Rrlh! retunghurn of his cat, Lucia von Nylortep...chchch...ort aodaun...bewhaurhr the womhuanghul with the lancuhlelets.. leatsa! ung offv the roses...
Lucille Van Ness, ‘For The Cat Is Cryptic, And Close To Strange Things’, is close to fishy things whose bloodlines blend with humans to cause cruel things. When Lucy is not licking the kill off her paws on the midnight shores of Innsmouth, she sniffs the roses in the mouths of those slain for their cosmic orisons. Those slain with wounds scented by antiquity and left on the country-side road. The roadside where Lucy finds herself in the sun on some afternoons, napping on a warm brick wall covered by ivy. Watching with eyes half wide as she drives by.
J. J. J. Jackson, author of "Nosferatu on the Shore", writes unapologetic fiction in his cabin in the woods, and lives completely off-grid and self-sufficient. His work has been called, ‘intimidating’ by Witness Magazine, and ‘unfathomable’ by That Books Guy. Jackson does not have a web profile or an email address. All book queries should be sent to PO Box 115, Arden, Texas. Internet Search Engine results will not report that all charges were dropped, but they were.
J. J. J. J. Gowanus, author of 'Dracula, a Oral History' has numerous vampire stories but alas, most are unpublished unless you count JJJ Jackass Jackson's ripoff of Nosferatu at the Beach, his ripoff of Vampire Syndrome by J. Gowanus or his virtual mimeograph of Bloodsuckers Delight by again, J. Gowanus. You better stay off the grid motherf----er.
J.J.J.J. Jonathan Harker, author of The Real Night Stalkers Among Us, resides in London when not on extended travel. On to you Jackson/Gowanus or should I say Graf Orlok. Google Earth shows me there are 64 properties in greater Arlen that are not on the grid. See you soon for sunrise cocktails.
J.J.J.J. John Arden, author of 'Last One Here,' died on March 26, 1881, having taken his own life. His remains were discovered in his home in Arden, TX, with strange bite marks above his clavicle. After his death, his wife, Katie, relocated to Sheridan, Wyoming, where she was remarried to local undertaker Arthur Finkel. This posthumous writing was generously provided by the archives of Miskatonic University.
Larry Finkel, author of "The Everyday Politics of Candyland" can be found on his YouTube channel "Boardgame Everything." There he takes the time to explain the complexity of Clue to the rise and fall of the British Navy in Battleship. Please join us there.
Jerry Finkel, 'The order of the cards is set: Candyland, Birth Order, and The Illusion of Free Will', is the totally underappreciated younger brother of failed YouTube influencer Larry Finkel of "Boardgame Everything." Jerry is currently a student at Harvard University, with a full scholarship and a 4.0 GPA. Not that their dad gives a flip because he's too busy fawning over that idiot's stupid internet fame. Oh yeah, and while that lazy dirtbag is editing his dumb videos, who makes time to mow the lawn and trim the hedges? Not Larry. Who takes Mom out to dinner on Mother's Day? Not Larry, never big famous Larry.
Berta Finkel, author of “Sons: The Heartbreak and the Glory,” would like nothing better than her boys to make nice. She’s proud of both of them equally. From Larry she gets lots of free stuff he calls “swag,” but Jerry gives her more kisses. Both of them are available and ready to have a baby, girls!
Bart Finkel, "Always Burn Bridges," abandoned his family to live a Kerouacian lifestyle traveling the back roads of America. "Out of Love with My Son's Celebrity" is the weekly newsletter he writes about rediscovering himself post-vanishment. He presently resides in the RV Village just outside of Dunwich, where he doesn't have to hear about board games all day. He doesn't believe his wife has noticed his absence.
Jerry Finkel, co-author of "Life Is Not a Game," Jerry collaborates with Helena Ellison, a graduate of historical forensics to tell a tale of a brother who has found a new found love of games. A brother bent on revenge & blood lust must learn the ultimate game of how to get away with murder.
Billy Finkel, 'Blame it on Berta,' has vowed not to speak to his sons, conjoined twins Larry and Jerry, until they stop their blasphemin' panzy ways. It's not natural, Jerry! That's your brother's penis! Billy spends most of his free time cruising the Massachusetts Coastline, looking for some really juicy Fish. Not Fisher. Not Fishbach. Just yummy, tasty Fish.
Lana Koching, author of "2 Sons, 1 cup" and "The Scratch-n-Sniff Scatbook" spends her nights in a backdoor love triangle, gathering media for her next work and disappointing Jerry and Larry's mother who says, "You'll never get pregnant like that."
Liasa Leuken, ‘Her Story Wasn’t History’ and ‘Sheets of Sapphic Sheets of Yonic Sheets of Spells’ and ‘Unphallic Hill’ Is an MMC Trinity graduate who completed her double PHD studies in ‘Traditional Power Pre-Patriarchal Constructs’ along with a medical/anthropological/non-secular PHD in ‘Dianic Phallo-Constructs’. She runs a coastal-forest resort dedicated to the sacred connection that can only be found between HER with the Gaiaic Body. For inquiries: She inquires only.
Michael Northrop, ‘The Cost of Love’, began his MFA studies in his mid-twenties but never completed his degree, choosing instead to support his (now ex-)wife and maintain the household while she earned her dual PHDs in ‘Traditional Power Pre-Patriarchal Constructs’ and ‘Dianic Phallo-Constructs’, which seemed like the honorable thing to do, but in retrospect was hugely counterproductive. Between ten-hour shifts, grocery shopping, lawn work, cleaning, turning wrenches, pet care, and doting on his former beloved, he’s been able to eek out some time to pen the above, along with such stories as ‘How Could I Have Been Better?’, ‘The Myth of The Good Man’, ‘Come, Talk To Me’, ‘How Much Longer Must I Do This?’, and the poem ‘Tonight, It’s The Stranger For Me.’ He is currently seeking representation, both legal and literary.
Simone M. Northop, 'Dodging the Hanger,' has chosen to publish under her paternal last name. Her forthcoming antifeminist manifesto, 'Sex Twice,' is due out this Father's Day.
Michael Northop, 'Everything That Sparkles...,' examines the love that got away. Was it his cooking? Was it the way he folded the towels? He has recently moved to Wyoming to be closer to his ex-wife and her new husband in order to try to work things out. He has also taken up landscape painting in order to assist his ex-wife and her husband with her current nude painting project while Simone looks on in horror.
Else Zizek, "The Third Woman, Again," was awarded the Alhazred Grant in 2011, and has since penned such acclaimed poems as, "How to Break a Family," and "This Cursed Forest for the Trees." Follow her on social media under the handle @elseTreeZ to stay up-to-date on her work. She lives and works alongside her soul mate, Liasa Leuken, at their coastal-forest resort.
Bastet Ormerod is author of ‘Feline Freedom’, described by PETA as ‘a satisfying punch in the face for pet carers’. Ormerod dedicates her royalties to liberating female cats from so-called ownership, offering them respect and sanctuary in her local forest. She is a vocal – and on occasion physical – re-educator of paternalists who insist that cats need their help.
Charlie Leuken,' Better off Dead,' writes from beyond the grave. He uses his mother's maiden name in her honor, stating that her giving him the gift of death was the best thing that ever happened to him. When he's not organizing public demonstrations with his political activist group, Fetuses for Deletus, he can be found nose-deep in the latest S.S. Riley novel. Vivian S Vaine and her gatekeeping ass can f*** right off.
Simon Menes Northrop, ‘Left To Hang’ ‘From Waite To Northrop To The Thing On The Doorstep’ ‘Mother, It’s Not Gaiaic In The Forest. Mother, She’s Cosmic’, has recently arrived on the coast from Ulthar where he was raised in The Nine Lives Temple of Bast. Simon’s critique of ‘Sex Twice’ published in Historia Veneficii proves that his twin sister’s turn against feminism is not due to “internalized misogyny” but due to what has come to internalize itself within her. “What is internal is seeking to become eternal, from body to body, down family through paternity”, Simon argues. “The Waite family line, which Simone’s and mine father is distantly connected to through his father, is used to keep this entity in our reality.” Simon also brings speculation about the “Waite” entity’s preference for male bodies and the “fate” that had him born to and abandoned by a malignant narcissist who was once his mother. “The fact that her faith failed to protect my sister proves that my mother’s faith is ill-conceived. Be warned when near their “resort”, that all the members of MMC Trinity have drank the milk of The Black Goat Of The Woods,” claims Simon,”Be warned of the sisters for they have succumbed to cosmic mirrors full of horrendous vanities. Be warned of the Thousand Young that plague the coastal woods for those abandoned or unlucky.”
S. S. Riley, 'The Undead Mistress of the Kennedy's', M.Ed., MT(ASCP)SM, working on a PhD in Supernatural Science. Look forward for their debut novel, "Ghost Abortions for Sale!", coming this winter. Preferring to let their work speak for itself, S. S. Riley is a pseudonym.
Vivian S. Vaine, 'Plan Boo,' is a self-taught expert in the strategic use of supernatural phenomena and jump scares for late stage family planning. Even though her methods are more effective and controversial than any of the outdated information you'd find in books like "Ghost Abortions for Sale!", and despite the fact that Vivian writes actual true things and not just fiction, she still has the courage to use her actual name. Pseudonyms, she firmly believes, are tacky and for cowards.
Xander Zalman: His latest release "Drop the Pen: The Inside Story of Authors Artificially Inflating Their Sales to Top the Charts." reveals Vivian Vaine, who writes under the pseudo name S.S. Riley, fabricating an author rivalry to take advantage of social media algorithms and negative media attention to boost sales.
Rip Upton, 'Pseudoception', wants you to ask yourself a very important question: Are you absolutely certain that you understand your reality? Do you imagine, for instance, that Liasa Leuken and Jenny Asterberry are different people? Have you noticed something "fishy" about Olivia West's articles in The Arkham Gazette? A lot of people are guilty of manipulating the algorithm. Isn't that right, Ms. Ellison, or should I say Pebble D, or should I say Xander?
Katie Arden-Finkel, 'I'm Not Buying What You're Selling,' claims to be the oldest human on Earth at 143 years young, though Guinness refused to recognize her citing a lack of reliable medical evidence. Her second husband, esteemed undertaker Arthur Finkel, and third husband, the failed abortion-attempt survivor Horatio Riley, died of a mysterious illness 25 years to the day of each other. Isn't that crazy?
Vivian S. Vaine, ‘Plan Boo: Liars Like Xander’, has been quoted, regarding pseudonyms, as saying “are tacky and for cowards”. How can a mother be a coward in this age of Dagon rising? And tacky? Vivian reminds us that naming your kid after that Buffy The Vampire Slayer series is the ultimate in tack. Or, “Riley”, is the tack the give away? asks Vivian. Look to Vivian’s new release, ‘Plan Boo: How Hero Worshipping Won’t Stop The Old Ones’, before the ones of Innsmouth return to look for you.
Lucille Van Ness, ‘Vouching For Meow’ just posted the cutest picture of meowself wearing spectacles, paw on a coffee and reading meowmies new book ‘Blink Twice If You See Me’. Lucille gives the book five toe-beans up! Lucille also wants S.S. Riley and Vivian to stop fighting with each other in the bathroom because Meowmy needs the rent!
Berta Finkel, ‘Sons: The Heartbreak And The Glory’ and ‘Two Boys Of Mine To Quell That Cat Fight Of Thine’ thinks both S.S. Riley and Vivian sound like such lovely, single ladies with wombs that are ready to zoom Berta into grandmahood. Though Berta is a family mom, don’t think she’s not willing to progress. Each son of hers comes with a handsome dowry. First part of dowry received upon marriage. Second half when first child is born. Just one, Berta asks, just one from each of ya is all. Supplemental dowry’s available upon the delivery of grandchildren proceeding the first.
Just wanted to say thank you for coming to DD and being willing to sign so many things - never thought I’d get my single issues of FC2&3 all signed! Definitely worth the long drive!
Thank you for signing my box of books so generously and patient. It was a glorious wait in line. To be surrounded by so many Chuck fans, and a deeply wonderfully weird bookstore was a dream come true. It was worth the long drive in the rain! It was nice to finally meet you in person.
Cheryl Chatterton, author of “Salutations of Distant Remembrance,” is the editor of the online magazine ‘Encouraging Good Behavior through Somatic Reinforcement.’ She penned her debut poetry collection, ‘Fond Embraces’ in the span of a sleepless weekend. When she is not organizing a family reunion as the Chatterton matriarch, Cheryl enjoys desert herb gardening and pebble painting. Cheryl lives in Sheridan, Wyoming with her son and daughter-in-law.
Pebble D. | Author of 'Anthropoidic Mycelium' and member of the North American Mycological Society. Enjoys going on mushroom forays and rock climbing. Included in the viral New York Times article titled, "2024's Biggest Plant Shows" photo bombing Cheryl Chatterton at the IFPA The Global Produce & Floral Show. Photo caught a rip in Cheryl's pants revealing hot pink leopard print and a liposuction scar.
Dudley Trank, 'Water Your F'ing Lawn,' doesn't have time for unshaved pits, hippies on mushroom highs, or anything remotely leopard. In his spare time, serves as Mayor of Sheridan, Wyoming, and enjoys a good nap.
Where will you take this thread in our fourth round?
Liasa Leuken, 'I am Mother Nature: Nude Expressions' explores nature and femininity with close-up tasteful nudes endowed with painted nature scenes. Her recent book and nude project has recently changed the mind of her newest husband, Dudley Trank, who has discovered that he does,in fact, have time, an enormous amount of time for hippy shit when he gets to photograph countless nude women wearing flower paint which include his new hot wife and her equally hot friends. He still doesn't like anything remotely leopard. He now finds himself somehow doing all the chores and grocery shopping.
Timothy Dratch, "Affairs in Landscapes," has received accolades for his investigative journalism into the mysterious string of paintings that appeared around Sheridan depicting "empty" nature scenes. Closer inspection revealed the hidden nude forms of Pebble D. and Cheryl Chatterton in flagrante delicto. His upcoming essay, "Cheater in the Background," asks such poignant questions as: can a Hudson River School landscape classify as revenge porn?
Lawnica Wank, 'Penis Envy', would like to advise "The Dud" to keep his little tiny opinions to his very small self. You didn't mind leopard print thongs or hairy armpits the day before your wedding anniversary two years ago, little guy. Oh, and the abortion? Let's just say it was a "ghost abortion". And the haunting's just beginning, pinky winky. Lawnica Wank is, of course, a pseudonym.
Hannah Trank, 'Daddy's Piece is Just Fine, Thank You,' wants to make it clear that micropenis is more common than you might think, but the presence of such a tiny member does not preclude a virile male from laying pipe and making babies. So suck it, "Lawnica."
Sheriff Boyd-Trank, ‘Encouraging Good Behaviour Through Law Enforcement’ ‘Desert Herb Gardening: Slang And Codes In Underground Traffic Circles’ has just posted a bounty for both Cheryl Chatterton and her previous collaborator, Pebble D. Both are considered armed. Cheryl’s son and step daughter remain on the suspect list with status unknown. Reward for whereabouts.
Genevieve S. Small, “Blink Twice If You See Me,” is also the author of several to-do lists she hasn’t gotten around to. She and her cat Lucy make their home in Brooklyn. This is her first published work.
Lucille van Ness, “A Familiar Tail,” moonlights as a bookseller in Greenwich Village and is always on the prowl for her next poem. Her recent work has appeared or is forthcoming in Blackbird, The Believer, and Passages North. In a previous life she oversaw the translations of Mark Twain’s musings. When she’s not composing found list poetry, Lucy can be found daydreaming on a fire escape in Brooklyn.
Jenny Asterberry, ‘Roommate Issues: When The Kitty Litter Won’t Change Itself’ with the recent posting ‘Your Cat Did Not Write That Bio, So, No You Can’t Blame That One On The “Dog”’ has attempted everything from Haitian Voodoo to Midwestern Canadian Zen and has found that enough is enough. The smell is causing her to blink more than twice. The next time she blinks, Jenny hopes to open her eyes to an apartment empty of Genevieve.
Again, each of these seven threads will eventually be snipped apart and the fragments will be intercut.
Dagger, just Dagger, 'Undead or Alive,' is a hunter, so to speak. He drinks his coffee charred and smokes the kind of cigarettes that give you cancer. Ever seen a vampire? You're welcome. Whether he's tracking down his arch-nemesis, Graf Orlok, or crawling through the muddy sand of Massachusetts in search of eldritch horrors, he always gets his monster. And he don't need no "Google Maps", like Harker the hack, neither. Currently, Dagger is hunting a cat demon who possesses her victims with unblinking eyes, forcing them to write incantations in the form of poetry.
Djinny Astralbearing, author of ‘When The Door Opens Behind Closed Eyes’ and ‘Was It Voodoo Or Zen That Let The Entity In?’ Is one of Jenny Asterberry’s alternate pen names. Jenny, the mirror. Yes, sometimes in the reflection of Genevieve’s window is where Djinny can be found. And, yes, sometimes on the glass portal-like doors at the laundromat that Jenny finds herself staring at, watching her laundry turn over and over is where Djinny can be found. In Jenny’s and Genevieve’s bathroom is where Djinny is mostly found. Penning around. Jenny needs to look at the mirror and not think about the laundromat! Jenny can try opening her ears first. Djinny wants Jenny to know that Jenny pushed her rage down to far, that it burst up through the sand on the other side of the world. That that was how Djinny was freed from Djinny’s prison. That Djinny owes a debt to Jenny’s rage. Djinny will grant Jenny one wish if Jenny gives Djinny all of her rage. Don’t worry Jenny, it’s impossible for a cat to talk. Djinny knows that Jenny’s right so Jenny doesn’t have to worry about Djinny and the innocent cat that Jenny knows can’t chat. Djinny has no problem with cats. Cats don’t talk, Jenny. When Jenny is ready, Jenny can open her eyes and let all the rage into Djinny. Don’t worry Jenny, Djinny says don’t worry when you open your eyes to only find you in the mirror, Jenny. Djinny will be back with you shortly.
Helena Ellison: Contributing author of 'Historia Veneficii'. Enjoys rose gardening and country side driving. Winner of the Berkshire Conference of Women Historians Book Prize. Member of the Latin National Honor Society and the International Guild of Knot Tyers North America. Currently working on a modern translation of the Heptameron. Collects antique blades and spring lancets. Earned a bachelors degree in history and masters degree in historical forensics at Miskatonic University.
Percy Fish, "Queer Burials: Love and the Death Industry," wants to emphasize that his name is NOT a typo. It is not Fisher nor Fishbach - it's just Fish. Fish received his BA in History at Dunwich Community College and uses it to trace back patrilineal lines and to write about your gay ancestors for his blog. His essay, "Last Rites in the Atlantic," was nominated for the Pushcart Prize. Fish has never left the Massachusetts coastline, and he never will. You can see him sometimes if you're on a country drive. Can't miss him - he has the exact look of someone named Percy Fish.
Olivia West, "Murder On the Road," resides in Arkham, MA. She works as a journalist at the Arkham Gazette, where she received numerous accolades for her reporting on the "less dead." The forgotten stab victims left by the roadside with roses in their mouths, and those that wash up to shore with throats clawed open. She dreams of one day winning a Pulitzer.
How can you begin to weave these elements with those of the other threads?
Helena Ellison| " Rose Among Thorns ," explores her love of roses & antique blades through her latest coffee table book which presents large glossy photos of her most prized possessions. Helena can also be found in the latest Arkham Times' article by Olivia West. Helena will be answering questions such as: "What is your favorite variety of rose?" "How easy is it to clean the grooves of your antique blades?" and "Where were you last weekend?"
Nigel Delapore,' Friends for Dinner: The Ethics of Consensual Cannibalism,' lives alone in his ancestral estate just outside of Dunwich, Massachusetts. Ever since the disappearance of his faithful cat, the rats, these damnch agus dholas Ung! rats that scurry in the walls, always scurrying, always ripping. Mr. Delapore is offering a substantial rewuachrd forhr atys dunarch Rrlh! retunghurn of his cat, Lucia von Nylortep...chchch...ort aodaun...bewhaurhr the womhuanghul with the lancuhlelets.. leatsa! ung offv the roses...
That’s roping in the Lovecraft!
Lucille Van Ness, ‘For The Cat Is Cryptic, And Close To Strange Things’, is close to fishy things whose bloodlines blend with humans to cause cruel things. When Lucy is not licking the kill off her paws on the midnight shores of Innsmouth, she sniffs the roses in the mouths of those slain for their cosmic orisons. Those slain with wounds scented by antiquity and left on the country-side road. The roadside where Lucy finds herself in the sun on some afternoons, napping on a warm brick wall covered by ivy. Watching with eyes half wide as she drives by.
J. J. J. Jackson, author of "Nosferatu on the Shore", writes unapologetic fiction in his cabin in the woods, and lives completely off-grid and self-sufficient. His work has been called, ‘intimidating’ by Witness Magazine, and ‘unfathomable’ by That Books Guy. Jackson does not have a web profile or an email address. All book queries should be sent to PO Box 115, Arden, Texas. Internet Search Engine results will not report that all charges were dropped, but they were.
J. J. J. J. Gowanus, author of 'Dracula, a Oral History' has numerous vampire stories but alas, most are unpublished unless you count JJJ Jackass Jackson's ripoff of Nosferatu at the Beach, his ripoff of Vampire Syndrome by J. Gowanus or his virtual mimeograph of Bloodsuckers Delight by again, J. Gowanus. You better stay off the grid motherf----er.
J.J.J.J. Jonathan Harker, author of The Real Night Stalkers Among Us, resides in London when not on extended travel. On to you Jackson/Gowanus or should I say Graf Orlok. Google Earth shows me there are 64 properties in greater Arlen that are not on the grid. See you soon for sunrise cocktails.
Where can this escalate to?
J.J.J.J. John Arden, author of 'Last One Here,' died on March 26, 1881, having taken his own life. His remains were discovered in his home in Arden, TX, with strange bite marks above his clavicle. After his death, his wife, Katie, relocated to Sheridan, Wyoming, where she was remarried to local undertaker Arthur Finkel. This posthumous writing was generously provided by the archives of Miskatonic University.
Gowanus/Jackson, ‘Pressed On The Rocks’, loves a good cap before bed.
Larry Finkel, author of "The Everyday Politics of Candyland" can be found on his YouTube channel "Boardgame Everything." There he takes the time to explain the complexity of Clue to the rise and fall of the British Navy in Battleship. Please join us there.
Jerry Finkel, 'The order of the cards is set: Candyland, Birth Order, and The Illusion of Free Will', is the totally underappreciated younger brother of failed YouTube influencer Larry Finkel of "Boardgame Everything." Jerry is currently a student at Harvard University, with a full scholarship and a 4.0 GPA. Not that their dad gives a flip because he's too busy fawning over that idiot's stupid internet fame. Oh yeah, and while that lazy dirtbag is editing his dumb videos, who makes time to mow the lawn and trim the hedges? Not Larry. Who takes Mom out to dinner on Mother's Day? Not Larry, never big famous Larry.
Berta Finkel, author of “Sons: The Heartbreak and the Glory,” would like nothing better than her boys to make nice. She’s proud of both of them equally. From Larry she gets lots of free stuff he calls “swag,” but Jerry gives her more kisses. Both of them are available and ready to have a baby, girls!
What's missing and can be added? Patricide?
Bart Finkel, "Always Burn Bridges," abandoned his family to live a Kerouacian lifestyle traveling the back roads of America. "Out of Love with My Son's Celebrity" is the weekly newsletter he writes about rediscovering himself post-vanishment. He presently resides in the RV Village just outside of Dunwich, where he doesn't have to hear about board games all day. He doesn't believe his wife has noticed his absence.
Jerry Finkel, co-author of "Life Is Not a Game," Jerry collaborates with Helena Ellison, a graduate of historical forensics to tell a tale of a brother who has found a new found love of games. A brother bent on revenge & blood lust must learn the ultimate game of how to get away with murder.
Billy Finkel, 'Blame it on Berta,' has vowed not to speak to his sons, conjoined twins Larry and Jerry, until they stop their blasphemin' panzy ways. It's not natural, Jerry! That's your brother's penis! Billy spends most of his free time cruising the Massachusetts Coastline, looking for some really juicy Fish. Not Fisher. Not Fishbach. Just yummy, tasty Fish.
Lana Koching, author of "2 Sons, 1 cup" and "The Scratch-n-Sniff Scatbook" spends her nights in a backdoor love triangle, gathering media for her next work and disappointing Jerry and Larry's mother who says, "You'll never get pregnant like that."
Liasa Leuken, ‘Her Story Wasn’t History’ and ‘Sheets of Sapphic Sheets of Yonic Sheets of Spells’ and ‘Unphallic Hill’ Is an MMC Trinity graduate who completed her double PHD studies in ‘Traditional Power Pre-Patriarchal Constructs’ along with a medical/anthropological/non-secular PHD in ‘Dianic Phallo-Constructs’. She runs a coastal-forest resort dedicated to the sacred connection that can only be found between HER with the Gaiaic Body. For inquiries: She inquires only.
Michael Northrop, ‘The Cost of Love’, began his MFA studies in his mid-twenties but never completed his degree, choosing instead to support his (now ex-)wife and maintain the household while she earned her dual PHDs in ‘Traditional Power Pre-Patriarchal Constructs’ and ‘Dianic Phallo-Constructs’, which seemed like the honorable thing to do, but in retrospect was hugely counterproductive. Between ten-hour shifts, grocery shopping, lawn work, cleaning, turning wrenches, pet care, and doting on his former beloved, he’s been able to eek out some time to pen the above, along with such stories as ‘How Could I Have Been Better?’, ‘The Myth of The Good Man’, ‘Come, Talk To Me’, ‘How Much Longer Must I Do This?’, and the poem ‘Tonight, It’s The Stranger For Me.’ He is currently seeking representation, both legal and literary.
Simone M. Northop, 'Dodging the Hanger,' has chosen to publish under her paternal last name. Her forthcoming antifeminist manifesto, 'Sex Twice,' is due out this Father's Day.
Where is this one going?
Michael Northop, 'Everything That Sparkles...,' examines the love that got away. Was it his cooking? Was it the way he folded the towels? He has recently moved to Wyoming to be closer to his ex-wife and her new husband in order to try to work things out. He has also taken up landscape painting in order to assist his ex-wife and her husband with her current nude painting project while Simone looks on in horror.
Else Zizek, "The Third Woman, Again," was awarded the Alhazred Grant in 2011, and has since penned such acclaimed poems as, "How to Break a Family," and "This Cursed Forest for the Trees." Follow her on social media under the handle @elseTreeZ to stay up-to-date on her work. She lives and works alongside her soul mate, Liasa Leuken, at their coastal-forest resort.
Bastet Ormerod is author of ‘Feline Freedom’, described by PETA as ‘a satisfying punch in the face for pet carers’. Ormerod dedicates her royalties to liberating female cats from so-called ownership, offering them respect and sanctuary in her local forest. She is a vocal – and on occasion physical – re-educator of paternalists who insist that cats need their help.
Charlie Leuken,' Better off Dead,' writes from beyond the grave. He uses his mother's maiden name in her honor, stating that her giving him the gift of death was the best thing that ever happened to him. When he's not organizing public demonstrations with his political activist group, Fetuses for Deletus, he can be found nose-deep in the latest S.S. Riley novel. Vivian S Vaine and her gatekeeping ass can f*** right off.
Simon Menes Northrop, ‘Left To Hang’ ‘From Waite To Northrop To The Thing On The Doorstep’ ‘Mother, It’s Not Gaiaic In The Forest. Mother, She’s Cosmic’, has recently arrived on the coast from Ulthar where he was raised in The Nine Lives Temple of Bast. Simon’s critique of ‘Sex Twice’ published in Historia Veneficii proves that his twin sister’s turn against feminism is not due to “internalized misogyny” but due to what has come to internalize itself within her. “What is internal is seeking to become eternal, from body to body, down family through paternity”, Simon argues. “The Waite family line, which Simone’s and mine father is distantly connected to through his father, is used to keep this entity in our reality.” Simon also brings speculation about the “Waite” entity’s preference for male bodies and the “fate” that had him born to and abandoned by a malignant narcissist who was once his mother. “The fact that her faith failed to protect my sister proves that my mother’s faith is ill-conceived. Be warned when near their “resort”, that all the members of MMC Trinity have drank the milk of The Black Goat Of The Woods,” claims Simon,”Be warned of the sisters for they have succumbed to cosmic mirrors full of horrendous vanities. Be warned of the Thousand Young that plague the coastal woods for those abandoned or unlucky.”
S. S. Riley, 'The Undead Mistress of the Kennedy's', M.Ed., MT(ASCP)SM, working on a PhD in Supernatural Science. Look forward for their debut novel, "Ghost Abortions for Sale!", coming this winter. Preferring to let their work speak for itself, S. S. Riley is a pseudonym.
Vivian S. Vaine, 'Plan Boo,' is a self-taught expert in the strategic use of supernatural phenomena and jump scares for late stage family planning. Even though her methods are more effective and controversial than any of the outdated information you'd find in books like "Ghost Abortions for Sale!", and despite the fact that Vivian writes actual true things and not just fiction, she still has the courage to use her actual name. Pseudonyms, she firmly believes, are tacky and for cowards.
Xander Zalman: His latest release "Drop the Pen: The Inside Story of Authors Artificially Inflating Their Sales to Top the Charts." reveals Vivian Vaine, who writes under the pseudo name S.S. Riley, fabricating an author rivalry to take advantage of social media algorithms and negative media attention to boost sales.
How can the Cat, Lucy, show up in this thread? Or the fish people? Or Finkel clan?
Rip Upton, 'Pseudoception', wants you to ask yourself a very important question: Are you absolutely certain that you understand your reality? Do you imagine, for instance, that Liasa Leuken and Jenny Asterberry are different people? Have you noticed something "fishy" about Olivia West's articles in The Arkham Gazette? A lot of people are guilty of manipulating the algorithm. Isn't that right, Ms. Ellison, or should I say Pebble D, or should I say Xander?
Katie Arden-Finkel, 'I'm Not Buying What You're Selling,' claims to be the oldest human on Earth at 143 years young, though Guinness refused to recognize her citing a lack of reliable medical evidence. Her second husband, esteemed undertaker Arthur Finkel, and third husband, the failed abortion-attempt survivor Horatio Riley, died of a mysterious illness 25 years to the day of each other. Isn't that crazy?
Vivian S. Vaine, ‘Plan Boo: Liars Like Xander’, has been quoted, regarding pseudonyms, as saying “are tacky and for cowards”. How can a mother be a coward in this age of Dagon rising? And tacky? Vivian reminds us that naming your kid after that Buffy The Vampire Slayer series is the ultimate in tack. Or, “Riley”, is the tack the give away? asks Vivian. Look to Vivian’s new release, ‘Plan Boo: How Hero Worshipping Won’t Stop The Old Ones’, before the ones of Innsmouth return to look for you.
Lucille Van Ness, ‘Vouching For Meow’ just posted the cutest picture of meowself wearing spectacles, paw on a coffee and reading meowmies new book ‘Blink Twice If You See Me’. Lucille gives the book five toe-beans up! Lucille also wants S.S. Riley and Vivian to stop fighting with each other in the bathroom because Meowmy needs the rent!
Berta Finkel, ‘Sons: The Heartbreak And The Glory’ and ‘Two Boys Of Mine To Quell That Cat Fight Of Thine’ thinks both S.S. Riley and Vivian sound like such lovely, single ladies with wombs that are ready to zoom Berta into grandmahood. Though Berta is a family mom, don’t think she’s not willing to progress. Each son of hers comes with a handsome dowry. First part of dowry received upon marriage. Second half when first child is born. Just one, Berta asks, just one from each of ya is all. Supplemental dowry’s available upon the delivery of grandchildren proceeding the first.
Just wanted to say thank you for coming to DD and being willing to sign so many things - never thought I’d get my single issues of FC2&3 all signed! Definitely worth the long drive!
Thank you for signing my box of books so generously and patient. It was a glorious wait in line. To be surrounded by so many Chuck fans, and a deeply wonderfully weird bookstore was a dream come true. It was worth the long drive in the rain! It was nice to finally meet you in person.